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Yeah, I haven’t exactly mapped out what the underground actually looks like, so I’ll have to figure that out at some point. I guess I figured that since it was from Amara’s perspective, I would have it to where Kirah knew Keith pretty well, and trusted him, at least for the most part. But yeah, I definitely need to look at that more, because I didn’t really show the whole conversation with Keith (Mostly because I wasn’t sure what questions he would ask to back her into a corner like that). These are the perks of having a first draft XD
No worries! Yes, that’s the liberty of first drafts!
Yeah, imagine if our charries figured out that they were being written into these situations? They’d be so mad. But hey, they have to go through a low point to get to a higher point, at least usually, so really they should be thanking us for making their lives more exciting. 🤣🤣
I know right?! Sometimes I wonder when the inciting incident is going to happen in my life… (the mind of a writer is loopy at times. 😉 )🤣🤣
He must increase, but I must decrease.
@felicity YEAHHH SAME…..I wonder that too.
Or i’ll see an airplane in the sky and think “Oh, I SO wish that was a spaceship or something….”
I don’t even have to be the main character of the story! (probably better that I’m not.)
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
I love this! Its very intriguing, I can’t wait to read more! And I just love the names you chose for everyone, im a name nerd XD.
"does anyone have any good ideas?"
"Oh yeah, but none for this"Interesting, I’m really liking this so far! So a few questions I feel are becoming relevant to the story as a whole:
Are the dragons inherently evil, or are they simply a corrupt nation? What is their motives in invading Illura?
I was going to ask about who the dragonborn was, but then reading through some previous messages, I learned that it was Amara. I wanted to ask if it was Tali because only dragons were shown in the gem, then suddenly a human appears, but it also makes sense that Amara is it because it would be a little more obvious to Jade. Does that mean Tali is the shifter, or is that alluding to something else, and the idea of her identity as one of the chosen is a red haring?
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
Thanks! Yeah I love naming characters SO much
Dragons are not inherently evil. In fact, later there end up being a group of good dragons. Their motives are to bend the prophecy their way- I don’t know what the exact words will be, but it would be to where there could be multiple outcomes, one being the three chosen causing the dragons taking over (whether willingly or accidentally, or when they are forced), and the other being the “king’s fall” (Blackhorn, if I end up using that phrase). Dragons and humans, while separated by the fog, have quarreled in the past.
The actual idea with the gem is that Blackhorn just assumed only dragons could be seen, but Kirah learned different when she looked and saw Tali. *SPOILER* Tali didn’t actually sell the necklace. She stole the coins she gave Brycen, because the *source of her “tight spot”* XD demanded it. And *OTHER SPOILER* Tali is not actually going to be one of the chosen.
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
On second thought… Maybe Tali should be one of the chosen. Ooooo… You have given me inspiration XD
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
Haha, lol! Yeah, It makes sense that Amara would be the dragonborn because of Jade, but it seemed very likely that you were alluding to Tali, because only dragons were seen, then suddenly a human, thus, that human must be draconic in some way. I think I would personally prefer the latter if I was writing this, but I think it works either way, and you could intentionally have one of the characters (probably Kirah) assume that Tali is the dragon born, then leading to the assumption that Amara must be the shifter, and now having false conclusions can lead to lots of interesting narration.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
Yeah!
I think I’m gonna go with Tali as the shifter.Brycen’s POV can then be sort of misleading, because you might expect it to be him, but idk.
@keilah-h @thearcaneaxiom @felicity @esther-c @janellebelovedpig @awsumfaith @anyoneHere’s the next part of the Dragonsbane Society!
Brycen met Aiden at the Badger just as the clouds tinted blue. His friend sat on a stool outside of the entrance, which stood on a metal slab so that it wouldn’t sink in the sand. He waved Brycen over.
“Where’d you lose your cloak?”
Brycen shrugged. “Gave it to Tali. Hers was all torn up.”
Aiden grinned. “I’m sure it was. You’re a real honorable thief, you know that?”
“Shh!” Brycen glanced around, hoping his cheeks weren’t turning red. “Someone’s gonna hear you.” He scowled. “Look, she needed help, so I helped her. Isn’t that enough for you?”
