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@queen_of_alvastia. True that. XD XD XD Poor Maddock. *sniffs*
(I’m sure it was. 😂)
WELL, YEAH, I DO, BUT…he finally forgives Riker and still gets to live like, 20 more years before he dies…😢💖 And he gets to see his kids grow up and him and Riker are best friends and he goes to Heaven and everything! (Riker’s right by his bedside when he dies. 😭💖) He finally is reunited with the wife he lost! 💖💖💖💖 (I will most certainly tag you! 🥳🥳) Hmm…well…I don’t write ALL that time, since it’s about 20 years between their two deaths, but possibly about 1/2 to 1/4 of Freedom’s Fire takes place AFTER Aadelheide dies and Leon is out of the camp grieving.
For Leon, that looks like being more prone to anger, losing his faith in God, becoming an alcoholic, and just…destroying himself. 💔 But it all depends on how strong the relationship was and what kind of relationship it is. Because Maddock and Kerwin are friends, but Leon and Aadelheide were husband and wife. That distinction can make a HUGE difference in how it’s portrayed. If you have any specific questions, I’ll try to answer, but here’s a KP article on writing Grief that has really helped me out. 🙂
@freedomwriter76 *hugs him* I’M SO SORRY MADDOCK!!!
XDXD
Oh, I love that!!! AGH!!! 😥😭💔💖 (Man oh man poor Riker!!! *sobs quietly in the background*) That’s so sweet – sad but still sweet! (THANK YOU!! 😊)
Gotcha. *finds Leon and hugs him* POOR GUY!! But oofff that would be really hard on him…btw off topic (of charries dying) but what leads him back to God?
So I kind of wanted Kerwin’s death to lead Maddock back to God b/c he finally comes to see the God he turned his back on long ago is the One Kerwin wholeheartedly trusts in. Maybe there’s gonna be a scene with Kerwin forgiving the people who mortally wounded – and thus basically killed – him? IDK Anyway do you think it would be reasonable for that to lead M back to God? Or would it be more likely for the readers to expect that to just make him more bitter? b/c I definitely don’t want that to happen.
Thanks for the article!! I read it!! Ah yes, that is so helpful!! 😊😊👍🏻👍🏻
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@queen_of_alvastia. IF HE DOESN’T GET A HAPPY ENDING, I’M KIDNAPPING HIM!!! 😂😎
Aww, thank you!!!! 💖💖💖 (Yeah…poor Baby. 😥💖) Thank you! It’s bittersweet. 🙂 (YOU’RE SO WELCOME!!!! 😊😊😊)
Yes, very hard for him for a while. 😥💔 Good question! 😀 You see, Leon comes back to God when he realizes that he has lost literally everything. His wife, his faith, and even his kids. (THEY’RE ALIVE!!!! DON’T WORRY!!! But…his Mother-In-Law (Aadelheide’s mother) takes them away to live with her because Leon, with the hatred and alcohol, is in no state to raise them…😥😭) And when he realizes that the hatred he’s holding onto is doing nothing to hurt the people that hurt him…he’s only hurting himself and his family. Plus, around Christmas, God speaks to him and Leon…in all the pain…all the hatred…finally…surrenders.
He still doesn’t have all the answers, but what he does know is that God is in control and God has a purpose for even the darkest moments. 💖
I like your idea! Besides, everyone’s reaction is different. When Maddock sees Kerwin’s forgiveness…it could make him wonder how in the world Kerwin could forgive like that, leading him to finding God. 🙂 Like, how, when Leon forgives Riker, it brings Riker to Christ. (Not that my writing’s anywhere near perfect…it’s just the only example I can think of, lol. XD) So, like, here’s a portion of that scene to kinda show what I’m getting at. (and to make you cry over Leon and Riker, wink wink. Lol. No. That’s not why. XD)
“I came to…apologize. One last time. I’m going to turn myself in. I’ll take whatever punishment they give me. I deserve it. I won’t blame anyone when I go to Hell, but,” Riker took in a deep breath, his gaze fell to the floor, “I came to apologize. I don’t expect nor deserve your forgiveness, but I’m sorry. I did horrible things to you and so many others. I can’t apologize to many of them because they’re dead. But Leon, I’m sorry. I’m so…so sorry.”
Leon blinked.
Riker was apologizing…again?
A surge of emotion flowed through Leon.
Sweet and wonderfully…peaceful.
It took him a moment.
It was strange to feel after all this time.
But it was one thing.
Forgiveness.
“It’s okay Riker. I forgive you.”
Riker’s gaze shot up. “…What?”
“I’ve killed people too. After the war…I basically hunted after Nazi’s. I killed many of them. Blood stained my hands too. But I know the one person that can wash them clean. And God has washed my hands clean. You’re not the only one that’s made mistakes. I accept your apology, Riker. And more than anything, I forgive you.”
Riker’s knees hit the floor. “I hurt you. All the things I’ve done…”
“I forgive you for all of it.”
Riker looked back up at him.
