Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › General Writing Discussions › DRAFTING FORUM!!!
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November 8, 2022 at 12:54 pm #121065
@freedomwriter76 I definitely think so! He’s mean! 😤 and I also read this scene!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebNovember 9, 2022 at 5:33 pm #121174Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@godlyfantasy12. Thank you for reading it! I didn’t know you had. XD
And yeah…he’s one mean villain. DX
November 10, 2022 at 11:02 am #121193Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@joy-caroline. @elishavet-pidyon. @godlyfantasy12. Y’ALL!!! I have another book blurb! XD I need to stop coming up with them, but I already really like this one. xD
Anywho, here y’all go! Me, connecting more of my books! XD
1944, and the second world war is still raging fiercely…
Himmler Baumann, a German Luftwaffe officer, is running a Stalag Luft camp, a Prisoner of War camp for captured airman of the Allied cause. He loves his country, but he only wants the war to end so he can go home to his wife and two young daughters. But as the war continues to rage, Himmler is pressured to separate Jewish POW’s from non-Jews and send them away from his camp to another one close by. His two older brothers lead the pressure, both of them in the SS. Himmler doesn’t understand why, but soon…he does. And soon, he’s on a mission to save and rescue Jewish Prisoners of War from the SS’ clutches.
But he didn’t even notice what was going on…how could he be so oblivious?
And how can God ever forgive him for doing nothing?
November 10, 2022 at 2:44 pm #121215Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1379
@freedomwriter76
*dies* How do you keep track of so much? I’m only writing one book and I have trouble remembering some stuff that happened in the first half of it 😅
which is super not good so don’t tell anyone!But I loooove that! kind of an Oscar Schindler story in a way!
November 10, 2022 at 3:36 pm #121221Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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@joy-caroline. …Joy, girl, I honestly have no idea. XD Like, I see all my books and I’m asking myself how I keep up with them. xD
Aww, thank you!!! It kind of is, isn’t it!? Didn’t think about that until now! XD Huh! XD
November 10, 2022 at 7:19 pm #121240Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@joy-caroline. @elishavet-pidyon. @godlyfantasy12. So…I wrote the first scene for Himmler’s book. Not the first scene in the book, but the first scene ever written FOR his book. XD
Anywho, there will likely be more, so this is only part 1. Edy and Camille are so funny. xD
“Where are your girls going to go, Himmler, now that…well…they don’t exactly…have their mother?” Felix asked, leaning back in his armchair.
Himmler glanced at his oldest brother. “I’m not sending them away yet…I’m going to give them more time.”
“But when you have to return to work at the camp…where will they go?” Hans asked, taking a sip of his drink.
Himmler shrugged, glancing at Edy and Camille, his precious daughters.
Edy giggled as Leo quietly helped her read a book. Camille was drawing with Reuben.
Himmler smiled.
He loved his girls more than words could ever express. They were so loving…sweet…innocent.
“Father, they can stay with us! Camille and Edy can do things with us!” Steffi suddenly cried, turning to Felix with wide eyes.
“That would be so much fun! Please, father…? It would be so much fun.” Annalise asked, begged, almost.
Something inside of Himmler protested.
“I think it would be good for them…having other girls around to learn from.” Eleanor mused, and, beside her, Hans nodded.
“I believe my beloved wife is right.”
“It would be good for them. Himmler, have your girls stay with us. They are very darling.” Frida said, and Felix nodded.
“I believe it would be a good idea, Himmler, for your girls to spend time with mine.”
Himmler tapped his finger on the rim of the glass in his hands before taking a sip of water.
“Edy and Camille would be completely happy here, I assure you. Annalise and Steffi would have much fun with them.”
Himmler turned to look at his sister-in-law.
Then his oldest brother.
And finally, his gaze went to his girls and his Jewish nephews.
His nephews who had been abused.
Just like he had been.
Himmler turned to face Frida again. “…I know where I’ll be sending Edy and Camille.”
“Here, hopefully.” Felix mused.
Himmler shook his head. “I’m sending them to stay with Lise’s parents…their grandparents.”