Aiden laughed. “For me? Of course. I’m just here for the food.”
Brycen scratched the back of his head. “About that… I kind of accidentally left the necklace with Tali.”
Aiden gawked at him. “You what?”
“But she’ll be here soon,” Brycen continued, ignoring him. “I’m sure of it. If there’s any such thing as an honorable thief, it’s Tali.”
Aiden sighed and leaned back. “If you say so. But I’m not betting my meal on it.”
“Betting your meal on what?” Aiden flinched as Tali walked up to stand beside Brycen. “I hope we didn’t give up our food for this.”
Brycen shook his head and smiled at her, shooting a quick glare at Aidan. “No, we didn’t. I’m glad you could make it.”
Tali smiled back. She kept glancing behind her, like she thought someone would appear there if she looked away for too long. “Oh…” She reached into his cloak’s pocket and drew out a handful of coins. “This is what I got for the necklace.”
Brycen let her drop the coins into his hand. “Thanks, Tali. I forgot I left it with you.”
She nodded, staring at the ground. “You’re welcome.”Aiden stood and yawned. “Ready for the Bored Badger?”
Brycen nodded. “Ready as ever.”
The three of them walked into the tavern. Men sat at the counter at the front, and at tables along the walls and down the center. Torches lined the walls, and a musty smell filled the building. Tali wrinkled her nose, her eyes darting around wildly. Brycen watched her. She wasn’t usually like this, and the tavern didn’t seem like a good reason to freak out. The Bored Badger was true to its name- the men hardly looked up at them as they walked in, and they all talked in quiet whispers.
A man with a scar across his nose appeared behind the counter, scowling. “What do ya want?”
Aiden didn’t skip a beat, unfazed. “Three greymoons and three flaretail scorpions, roasted.”
After Brycen handed over most of the coins, the man sneered and turned around, disappearing through a door at the back. Brycen took a seat at a table on the left side of the building beside Tali, while Aiden sat across from them. Tali fidgeted with the cloak while Aiden tapped his fingers on the table.
“I’m starving,” he said. “Mmm, I never eat this good.”
Brycen nodded, but he wasn’t paying much attention. “Tali, are you okay?”
She blinked up at him. “What? Oh, yes.”
He poked her shoulder. “You don’t seem okay. What’s up?”
Tali shrugged. “Like I said, I’m just in a tight spot. I got caught up in something I shouldn’t have.”
Brycen nodded slowly. “Alright.” Whatever it was, she obviously didn’t want to talk about it. Aiden was oblivious, and Brycen decided to match his behavior. Acting was a necessary skill for a thief- at least, one that didn’t want to be caught. And Tali was among the best performers in Greyward. But today? He could tell she was trying; her face kept smoothing out before shifting to the next expression. But she could hardly meet his eyes without flinching.
“So, Tali,” Aiden said, leaning back in his chair. “I haven’t seen you for a while. Did you find a better spot for thieving?”
She shrugged, frowning. “Something like that.” Her hands fidgeted with Brycen’s cloak, wrapping it tighter around herself. “This is a nice distraction, I guess.”
“A nice distraction from what?” Aiden asked. Brycen would have kicked his friend under the table, but he was curious, too.
Tali glanced at the door, and her eyes flashed with something like anger. Brycen couldn’t help thinking that something about her was dragon-like when she glared. Not evil, of course, but piercing all the same. “A situation I’d rather not be in,” she finally replied.
“Well, that’s about as cryptic as you can get,” Aiden said. “Mind explaining?”
Brycen stomped on Aiden’s foot. “You don’t have too, Tali. Aiden just doesn’t know when to quit.”
“No, it’s fine,” Tali said, her mouth a thin line. “I would tell you, I really would. It’s just something… Something I have to figure out on my own.”
Aiden stuck out his tongue at Brycen. “See? No harm in asking.”
Brycen furrowed his brow. “Figuring things out. Not dangerous things, I hope?”
“May- No,” Tali said. Brycen raised his eyebrows and she sighed. “Look, I can’t pull you into this. It’s too much.”
“For Greyward’s most honorable thieves?” Aiden asked, grinning. “I don’t think so. