Help! I have a nameless poem!

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  • #10292
    Anonymous
      • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
      • Total Posts: 199

      You didn’t ask me, but I’ll give my opinion anyway… 🙂

      First off, I really like the poem! As far as a title, I personally think it would be cooler if you left “typewriter” out of the title. It makes it a little more like a riddle.

      #10293
      Ingrid
      @ingridrd
        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
        • Total Posts: 830

        @overcomer
        Great poem! I love it…Dust and Ink is a very creative name. 🙂

        A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)

        #10294
        Kate Flournoy
        @kate-flournoy
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 3976

          Second the motion, @jadamae. 🙂

          Daeus
          @daeus
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 4238

            I would agree that it would go better without the “typewriter”.

            🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢

            #10300
            Mallory O’Bier
            @overcomer
              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
              • Total Posts: 550

              @Ingridrd @jadamae thank you for saying so. Your praise encourages me to continue with poetry writing. This is one of the few poems I have written that I think is any good, but you make me want to edit the bad ones and see if I can’t make something of them after all. Who knows? 🙂

              As to the name, I’m so glad we’re all of the same mind! That makes everything easy:) @daeus , @kate-flournoy , @bluejay

              I’ve made up my mind to call it-(drum roll please;) “Dust and Ink.” I keep going to back to that one. It just harmonizes so well with my poem and keeps the mystery while still giving a hint of the contents. (Plus it makes me smile:) Special thanks to you Kate for picking a winner, and thanks everybody for your ideas and helping me to be sure about my decision. I owe you one! @writefury

              I’ll certainly ask y’all for help if I ever encounter another stumper, (you’re in for it now;) and please don’t hesitate to ask for mine. (Although I’ll warn you, I tend to second-guess myself from time to time;)

              Now I know the value of having a community of writers, and getting honest feedback, I don’t think I’ll keep all of my writing to myself anymore.

              I’m going to add one or two little last editing touches to my poem, and then send the finished version to Kingdom Pen. If they publish it, you’ll all be able to see it again finished and named then. (If you’re not sick of it by that time;)

              Thanks again guys, and if you want to leave more feedback, or post your own “nameless poem” here, go for it!

              #10301
              Ingrid
              @ingridrd
                • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                • Total Posts: 830

                @overcomer
                Hey, no problem! *beams* 🙂

                A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)

                #10314
                Sarah Spradlin
                @spradlin
                  • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                  • Total Posts: 189

                  Totally got the typewriter feels the first time I read the poem! It’s a really interesting poem, and it almost has a haunting kind of rhythm to it. Good job!

                  "When enemies attack your kingdom you don't flee you show them why it's your kingdom. With your lightsaber."

                  #10332
                  Lightningmouse
                  @lightningmouse
                    • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                    • Total Posts: 39

                    You could call it “Clickety-Clack”?

                    #10336
                    Rosey Mucklestone
                    @writefury
                      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                      • Total Posts: 467

                      I’d second @lightningmouse. Clickety-clack sounds cool. 🙂

                      #10497
                      Mallory O’Bier
                      @overcomer
                        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                        • Total Posts: 550

                        Thanks, @spradlin ! That was what I was going for when I wrote it . . . I think.

                        Really, I just sat down on the edge of my bed with writing materials and the intention to write a poem. No inspiration struck, so I looked around my room for it. My eyes fell on my typewriter. It’s a Remington Deluxe Model 5 that I had affectionately named “Clickety-Clack.” So I wrote “Clickety-clack” and rest just came to me. (But I assure you, this doesn’t happen often:)

                        The story isn’t specifically about my typewriter, however, since it is actually (barely) a post-war model, but it was definitely inspired by it.

                        Which is actually why “Clickety-Clack” was my first name choice for the poem, @lightningmouse @writefury , but I was forced to discard it when I realized that it sounded like it was a poem about a train, and not a typewriter. 🙁 That’s okay though, because I ended up choosing the name “Dust and Ink” which was suggested to me on here, and I love it:)

                        #10785
                        Mallory O’Bier
                        @overcomer
                          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                          • Total Posts: 550

                          Oops, I forgot to say, really cool profile pic, @lightningmouse ! 🙂

                          #10906
                          Lightningmouse
                          @lightningmouse
                            • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                            • Total Posts: 39

                            Oops, I forgot to say, really cool profile pic, @lightningmouse ! 🙂

                            Thanks 🙂

                            #11656
                            Mallory O’Bier
                            @overcomer
                              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                              • Total Posts: 550

                              Aa! You changed your profile pic! You aren’t who I thought you were, @lightningmouse

                              I don’t blame you. This new guy isn’t the real Spiderman at all, but an imposter! 😉

                              Looks like I’m gonna hafta write me own superheroes . . .

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