Here is the first chapter of a series that I’m wrapping up!

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  • #144471
    Autumnlily
    @autumnlily
      • Rank: Bumbling Henchman
      • Total Posts: 14

      1

      The Opening

      Down the lane from a little lakeside American town, a farmer and his wife settled into a little cottage perched elegantly atop the hill. It stood in view for all that travel the long winding road. Nobody in that little town could guess how far that road went or where it ended, but then again nobody cared to know but for the exception of a little thirteen year old girl named Felicity Ross. She was the second child of the farmer and his wife. In the Ross household dwelt Felicity’s poor widowed grandmother Mary, her parents Tommy and Lucy, and her older brother Gilbert.

      Felicity desired nothing more than to get out into the world. She wanted to see the world through more than just photographs and drawings in her school books. Felicity wanted to be the one to take the picture and draw the drawings. It seemed a simple wish but over and over again Felicity had no answer or opportunity. This secret desire she never told a soul, never even wrote in her journal. Sure her family probably had their guesses at this girl’s behavior but then again Felicity was a master at masking emotion.

      That spring morning she strode down to that wide, seemingly unending road and had already resolved to follow it. She wouldn’t wait for God to answer any longer.

      That was when her brother came along.

      “Felicity what are you doing standing around” Gilbert grumbled. “There are loads of chores to be done.”

      Felicity pursed her lips and stubbornly refused to turn to look him in the eye. “I’m not going back Gil and you can’t make me.”

      “Don’t be a fool,” Gilbert strode over to her side. Still Felicity refused to meet his gaze.

      “I’m not a fool” Felicity huffed proudly and made her move to bolt. Gilbert roughly grabbed Felicity’s arm and began attempting to drag her back home.

      “Get off of me” Felicity cried, planting her feet like a stubborn mule. Gilbert pulled harder and harder till Felicity was standing on a loose patch of gravel beside the road. When he pulled again Felicity’s feet slid out from under her and she and her brother tumbled down a small ditch.

      Felicity spit out a mouthful of grass and dirt. “Look what you did! Mama will be so mad that you tore my new sweater,” she cried as she furiously kicked and punched her brother in rage.

      Gilbert shoved her off of himself with apparent ease. “It’s your own fault for trying to run away.”

      Felicity breathed heavily pounding her fists on the ground and kicking her feet like a child throwing a fit.

      Gilbert watched her curiously. He’d never seen his sister this way. He offered her a hand up but Felicity ignored it and got up dusting off her torn muddy clothes. Casting Gilbert an angry look, she began to climb out of the ditch. Gilbert followed close behind ready to catch her if she were to fall.

      When they got back up on level ground they saw a strange and peculiar sight. The middle of that wide road was missing. A perfect symmetrical circle about two feet in diameter replaced it. Both children stopped in their tracks when they spotted the mysterious opening. Neither hardly dared to breathe.  An eerie silence hung in the air. The birds paused in their songs, the critters froze, and the wind all together came to a stop.

      Finally Felicity couldn’t take it any longer and slowly crept towards the hole. Standing at the edge she gripped the sides and poked her head in. Felicity saw there was an orange hazy sky spotted with what appeared to glitter…

      But before she could see where it came from a hand shot out and grabbed her pulling her in.

      Gilbert raced over frantically. “Felicity! Felicity!” He knelt down and realized the opening was shrinking. Without a second thought, Gilbert dove face first into the hole after his sister. Instantly after Gilbert’s foot was through the hole snapped shut and no trace was left of it.

      – – –

      Felicity had the feeling she would fall forever when she finally hit the ground. She was surprised to find that she was unharmed without even a single bruise and scratch. Daring to crack open one eye, Felicity saw the great hazy bright orange sky again. Two blazing balls one red and the other bright yellow shed light into this strange land. The red one being larger and the yellow peeking out from the shoulder of the other. Small shining white stars spotted the sky even though it seemed to be day. Wonder and awe overcame any fragment of fear.

      Felicity looked at the strange ground. It was an odd cotton kind of looking grass with a pale blue hue. The grass -as Felicity called it though it didn’t really remind one of grass in the least bit- was soft and fluffy. The cotton like grass stretched a few inches tall and swayed gently with the breeze.

      While admiring the grass Felicity spotted her brother a few feet away. His face was the picture of peace and contentment.
      “Where are we?” Felicity asked.

      Gilbert shrugged, unable to peel his gaze from the wonderful sky. Now something like a sunset striped across the horizon. The orange was blended with streaks of white and purple and sparkled with thousands more visible stars appearing in larger numbers by the second.

      Then came a soft humming and Felicity wondered if angels themselves were singing. It was a sad kind of melody. Felicity saw that the sunset and stars danced to the song swaying back and forth ever so slightly. Even the wind seemed to flow along to the rhythm and lend music to it. And as suddenly as the song came it stopped. Everything was still till the breeze picked up once more and hummed through the grass.

      A tree down the glade caught Felicity’s attention. The trunk of the tree came out of the ground looking like it belonged there as a mountain does on earth. Several trunk leathery looking purple spirals branched out. They twirled and twisted about each other. At the top the branches split into three parts and out of it grew a leaf resembling a ginormous peacock feather as big as Felicity was.

