Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › General Writing Discussions › DRAFTING FORUM!!!
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September 13, 2022 at 6:46 pm #117351
@elishavet-pidyon THANK U!! And yes she does!! I’m glad u like that little fact! I wanted her to call them something other then Mom or Daddy, and I just imagine her being so sweet and everything, it’s just fitting. Also with how they believe and serve God, it fits.
She calls her mom Ama (Ik in Hebrew it’s Ima but I like Ama and that is a way in other languages to spell mother 😊)
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebSeptember 13, 2022 at 8:00 pm #117356Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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@godlyfantasy12. OHHHH NOOOO!!!! (that’s why I copy everything off KP. XD I don’t trust it) But good thing is I’ve already heard his story. 😉
@elishavet-pidyon. Aww, thank you!!!! 😀 Ooh, they would! That’d be fun! Maybe I will add him…we’ll see. 😉 XDSeptember 13, 2022 at 8:35 pm #117361Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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BUCKY
“It’s impossible. There is absolutely no way. Steve died.”
“I didn’t…and everyone thought I had.”
“Yeah, for like, what? Two years? Then we figured out Steve had brought you to Wakanda and they put you to sleep for a little while. Steve’s been gone for thirty years now.” Tony replied with a scoff.
Bucky came around the table.
He wasn’t going to let Tony walk away so easily.
He gripped Tony’s arm.
Tony glared at him. “Let. Me. Go.”
“You live under a dictator. You barely have enough money to provide for you, Pepper, Morgan, and your other few kids.”
Tony pulled away. “Steve is dead, Bucky.”
“No. He’s not.”
Tony laughed. Reached for a cup of coffee. “Oh yeah? How so?”
Bucky leaned on the kitchen counter. He hated this. He hated this place. He’d only been out of cryo for the past two years. Living under an iron fist hurt all the innocent people who had nothing to do with it. The Avengers were scattered across the nation, and no one was able to stand for the defenseless.
And Bucky hated it.
“Tony…Steve’s alive. I saw him.”
Tony scoffed. Poured himself a cup of coffee. “Oh yeah? Then where is he? Do so enlighten me, James Barnes.”
Bucky rolled his eyes. “Can you cut it out with the sarcasm? Listen, I saw Steve. Face to face. Tony…Hydra has him.”
“Oh, captured? Well…he can get himself out. He usually always did.”
“No. That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh, so Hydra just had him for a minute? Sounds just like Steve.” Tony took a sip of his coffee.
Bucky crossed his arms. “Would you just shut up and listen for a minute!? Steve is alive, Tony. Hydra has him…” Bucky cleared his throat. “Under their control.”
Tony chuckled. “Yeah. Right. I’ll believe it when it’s actually believable. Steve, controlled? Besides, Steve’s dead.” He turned to leave.
Bucky gripped his shoulder.
Tony turned to him with a glare. “Tony…Steve is not dead. I saw him. I said his name. Hydra has him, Tony.”
“So? I’m sure he’s just tricking them. He’s normally pretty good at that, you know.”
Bucky tightened his grip on Tony.
“Ow. Careful Barnes. That’s your vibranium hand.”
“Sorry.” Bucky pulled his hand away.
Steve…standing right there…in black and red…Steve…standing there…taking anyone out that was in his path.
And Bucky…Bucky was next.
“Tony…I said his name.”
“Yeah, and he probably ran to you and hugged you and was like: “OH BUCKY! YOU’RE ALIVE!!!!”.” Tony cried, pretending to be Steve, hugging Bucky. Tony rolled his eyes. “You and Steve have always been close, after all.”
“No…” Bucky shook his head. To make sure his voice was steady…to stop tears…and to prepare himself for what he was about to say next. “I said Steve, Tony, and he…he looked right at me-”
“And yelled your name!” Tony guessed.
“No…he…he didn’t recognize me.”
Tony stopped. The cup of coffee slipped from his hand. Hit the counter, splashing coffee everywhere. “…What?”
