- This topic has 9 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 8 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Hello friends!
I come to you today with a critique request for the first chapter of my WIP (which can be read here). This particular excerpt has been giving me trouble for a while now, so I’d love to hear an outside source’s thoughts on it.
Also, I haven’t really shared my writing with anyone besides my husband for the better part of three years (it’s a long story), so I’m trying to be a little more vulnerable in that way. Hence, this topic. 😀
I’m not really looking for anything as detailed as a line edit, and I’m fully aware that typos probably abound. Instead, I would love to hear y’all’s general impressions of the chapter–whether or not it makes sense, if the characters seem interesting, thoughts on the worldbuilding, etc., etc.
Thank you guys in advance! Kingdom Pen is such a wonderful, uplifting community; I feel honored to be part of such a beautiful space. 😀
Title: The Drakesbanes
Genre: Fantasy
Warnings: Violence (nothing terribly graphic)
Word count: 2109
“Seven seconds till the end. Time enough for you. Perhaps. But what will you do with it?”
*raises hand in the air and waves it wildly* Oooh, oooh, pick me, pick me!! *jumps up and down* I’d be happy to read your first chapter, if you’d like! Now, I can’t promise I’ll be very quick (because, you see, I read at about the speed of a sloth, so if you’ll excuse me) but I will read it whenever I have the free time and give you feedback 🙂
@writerlexi1216 I would be honored for you to read it!!! Thank you so much for being willing to do so 😀 (And please, don’t feel rushed. It’s not like I’m on a deadline or anything, lol :P)
“Seven seconds till the end. Time enough for you. Perhaps. But what will you do with it?”
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@lewilliams Girl, that was AMAZING! So, yeah, it makes sense. I also like the characters–I can’t wait to find out more! And the worldbuilding is pretty good for a first chapter. Basically, I have nothing negative to say at all! Fantastic job!
Wow!!!!! 😃 @gracie-j phrased it perfectly!!! Don’t be shy to share at all–your style and the chapter itself is SO good!!!! ❤ The pacing and mystery and dialogue was all crafted incredibly well!!! Great job, keep sharing more please!!!!!
what we do in life echoes in eternity
-gladiator, 2000THIS IS AMAZING!!! *ahem* Sorry about the shouting, but I just finished the chapter and simply HAD to come here and say that I thoroughly enjoyed it! I’m already so connected to Tin and want to know what happens next! *claps* Very, very good job! (And, no, I don’t have any critiques. If you ever want to send more, I’m your girl for reading! 😉 )
I’d be happy to read it! (but I am a pretty slow reader). 🙂
@lewilliams Oo, interesting! I liked it a lot! Did find some typos but, y’know. I am quite interested to see what happens next.
Lately, it's been on my brain
Would you mind letting me know
If hours don't turn into days@gracie-j Aww, thank you!! Your comment made me smile quite big. I appreciate you taking the time to read it!
@nova21 Thank you so much!!! I really appreciate your kind words 😀 I’ll definitely post more in that case! (Once I wrangle my second chapter into some semblance of order, that is.) Thank you for reading!!
@writerlexi1216 Aw, thanks–I’m so glad you liked it <3 You’re definitely on the list for future readers 😉
@devastate-lasting Thank you!! And heh, I’m sure there were probably plenty. I’m a pretty lax proofreader 😛“Seven seconds till the end. Time enough for you. Perhaps. But what will you do with it?”
Of COURSE!!! 🙂 Yayayayay!! I’m looking forward to more (hint hint)!!! ^o^
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.