“They won’t have any girls there to spend time with…let them stay here, Himmler…besides, her parents obviously raised Lise the way she was…”
“And what is that supposed to mean, Frida?” Himmler asked, snarled, even. Lise was his wife. And she had been more loving and compassionate than anyone he had ever met.
“Think about it…Himmler…what she gave her life for…it’s…well…scandalous.”
“Dying for an innocent woman and her young children? That’s scandalous?”
Frida sighed and waved a hand in dismissal. “She gave her life for a Jewish woman and her children, Himmler, you understand that.”
“And what difference does that make?”
“She was…well…” Frida’s nose scrunched, “a filthy Jewish pig. They’re not worth the trouble Lise went through for them. But then again, she always seemed like a foolish girl. They were Jews…”
Himmler scoffed. Set his glass down with a thud. The room silenced. “So are your sons.”
“They’re not my “sons”, Himmler. I didn’t give birth to them.”
Himmler stood. “Well, you aren’t their mother then, so you have no claim to them. That means you have no justification to treat them the way you do.”
“Himmler, knock it off.” Felix ordered, standing, “you don’t speak to my wife like that. Leo and his brothers are her sons as much as they are mine.”
“That gives both of you the legal justification to abuse them then…doesn’t it?”
Felix’s eyes narrowed and he stepped closer, too similar to their father. “Himmler, you will not speak of that anymore.”
“You know it’s wrong Felix…you know that all of this is wrong…you just don’t want to admit it.”
“Your daughters would be good here…they would have fun with Annalise and Steffi.” Felix argued, changing the subject.
“I’m sending my daughters to Lise’s parents where they’ll have the right influence.”
“Come on, Himmler, it would be good for them to spend time with Annalise, Steffi, and even Frida…” Hans urged, also standing.
Himmler laughed. “You and I have a different definition of “good”, Hans. My daughters learning to hate and abuse? That’s a good influence to you?”
“They love Annalise and Steffi…and Annalise and Steffi love them…don’t you, girls?” Frida asked with a smile.
“Yes, Mutti, we love them very much!” Annalise and Steffi chorused.
Frida smiled and turned to the girls. “And Edy, Camille? Don’t you love your cousins Annalise and Steffi?”
Himmler turned to face his wonderful girls.
Edy looked up from the book Leo was still helping her read. “…No…they’re mean.”
Himmler bit his lip. Well…at least she was honest.
He saw Leo hide his smirk behind the book.
“Edy, that’s not a nice thing to say!” Eleanor cried.
“But they are…Mama always said to be honest…” Camille added, looking up from her drawing.
“Your daughters need to know when to hold their tongue.” Felix snarled.
Himmler turned to his oldest brother. Shrugged. “Frida asked them if they loved Annalise and Steffi. They answered her question.”
November 10, 2022 at 8:33 pm #121241Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1379
@freedomwriter76
First of all, I love your dialogue. It’s always soooo good and realistic and keeps me intrigued!
Second, Himmler and his brother’s interaction reminds me a good bit of Russell’s interactions with his brother Robert. XD (Eliza also has mean cousins.)
Third, I love Lise and I’m so sad she’s passed! :'(
November 11, 2022 at 8:51 am #121250Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@joy-caroline.
First of all, I love your dialogue. It’s always soooo good and realistic and keeps me intrigued!
Girl, STOP! XD You’re too sweet! But I’m glad you like it. Sometimes I feel like my dialogue isn’t good, even though I’ve had multiple people say it feels so realistic. Heh.
Second, Himmler and his brother’s interaction reminds me a good bit of Russell’s interactions with his brother Robert. XD (Eliza also has mean cousins.)
Ooh, fun. XD Yeah…Himmler is the only one I like out of the three, lol. xD But Hans is the most evil. And poor Eliza! I love her so much and so many people are mean to her. :'<
Third, I love Lise and I’m so sad she’s passed! :'(
I KNOWWWW!!!! :’C I’ve only recently made her and I was already sad when I decided she’d die, but, have no fear, for it all has a purpose, just like all of my characters’ deaths. =)
November 11, 2022 at 12:18 pm #121262@freedomwriter76 love it love it love it!!!!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebNovember 11, 2022 at 12:19 pm #121263When the girls said they were mean I was like YESSSSS GUUUURRRRLLLSSS!!!