“He…he didn’t recognize me…or even…even his name…”
“You didn’t recognize me Buck…I thought I had lost my best friend…and he was alive…and he didn’t even know me. Or himself.”
And now Steve didn’t know him.
“Bucky…I…I can’t do anything.”
“Why can’t you!? Have you all given up!?” Bucky exploded.
Tony took a step back. Held up his hands. “Woah, Barnes. Easy now. You don’t wanna hurt anyone.”
“Me!? What about you!? What happened to The Avengers!? When Steve was assumed dead did you all just give up!? When Pierce took over you all just decided to let the world suffer!?”
“You have no idea what we’ve been through!” Tony yelled.
“YOU GAVE UP ON EVERYTHING!” Bucky screamed. People were hurting. Cities were crumbling. Innocent men and women and children and…babies were dying…and The Avengers…sat around…and did absolutely nothing.
Bucky had good reasons to be angry.
“We didn’t have any other choice! Now I have to protect my wife and kids! What would you do if you were me!?”
“And just let your family grow up in a world where their lives don’t even matter to anyone else!? You’re just going to let your kids suffer in a world without any freedom!?”
“I did what I could! What have you ever done except murder people!?”
Bucky took a step back.
Over two dozen in sixty years.
Including Tony’s parents. Alex’s parents.
And so many…too many…others.
Bucky angrily swiped at the tears that threatened to fall. “I need to go.”
“Good.” Tony replied.
Bucky turned, walked to the front door, and stepped outside, closing the door behind him.
He ran away until he got to a secluded spot.
He sank to the ground beside the metal pole.
The world had changed so much…and not for good.
Steve, his best friend, was Hydra’s Captain. Captain Hydra. And Steve didn’t even know who Bucky was.
Bucky brought his knees up to his chest.
Buried his face in his knees.
And cried.
@queen_of_alvastia. @elishavet-pidyon. @godlyfantasy12. @koshka. Okay, so…another Marvel AU. XD I have way too many fanfics! XD XD XDSeptember 13, 2022 at 8:42 pm #117363Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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Why do I always enjoy writing from Bucky’s POV the most? XD Nvm, I know exactly why. 😉
September 13, 2022 at 9:52 pm #117365Ahhh, I love it!!! Especially with how it blends into your books and your character’s faith/ the allegory. It’s perfect!
So, something a little funny: in my books, I didn’t want them to call their parents just mom and dad either, (I actually don’t even call my own parents that. It’s Mama and Daddy to me.) and since my love of Hebraic culture/languages had infused itself so deeply into Eirtan, Abba and Imma felt about right…
But since I like pretending that Eirtan isn’t obviously Israeli inspired, I didn’t want to do Abba and Imma just straight. (although I love them… They were too obvious and didn’t blend with the Celtic and Baltic side of the Brother-Nations)
So, I’ve been thinking that in Yartass, children call their parents Papa and Mama, and in Eirtan they call them Appa and Amma(or maybe Omma, but I’m not sure. Thoughts?). Thus it could technically be just a swapping of letters….
Yeah, who am I fooling? It’s obvious.
But I like it too much to change it. XD
- This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by Elishavet Elroi. Reason: Where did my Direct Object go?
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
September 13, 2022 at 10:06 pm #117367@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon @godlyfantasy12 @queen_of_alvastia
Here’s the end part of Mikkel’s all-is-lost beat, right before dark-night-of-the-soul.
Fog swirled around him, penetrated by the dull sharpness of pain.
He tried to push it away, but it only gripped him tighter, searing his bones. Mikkel groaned.
Voices echoed through the caverns in his mind, punctuated by obnoxious beeping.
“He’s waking up.”
Beep…beep…
“Keep him still. I’m nearly closed.”
His eyes slid open for a moment, a sea of light glaring back at him. He let them fall closed again.
Beep……beep……
“I need more blood.”
Beep………beep………
Something pinched his arm, or maybe it was his leg. The fog was thickening, waves gently pulling him from this shore of pain.
