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SOOO apparently this is where you go for stubborn scenes lol!!
AND I know I’ve already posted a question for help with an injury, well I’ve kinda gotten some help online with that so…but anymore help in that thread I’d appreciate as well, also feel free to ask ur own questions and such.
ANYWAY!! I am rlly trying to write because it’s been a HOT MINUTE and I really need to and kinda want to but I’m just kinda stuck at the same time and y’all…ugh.
So, I’ve written some, in the same scene that the injury mentioned in my other forum post takes place in. But now I’m stuck, because I don’t know where to go and I DESPERATELY need help.
like ASAP….
Y’all….😭
This might be really stupid but I am struggling….
See…I’ve got this major conflict brewing rn in this scene between Ara and Corvina, because Corvina has just hurt November.
Ara is feeling all of these emotions now. Her friend won’t wake up. He’s bleeding. She doesn’t know if he’s going to die, maybe a bit overdramatic, yes, but I mean he’s bleeding from the back of his skull and his face, and won’t wake up so….
And she blames herself, this also is because she hasn’t stood up for him other times, and this is yet another time where he has saved her. So she feels it’s her fault.
Now, however, her anger is turned to Corvina.
Now, In this first book, Ara’s biggest issue and Lie is feeling she must keep one half of herself tucked away and hidden. It’s the adventurous part of herself. The part of herself that steps up and leads, the part that is brave and willing to take risks.
Ever since something in her last, she’s been fighting against her own personality (something I’ve personally dealt with)
She’s embraced her timid quiet nature (which is a part of her) but she’s forced down any other part of herself, to the point she’s literally fighting with herself.
Because of this, when she feels emotions such as anger Or hate they’re now foreign to her and extreme And she feels guilty (even though they’re natural) she doesn’t allow herself to work through them in a Good and healthy way, and this causes even more trouble.
SO…all of that being said….
I’m now in this scene….
November’s been hurt. By Corvina. Ara is feeling all of these emotions, and then she realizes the person who has done it is standing right in front of her. And she gets angry.
And…I don’t know what to do….
Like…I’m not sure what to write….
She later regrets her own feelings (struggling with herself again) until later she discovers that she actually has to embrace both pieces of herself, and that she’s actually making things worse by pushing it down, but as of right now she hasn’t learned that, so she’s very turbulent.
And I’m just not sure exactly how she’d react in this scene.
I don’t think she’d throw hands tbh….XD. Like at first I was kinda thinking it might escalate to that a bit but…that’s just not her.
But like…idk how to write this argument exactly…
It’s a bit easier when it’s an argument between friends because you can be like “What were you thinking?!” But when you know it’s someone who was purposely doing it…?
What does Ara say?
These are probably weird questions but…yea XD. Just Any advice for how to write some conflict would be helpful.
Also a little info on how Corvina’s feeling at the moment; she’s kinda shocked herself and in a bit of pain, because what she did to November also affected her. She’d also be a tad surprised to see Ara acting the way she is (being so upset) but I think she’d quickly come out of her surprise.
@koshka @keilah-h @issawriter7 @devastate-lasting @gracie-j @scripter-of-kingdoms @abigail-m @elishavet-pidyon @jodi-maile @annabelle @daisy-torres @trahia-the-minstrel @libby @lydia-s @e-k-seaver @mkfairygirl @elfwing @sparrowhawke @maryg3 @writerlexi1216 @nova21 @freedomwriter76 @ariel-f@freedomwriter76 @wilder-w @queen_of_alvastia @anyone#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
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#ProtectSeb@freedomwriter76 ur tag kept glitching
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#ProtectSebOof, I see the issue. Lotsa tension right here lol
Great character, btw.
Is she alone with November, or is it November, her and Corvina?
(I love these names)November, her and Corvina
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#ProtectSebAnd thank you!!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
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#ProtectSebI can actually submit the scene if you’d like. Might be easier lol.
it’s short and it starts from where November is injured.
(Background Corvina can turn into a Raven at will, and November pushed Ara out of the way to take Corvinas blow)
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#ProtectSeb“November!” Ara shifted as she fell, reaching to pull him down with her, but her fingers just brushed the edge of his shirt. Her back hit the floor and she gasped, the breath knocked from her lungs. Her body ached from the impact but she ignored it, scrambling to get to her feet.
Too late.
“No!” Ara reached for her friend, just as the bird’s long talon’s collided with his face. The impact sent him back and Ara screamed as he fell, dashing his head against one of the stone pillars. The raven swooped in the air, releasing a strained bellow before returning to it’s position in front of it’s army of shadows. Once again, the raven was the ebony-haired girl Ara now knew to be Corvina.