UGH LEO AND REUBEN AND ALL THE BOYS MA HEART 😭 Leo’s smirk tho XD
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebNovember 11, 2022 at 12:48 pm #121269Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@godlyfantasy12. Aww, thank youuuu!!!! 😀
And yes, I laughed so hard when they said that! XD I was still laughing after I finished writing and had to explain to my Dad why I was laughing so much…XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD
UGHHHHH!!!! YESSSSSSSS!!!! THE BOYS! THE BABIES!!!! 😭😭😭 So glad their Uncle Himmler treats them equal, as does their Cousin Alec…I love both of them so much. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
And oh my gosh, YESSSSS!!! Leo hiding his smirk behind the book, I laughed at that too. xD xD xD
November 11, 2022 at 1:14 pm #121272Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1379
@freedomwriter76
And poor Eliza! I love her so much and so many people are mean to her. :'<
I feel this. 😅
Also HAPPY VETERANS DAY!!!!!!!!!! 🥳
November 11, 2022 at 6:51 pm #121306Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
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@joy-caroline. I know!!!! She’s just so sweet and adorable!!! I love her, and I haven’t even read your book yet!!! xD
YESSS!!!! HAPPY VETERAN’S DAYYYY!!! ❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙
November 15, 2022 at 9:50 am #121453Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@joy-caroline. @godlyfantasy12. Part 2!!!! 😀 I kid y’all not, I cried when I wrote the end of this part…*sobs*
Felix scoffed. “It still wasn’t polite.”
“They’re seven and nine. They’re still learning. Besides, would you rather them lie?” Himmler asked, his brows furrowing together in question.
“Himmler…calm down.” Hans retorted. Waved a hand in dismissal. “It’s nothing to get worked up over.”
Himmler slowly nodded. “You’re right…so stop making it a big deal. Edy and Camille are going to stay with their grandparents for a little while. And that’s final.”
“They need other girls to spend time with, Himmler, not just their grandparents… especially if they raised a woman like Lise.”
“Lise was my wife, Eleanor. And now she is in Heaven. If you would refrain from speaking ill of her, especially with my daughters around, it would be appreciated.” Himmler replied sternly. He turned to his daughters. “Edy, Camille, clean up please. You’ll be going to stay with Oma and Opa in a few days.”
“Okay Daddy!” Edy and Camille both replied in unison, quickly cleaning up.
“Himmler…listen to reason…” Felix urged, annoyance in every feature of his face.
No, not annoyance.
Anger.
Himmler put on his officer’s cap, making sure his hair was neatly tucked underneath it, and turned to face his oldest brother. “I am listening to reason, Felix. And reason tells me that my girls would be much safer and have a better influence at their grandparents than here.”
“They’ll have no girls to spend-“
“The decision is final, Frida.” Himmler interrupted, before turning his attention to his girls. “Come on, Edy, Camille, say your goodbyes. We’re going home.”
“Okay Daddy.” They both chorused again, beginning to say their goodbyes.
“This is a mistake.”
“They’re my daughters, Felix, and no one tells me what to do with them except God himself. And you’re not him.” Himmler snarled with a glare.
Felix’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “…Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” Himmler replied, about to follow his daughters, when Felix grabbed his arm.
He was forced to face his oldest brother, who glared at him with their father’s same, dark, pointed, dark blue eyes. “You don’t speak to me like that, Himmler…understood? I’m your older brother, and you’re supposed to respect me. What makes you think this would be bad for your daughters?”
Himmler stared his oldest brother right in the face. “…This is one good reason why. Because of you and your wife, that’s why I won’t let my daughters stay here. It would be harmful for them.”
“You better take that back.”
Himmler slowly shook his head. “Never. I meant every word.”
He glanced at Edy and Camille, who were watching with wide eyes, their coats already on. “Felix, let me go…my daughters shouldn’t see this.”
Felix chuckled. “Maybe they need to figure out the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows and that some people need to learn the hard way…like you.”
“This is exactly why I don’t want my daughters staying here.”
Felix scoffed. “It would teach them a lot.”
Himmler held his chin high, preparing himself for whatever was about to come. “And have them turn out like you? I’d sooner die.”