……Beep…………
“Quinn! I’m losing him.”
The other voices grew louder even as they drifted away. Then darkness swept everything into nothing.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by Koshka. Reason: Repeated word
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkSeptember 14, 2022 at 8:36 am #117369Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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@koshka. MIKKEL!!!! 😭😭😭😭 It sounds really good! 👏
@elishavet-pidyon. That sounds great! 😄 Though I will point out that, though spelled a little differently, Omma is close to the German word for Grandmother, Oma. 😉 (which, btw, I don’t know all German, but I read a book once that had quite a bit of German in it, and then what those words stood for. Plus, I guess I know what Ich Bin Hungrig means. 😜) You can still use Omma if you want, I was just pointing that out. 🙂 Also, I don’t call my parents just Mom and Dad either. 😅September 14, 2022 at 8:44 am #117370Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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Also y’all, It’s actually gonna be just 15 years for that AU thing I wrote. XD I realized just how old Tony and The Avengers would be if it were 30 years…XD XD XD
September 14, 2022 at 12:44 pm #117379@freedomwriter76 @koshka YALL ITS ALL WONDERFUL!!! POOR BUCKY!!! AND MIKKEL!! SOB!!! 😭
@elishavet-pidyon love it!!! And thank u!! Glad y’all like it!!ALSO I WOULD LUV TO SHARE LYN’s BACKSTORY WITH YALL!! But it’s a bit complicated (A LOT COMPLICATED!!) sooo do y’all want me to?
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebSeptember 14, 2022 at 12:49 pm #117381@freedomwriter76 @godlyfantasy12
To be completely honest, that was revised first draft, but thanks!
@godlyfantasy12 I want to know!First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkSeptember 14, 2022 at 12:56 pm #117382Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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@godlyfantasy12. AWWW, THANK YOU!!!!! 😀 (oh, and y’all, the scene where Steve and Bucky see each other should be up today…I’m gonna work on it. *wink wink*) ALSO…I WANT TO KNOW HER STORY!!!! Maybe…I might regret it…XD XD XD
@koshka. You’re Welcome!!!!! 🙂September 14, 2022 at 1:04 pm #117386@freedomwriter76 Thanks, I’m glad you like it! I don’t know if I will go with Omma, although the German side and meaning wouldn’t really be a problem but yeah, I think I’ll probably just go with Amma… Maybe even have Omma be grandmother, but I’ll need to work that out…. Still in the rough draft of my plot so…. Yeah. XD
Oh, and that scene is most intriguing. I know practically nothing about Marvel, but I love the fanfiction you post.
I may share some of my fanfiction, but I’ll need to make sure the other Green Ember nerds don’t mind me completely changing the Royal family tree. XD
Yay!!! You like it! And of course. Yours is awesome!
Mikkel!!!!
I really want to read the part where he tries to kill himself. I want to read it SO BADLY!
And the part when the Cécile finds him….
And when they get the wire from…
Nevermind, I want to read the whole book. XD
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
September 14, 2022 at 1:14 pm #117391*Cackles*
I want to write that part so badly!
And that part may change a bit, but still…I know. I wish I could just have the book written, published, and in my hands so I could stay up all night reading it.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkSeptember 14, 2022 at 1:23 pm #117395Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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@elishavet-pidyon. You’re Welcome! 😀 Sounds awesome! And girl, don’t worry, I’m only in the rough stages too. XD I also hate plotting, so…XD XD XD
Aww, thank you! 🙂 Hehe, have you been stalking my fanfic? XD
OOH! EPIC! I’d love to see it. (even though I know absolutely NOTHING about Green Embers…XD)
September 14, 2022 at 1:32 pm #117402@freedomwriter76
Thanks!
Maybe I have… I stalk nearly everything on here, just a warning. (Like I said, I’m a Ranger. 😉 )
I might share it then! (It’s not completely dependant on knowing the books, I mean it should explain itself. [And since I know nothing about Marvel, so we’re even. Lol!])
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
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