      She saw no other forms of life except a different kind of bushy looking flower. It was bigger than the tree. The flower had a blue pole going up eight feet then curving over giving off three huge dusty rose petals. In the center of the flower hung dozens of circular black beads, The beads were as big as Felicity’s head and speckled with pink, orange, and white dots and marks.

      The air also had notable qualities. It was almost sickly sweet and smelled of fresh fruit. Something about it seemed light and foggy.

      Any direction Felicity looked she saw nothing but land that went on forever with the same tree and flower. No ponds, no settlements, no people or animals, or food. Finally fear sunk in. “How are we going to get home? Why aren’t we home anyway? This isn’t good at all” she cried.

      “I don’t know but what I do know is we wouldn’t be trapped… wherever we are if you hadn’t tried to run away,” Gilbert replied vehemently.

      Felicity opened her mouth to retort but for the first time in her life was at a loss of words. Gilbert was right. They were now hopelessly lost in a strange unfamiliar land and it was all her fault. Nothing Felicity could say would change that.

      Looks like I’m getting punished and Gil with me, Felicity thought. Why did she of all people have to have this happen to her. This terrible and wonderful thing.

       

       

      There it is for you. I hope you enjoyed it. I’m open to any criticism (also, I’m aware that grammar is definitely not my strong suit so please, please help me with that)

      Thanks for reading 🙂

       

       

       

       

      #144474
      Smiley
      @smiley
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 2210

        @autumnlily

        Oooh I like it and I’m huge into sibling dynamics or really any family dynamics

        I can’t help with the grammar because I’m terrible at it too XD

        How old are the characters?

        Do me a favor…. Tell Cress I meant it
        -Thorne

        #144475
        Janellebelovedpig
        @janellebelovedpig
          • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
          • Total Posts: 148

          @autumnlily I love your world building! Blue cotton “grass,” purple trees, and other unique plants. Makes me picture a Dr. Seuss world. I’d love to hear more. Will there be unique creatures found here as well? Or is that too much of a spoiler? Sounds like a cool journey!

          #144478
          hybridlore
          @hybridlore
            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
            • Total Posts: 1689

            @autumnlily

            Hey again!! 😁 This sounds really interesting!! I’m curious to see where they are now . . .


            @janellebelovedpig
            Yeah I am kind of getting Dr. Seuss vibes 😂

            Also, you said this series you’re wrapping up? That’s really cool 😁 How long is it?

            And I can help with grammar if you need me to!

            Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis

            #144479
            hybridlore
            @hybridlore
              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
              • Total Posts: 1689

              @autumnlily

              I would also recommend grammarly to you!! It’s really cool, even the free version that I use 🙂

              Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis

              #144480
              Smiley
              @smiley
                • Rank: Chosen One
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                @hybridlore

                Grammarly is amazing XD I count on it XD

                Do me a favor…. Tell Cress I meant it
                -Thorne

                #144481
                hybridlore
                @hybridlore
                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                  • Total Posts: 1689

                  @smiley

                  Yeah its pretty awesome!! Although it can get annoying sometimes, Google docs doesn’t work very well with it for me but on anything else its great 🙂

                  Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis

                  #144482
                  Smiley
                  @smiley
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 2210

                    @hybridlore

                    It works pretty good for me on Google Docs but I use it one everything

                    (Including the message XD)

                    Do me a favor…. Tell Cress I meant it
                    -Thorne

                    #144483
                    hybridlore
                    @hybridlore
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1689

                      @smiley

                      Oh that’s good! 😁 Ikr, mine was popping up on my laptop 😂

                      Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis

                      #144484
                      hybridlore
                      @hybridlore
                        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                        • Total Posts: 1689

                        @autumnlily

                        Ooh also reminds me of Alice In Wonderland a little 😅

                        Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis

                        #144487
                        Smiley
                        @smiley
                          • Rank: Chosen One
                          • Total Posts: 2210

                          @hybridlore

                          Yeah sometimes it doesn’t get what I’m going for XD But most of the time it works

                          Do me a favor…. Tell Cress I meant it
                          -Thorne

                          #144488
                          hybridlore
                          @hybridlore
                            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                            • Total Posts: 1689

                            @smiley

                            Yeah . . . 😅

                            Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis

                            #144490
                            hybridlore
                            @hybridlore
                              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                              • Total Posts: 1689

                              @autumnlily

                              Felicity breathed heavily pounding her fists on the ground and kicking her feet like a child throwing a fit.

                              Just rereading it, I think if Felicity is thirteen she probably wouldn’t act like this, but I’m not sure where the story goes after this so maybe I’m missing something?

                              Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis

                              #144508
                              Autumnlily
                              @autumnlily
                                • Rank: Bumbling Henchman
                                • Total Posts: 14

                                No, the story has an internal conflict (Felicity’s own problems that she is grappling with) and an external conflict. Both of which widen as the story goes on. Towards the end of this first book I start to develop this character even more and show things that caused her to act out as she did in the first chapter. I actually did want the reader to have an impression of immaturity!

                                #144510
                                Autumnlily
                                @autumnlily
                                  • Rank: Bumbling Henchman
                                  • Total Posts: 14

                                  Also, Felicity is in fact 13 and her brother is 15. The world does have more to it, including some strange creatures and dragons.

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