Ara’s hands shook.
N-November…
She crawled over and placed a gentle hand on his head. “N-November? November…” She whispered. “November, please…”
The boy didn’t move.
Ara bit her lip, panic gripping her chest. She scanned his face, immediately wincing at the sight. Three long gashes covered the left side of his face; the middle one cutting right over his eye.
Light One, she prayed, Please don’t let him go blind in that eye…please!
Her eyes blurred with tears as she hovered above her friend, unsure of what to do. The cuts were bleeding now; a deep, ink-like red. She tried to wipe it as best she could with her hands but this only smeared it.
“November!” She said, her shaking hands finding themselves now behind his head, taking root in his curls. “November, please!”
Why wasn’t he moving!?
Her fingers jerked as they were met with more of the sticky substance that came from his face. But this was coming from his head.
Oh…Oh, Light One…
She extracted her hand from his curls and found it to be covered in blood. She let out a strangled cry. Light One, no!
“November! Get up! Don’t do this to me…”
Wordlessly, Ara ripped a piece of fabric from the bottom of her dress, immediately placing it against the back of his skull. She held it tight, hoping to stem any blood flow. He was still breathing; his chest slowly rising and falling. But…but what if…
Ara squeezed her eyes shut, allowing the last of her tears to leave streaks on her face. At this point, she didn’t care how she looked.
She could lose her best friend.
And it would be all her fault.
All her fault…
All….
All….
Her…fault.
Ara’s lifted her head, eyes focusing on the ebony-haired girl.
She was busy rubbing her hand, staring at it with an expression on her face that Ara couldn’t quite place. Confusion? Pain? Fear?
It didn’t matter.
No. What mattered was the blood that dripped from her fingertips.
November’s blood.
Gently, Ara set down November’s head, making sure the piece of rolled fabric was still in place. She stood, never taking her eyes off Corvina.
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#ProtectSebit did the spacing weird. As in non-existent XD
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#ProtectSebOoo, wonderful tension! The things authors love to create yet struggle to write.
It sounds good so far; the emotions seem balanced to me.
How would Ara respond to November being hurt? How did she want to respond to Riven?
At this point it looks like she’s about to explode, which could manifest itself in various ways depending on personality. If she isn’t one to come to physical blows, would she turn verbal? Does she rage or meltdown when hysterical?
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork@koshka ooh good question…
hmm…thinking about her right now…
(see…I have that “author” perspective where I see the character’s future self and how they are now XD) so in the future she’d be more up front and in control of her self, but right now, I believe she’s in such a state of turmoil in this scene that she’d lash out verbally.
But…due to the turmoil in her I think she’d catch herself and kinda…meltdown from both anger at Corvina and herself if that makes sense? But by that point Corvina would be on the offensive and Corvina’s a fighter and would definitely come back at her, which would spur Ara on.
(this leads to the shadow-essence in the catacombs, which is what Corvina is using to help her, go a bit awry, because they’re influenced by Corvina but they’re also influenced by raging unhealthy emotions)
I’m kinda getting a picture now!
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#ProtectSebIt’s rlly funny how just typing it out and working thru it can help sooo much lol
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#ProtectSebAnymore advice is still appreciated tho! Even for future reference lol!!! Cuz there’s conflict in…welp…all over the place in this series lol
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@godlyfantasy12. I think everyone else gave some perfect advice, and I LOVE what you have so far, but I will say this: Don’t forget to convey Ara’s body language.
Body Language is a wonderful tool in writing I think we often neglect. But don’t be afraid to show her body language. If she’s mad (as I’m sure she is. I would be. XD PFFT! I AM!!! No one hurts NOVEMBER! 😤) show how her body language shows her emotion, rather than just saying her emotion.
Maybe she clenches her fists.
Maybe her body shakes or trembles in rage.
Maybe…
But I’m gonna leave you to figure that out. 😉
Best of Luck, girl! I love what you have! 🥰🥰🥰
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So, like, here’s a small example from my own crazy writing. XD
“Sorry? Sorry? What do you think sorry means anymore! Who do you think you are coming to see us on Christmas of all days!”
Leon’s fists clenched. His breaths heaved. With every breath came a small, burning sting of pain in his chest.
“Do you even know what you’ve done!?”
Leon was angry, furious, hating. So, his fists clenched, and his breathing was heavy. Just think about what your body does when you’re angry, sad, worried, afraid, happy, etc. Base some of it off that. 😉
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