Felix’s eyes narrowed, and Himmler closed his eyes, waiting for and anticipating for the hard blow to come.
“Let him go! He just wants his daughters somewhere safe…you can’t tell him what he can and can’t do with his daughters, so let him go.”
Himmler opened his eyes and turned, as Felix let go of his arm.
Leo’s eyes slightly widened when he realized everyone was now staring at him, but he didn’t move.
“What was that?” Frida asked, snarled, even.
“We know exactly what he said.” Felix snarled, stepping away from Himmler.
Himmler glanced at his nephew; at the fear in his eyes that he was trying desperately to hide.
Edy was clutching to Leo’s leg, her face partially buried in it, and she looked up at Felix as he came close.
“…Leo…learn when to hold your tongue.”
“I haven’t said anything this whole time…but you can’t tell him what to do with his own daughters…” Leo whispered softly.
Felix’s eyes narrowed even more. “And you can’t tell me what to do.” He grabbed Leo’s wrist. “You don’t tell me what to do, you keep your tongue in your mouth where it belongs, your thoughts in your head, and you stay silent unless asked a question or spoken to. Do I make myself clear?”
Slowly, Leo nodded, gaze falling to his shoes. “Yes, father.”
“Good…” Felix whispered, before turning to face Himmler again, still holding onto Leo’s wrist. “Fine, you can take your daughters wherever you want. But don’t complain to us if it ends up being a bad influence for them and your daughters begin carrying traitorous ideas. Make sure your daughters are still learning the right things, Himmler, not lies.”
Himmler slowly nodded, taking Camille’s hand when she rushed over to him.
Edy was still holding onto Leo though.
Felix quietly sighed. “Besides…it looks like I have other problems to deal with…” He whispered, throwing a glare at his other sons, even though they had done nothing.
Joshua and Jakob both wrapped their arms around their brothers.
Himmler whispered a very quick, silent prayer for them, before turning his attention to his other daughter. “Edy…sweetheart…we have to go.”
“But I don’t want to…” Edy whimpered, even whined, holding onto Leo tighter.
She had, just a minute ago…but now…she probably felt like she had to stay. Or at least wanted to.
“Edy…sweetheart…”
“…No…I don’t want to…”
Eleanor raised an eyebrow. “Edy, did you just tell your father “no”? We don’t do that.”
Hans merely smirked, an arm around his wife. “Remember, Eleanor, Himmler hasn’t raised his daughters correctly.”
Himmler took in a deep breath to hold back the retort on his tongue. Was abuse raising children correctly?
What kind of freaks were his brothers, anyway?
They were just like their father.
Himmler slowly let out the deep breath and got down onto one knee beside Edy “Edy…sweetheart…why don’t you want to leave…?”
Edy looked over at him. “I want them and you, Daddy…”
“But Edy, you’ll see them soon…you’ll just be staying with Oma and Opa for a little while…”
Edy shook her head, tears coursing down his cheeks.
Himmler’s heart felt wrenched in two. Stupid war, keeping him away from his daughters. Stupid war, taking his wife away.
“Yeah Edy…we’ll see them again…” Camille whispered, walking over to her sister, trying to take her hand, but Edy pulled away, holding onto Leo even tighter.
“I don’t want to…”
“Edy, you and Camille will both go. You’ll both have so much fun…and you’ll come back…in only a little while…”
Edy held tighter to Leo, not convinced.
“Just make her, Himmler. Why must you try to convince her…?” Frida asked, annoyed.
“Force is the worst way to get kids to do things, if you haven’t realized that by now.” Himmler snapped, before turning his attention back to Edy. “Edy…you and Camille will come back soon…I promise…you don’t want to stay here…do you…?”
Edy sniffed, slowly shaking her head. “…No…”
“Then…why don’t you want to leave…?” Himmler asked softly, brushing a strand of his daughter’s hair out of her face.
Edy sniffed, more tears coursing down her cheeks, and slowly, softly, she spoke, “…I don’t want you to leave like Mama…”
Welp, both mine and Himmler’s hearts are broken…*sobs*
November 15, 2022 at 12:41 pm #121457Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1379
@freedomwriter76
EDYYYYY. *gulp-sob*
Felix is so evil dang. 😳
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