Tears full of guilt rolled down his cheeks.
“Your wife is dead because of me!”
“I know,” Leon got down onto one knee, met Riker’s gaze, “but I forgive you.”
Riker stared at him. Then…he covered his face with his hands.
And wept.
You’re so welcome! 😊👍🏻
@freedomwriter76 Hey he gets saved! That’s happy ending right? *keeps hugging Maddock* *looks at you worriedly*
You’re SO welcome girl!!! *hugs Riker too* I love bittersweet stories though (part of why I read Les Mis XD Also Where the Red Fern Grows and Warden & the Wolf King….If you don’t know for any of the above DON’T ASK! HUGE SPOILERS okay?)
*leaves Riker to go hug Leon for the zillionth time* WOAH! POWER PUNCH!! That is seriously powerful and I am not even kidding!!! (Ha ha yeah, I’ll admit you scared me for a minute and I thought man, I’m going to have to kidnap his KIDS TOO! But you didn’t kill them *good job*) And I love the fact that it’s around Christmas….that’s so sweet!! 💔💔😥🥰
YAY GOOD JOB LEON!! 🥰🥰😊😊
Oh good, I’m glad that works! (I’m also thinking of changing the setting for this story, instead of a medieval village, it’s going to be sort of a Northern Iceland Viking world this time – so the raiders that destroy M & K’s family are kind of like Viking raiders? OFF TOPIC sorry! XD) (Well, your writing is still amazing) Oh no of course that’s not the reason why….
It worker though*sniffles as I read*RIKER & LEON!! Aaaaahhh!! I just love that scene!!!! 🥰🥰🥰😭😭😭 *heads into tissue fort* I want to go and HUG them both!!! *cries into a fluffy pillow*
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@koshka @godlyfantasy12 @freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon
PART 2: (Verity & Payton)
Verity cocked her head. They’d been walking for a while but at least Payton seemed to have a purpose. This path was gorgeous and her cup of happiness was bubbling over. Life, just now, was wonderful.
“Hear that?”
“Yup. Running water. That’s what I was aiming for.”
He strode ahead and Verity trotted behind, her whole expression one eager question mark.
“But why? I’m not thirsty. Are you thirsty? And I don’t think that’s exactly sanitary. I mean animals could have come up and – “
“VERITY!”
“What?”
“We all know what you mean!! You don’t have to spell it out, okay? And no, I’m not thirsty.”
He stepped over a log. Verity leaped on top. Arms wide for balance, she placed one foot in front of the other on the round, moss-covered surface. A beam of sunlight trickled through the leaves and caught the red-gold highlights on her curls.
“Verity COME ON!”
She scrambled down, and racing ahead, slammed right into his back, toppling them both to the ground.
For the third time….
“VERITY!!!!!!”
“What?”
He brushed the traces of the forest floor off his person.
“Nothing.”
But he’d reckoned without Verity. She was a girl with a purpose and wasn’t going to let herself be brushed off.
“No really what?”
“You don’t want to know.”
She stepped in front of him, planted her feet and crossed her arms.
“If you don’t tell me, I’ll go and tell EVERYONE that they can call you PATE for the rest of your LIFE!”
This girl!! His hands clenched and unclenched.
“Are you upset?”
“No I’m perfectly happy with my present circumstances.”
“Umm should I have rephrased that? Why are you upset?”
Payton let out an entire pent-up breath in a single huff and rolled his eyes skyward.
“Guess.”
“Oh is it a game now? Like 3 guesses?” She gave a little bounce and pressed her knuckles against her mouth. “Are you hungry? Some people get grumpy when they’re hungry!”
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@queen_of_alvastia. (Hehe…love the scene. 😂😂😂)
FINE…I guess I don’t need to kidnap him…FOR NOW!!!! 😂😎
Aww, thank you! It’s encouraging to hear that someone thinks my characters stories are powerful. 😊 (Yep. I couldn’t take them from Leon too! 😥🥰) And aww, thank you! I thought it would be sweet! 💖
YEAH!!! GO LEON!!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 (Ooh, I like that! 😍 Aww, thank youuuu!!!! 🥲🥰🥰🥰) Are Maddock and Kerwin friends? I can’t quite remember their relationship. Sorry. 😅
AWWWWW THANK YOUUUUUUUU SOOOOO MUCHHHHHH!!!!! 😭😭😭💖💖💖 (that’s not even the whole scene…just part of it. The most important part. 😉)
@freedomwriter76 XD Thanks! lol
YAY!! B/c I really do have a soft spot for him…I mean, I love Kerwin more, but Maddock comes next! 🥰🥰 I just hope you don’t come after me and kidnap him when Kerwin dies….
