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I need help!
I’ve been writing a Cinderella retelling that is close to the story, including being set in a similar time. The problem is, I’ve just spent the last year writing a dystopian, action-filled, time travelling trilogy, and this is totally different.
I’ve written a total of two chapters, and can’t find a way to make it continue! I love the idea, and what I have written so far has been cool, but I can’t keep writing this lack of action.The general plot line is that Taryn’s mother gave her a precious pendant. Prince Lucinalt’s men stole it, and killed her mother to do so. The mother’s last words were telling Taryn to get the pendant back and to look after father.
The father remarries, and the typical Cinderella things happen. She’s a slave, etc.
They end up being invited to the ball, she sneaks in to dance with the Prince and steals the pendent from him. She runs away and then has to go into hiding as the prince is searching for the owner of the shoe.
Aaaand then nothing. I have no more plans than that…
So, does anyone have any advice on how to go about writing something like this?
Thanks guys!
Writer | Freelance Editor
Inspiration<I just realised I never tagged anyone, and am not sure who to tag, but I know two people who like fairy retellings and can see some people active.
If any of you (or anyone else) feels like helping please do!
@catwing @jessi-rae @kate-flournoyWriter | Freelance Editor
Inspiration<@jess-penrose this looks like a very solid idea. However, the one thing that’s sticking out to me is that you have no plot twists. There are no reveals— no changing of the scene or forcing existing scenes to be viewed in different lights.
One of the reasons for this is that Taryn has one goal to pursue throughout the entire story and it’s the right one, so of course she’s going to win.
And yes, we want her to win; that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying it’s too obvious that we don’t need to be worried for her. There’s no chance she could be making a mistake or getting in over her head. It all seems too safe and almost cookie-cutter to deeply invest us in the story.
We want her to win, but we don’t necessarily want winning to look like what we thought it did at the beginning. We want you to surprise us— change our minds; give us something better.
Maybe Taryn was mistaken in believing that the prince stole the pendant. Maybe it was the (secretly evil) fairy godmother who stole it and framed the prince, to ruin Taryn’s chances at a happy future by burdening her with an impossible quest. Maybe her well-meaning pet mice go and steal the pendant for her, but before they can tell her she waltzes off to the ball only to find that it’s nowhere in sight, and meanwhile the evil giant pumpkin captures the mice and gives the pendant to the king, who halts the ball and demands of the assembled company who owns this secretly ridiculously destructive weapon, and who brought it into his palace? And why is it a weapon? And why is it so important that Taryn keep it?
😛 😛 😛
Yeah. Those were really cheesy, with the possible exception of the first one. But my brain is fried tonight and that’s all I can come up with for now. I’ll come back if I have more thoughts. 😉*Cracks up at the examples*
Thanks @kate-flournoy. I can’t believe that I never considered a fairy tale to be the best place to have a plot twist. In fact… what if her pet dragon stole it… EEEEP! THANK YOU SO MUCH!Writer | Freelance Editor
Inspiration<- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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@jess-penrose I’m not very good at this type of thing, but I think that @hope-ann is good at this, though. I think that she just finished a series.
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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Oops, maybe her tag is @hope
@emily Heheh, I totally forgot that @hope-ann was a KeePer. I thought she was an OYANer… Oops! This is what comes of having a blathering cousin who swaps between raving about OYANer’s books and KeePer’s ones!
Writer | Freelance Editor
Inspiration<Yeah, @Hope’s definitely the one to ask if you have fairytale questions. 😉
@jess-penrose I am active and love fairy tale rewrites! Bonus points! anyway…
Cinderella.
So what you’re saying is she goes to the ball, but not because she likes the prince. Because she doesn’t and wants the pendant back?
I got a few things…
The prince knows what she looks like or she thinks he does. She needs her fairy godmother to change her appearance, besides the giving of the dress, carriage, etc. But the Fairy Godmother doesn’t want to. Perhaps she only likes to stuff for the romance. So Taryn has to get her to think she likes the prince.If you are troubling with the end then…
She has to hide from the guy who wants to kill the person who stole the pendant. and he wants to marry the person who the shoe belongs too. Perhaps he can grow tired and say, ‘If the owner of the shoe doesn’t come forward in such and such time I won’t marry them.’ time happens. the prince is still in agony as to who they could be. So he says he will give them what ever they want.
She comes forward and asks for him to give her… a nice place to live out her days away from him? Fairy godmother could come and be upset…How’s that?
IMMA KAPEEFER! Til we're old and gray!
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@jess-penrose Great! She’s your cousin?
@catwing Oooh, some more good ideas. So many of them… Thank you heaps! I definitely will use some of this. *nods* I could do a lot with that, particularly what you said for the ending. Thanks heaps!
@emily Wait, what? Nononononononononono. My cousin raves on about Hope’s books, and an OYANer’s. My cousin is NOT @Hope.
Writer | Freelance Editor
Inspiration<- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1330
Oh…oops: my mistake 😛 😛 😛
@emily Eh, don’t worry! That was really bad phrasing on my behalf!
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Inspiration<@jess-penrose You are very welcome. I think the fairy godmother being a romantic would cause issues especially if Terayn isn’t. Her fairy godmother can pester her about it.
Though what the pendant’s powers are can effect the story too.
Another thought… what if she has more than one fairy godmother? Or also a fairy godfather?IMMA KAPEEFER! Til we're old and gray!
@catwing Weeeeeeeell, currently she doesn’t have either… I hadn’t gotten as far as that. She has a dragon and a talking zebra though! But it could be fascinating to give her a troop of fairy godparent who argue a whole heap until she just wants to thwack them over the head…
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Inspiration<
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