They are – even if you have a knack for making me rush to the tissue fort XD Love that though! (Nope never ever ever!) IT IS!!! *happy sigh with tears still in my eyes*
*high fives Leon* (If I’m not hugging charries, I’m usually giving them high fives for some reason lol) (Aww thank you it just popped into my head randomly lol! You’re welcome!!!) ha ha welll…..They’re ummm…..brothers…..Kerwin is Maddock’s *gulp* younger brother. *quickly steps in front of Maddock and Kerwin just in case they get kidnapped*
*super hugs you* YOU’RE WELCOME!!!! *hands you a tissue box* (There’s more?! Aaaah!!!!😥💔🥰😳 👈 my variety of reactions)
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@freedomwriter76 @koshka @elishavet-pidyon @ava-blue @whalekeeper @queen_of_alvastia @keilah-h @really-anyone XD SOOO anyone on?? I’ve FINALLY written some tonight (and hoping to write some more!)
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I’m sitting down to work on some writing stuff right now, if you’re still on! 😀
@joy-caroline noice! Also, in case ya didn’t know what this forum is for, it should say on the first page. I think XD!
I SHALL SHARE MY WORK THEN XD
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Yes! Totally share! And I read the first page since I was confused at first lol.
ALSO!! I’ve posted a scene on here already that comes before this one (Tho not right before this one, there’s at least one scene in-between them lol) in case u wanna read it first. And others have also shared their own scenes too!! So feel free to check those out, and share and write ur own. Sometimes we even write ON KP (thats what it was made for as well) so…yea!
Also this scene is as of yet unfinished XD
POV: November
Beat: Arabella’s Dark Night Of The Soul (There are multiple scenes in this beat)
Pain.
Darkness.
Scratching…
Suffocating…
Burning.
His head was on fire.
No, wait…
He was on fire.
His fingers clenched, grasping weakly for any source of stability. Where was he? Why was everything so dark?
A deep weight seemed to settle on his chest and he heaved. Pain pounded into his skull, dulling his senses. His ears were ringing and his stomach clenched with every breath. He tried to swallow, but found his throat swollen.
He choked, panic gripping him.
He couldn’t breathe!
His eyes fluttered open, wincing as they were hit with a fiery beam of light.
Too bright…
He tried to turn away but his head ached with a fervent passion and his mind felt lit with fire. He gasped, his abdomen racked again with the sensation. It had at least forced his lungs to release the breath it’d been holding.
His mouth opened, questions pouring from his mind, but no sound emerging from his lips. He let out an audible groan as his face muscles contorted. The left of his face felt like it had been stabbed, and…
He blinked.
What was wrong with his eye?
Everything was painted in a blur; nothing more then splashes of color, but…one eye seemed…worse then the other.
His mind spun.
What…?
Something played at the edge of his senses. A dull sound. A memory. A voice. Like the faint ringing of a bell, or the laughter of a loved one. As quick as it came, it was gone, leaving November scrounging once more.
He grimaced, trying again to turn his head, only this time to be stopped by something warm and soft. Gentle. Heat sprouted from his shoulder and he squinted, trying to force his eyes to focus on the object that had stilled his movement.
Faintly, he could make out movement; a swaying form of brown that towered over him.
As the ringing in his ears became a dull hum, he found that faint sound playing once more with him. And this time, he refused to let it leave. He reached out his shaky hand, wordlessly pleading for whoever was toying with him to free his fuzzy mind. To make it all stop.
Please, make it stop.
“N-November?” Soft skin touched his own.
“A-Ar-“ November said.
“Shh, shh. It’s okay, November. It’s okay.” She let out a breath that sounded like a mix between a sob and a laugh
His vision cleared slightly; adding face to the voice. Those same beautiful brown eyes, and that long brown hair that November knew belonged to his best friend greeted him. Her eyes crinkled as she smiled, hands shaking as she held his.
November frowned at the snail-tracks and red-rimmed eyes that marred her usually bright face. He weakly moved his hand out of her grip and touched her cheek.
“Cr-Crying…?”
Ara pursed her lips, eyes large as saucers. She let out a laugh, sounding more like a blubber. “Y-Yes. I-I…” She wiped at her eyes hastily, though it didn’t do much, as more tears kept coming. “I thought-I thought…” She sucked in a breath, looking away. She shook her head.
“Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Are-are you okay? I mean…obviously you’re not but…I mean…I just…” She was shaking, that much was obvious, even with November’s less then desirable vision. His brows furrowed, which caused his face and head to ache.
“Ar-Ara?”
“I…I just…” Ara looked at him, brown meeting blue. November’s ears grew red as he stared, the fog in his mind slowly dissipating. Heat rose to his cheeks as Ara continued to study his face. She sighed, once again taking November’s hand in hers, breaking whatever spell he’d been under. He swallowed, releasing the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
“I…I don’t know what to do, November.” Ara’s hand shook in his, and he felt his heart fall at the despondence in her voice. “I don’t know what to do anymore…I don’t think I ever did.”
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Woah! That scene made me curious what is going on in context! I hope November is okay… also, the dark night of the soul is one of my favorite beats to write.
@joy-caroline so if u want context, the last scene I shared would fill ya in! I believe it’s on the first page
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Cool! I’ll go back and read that one!
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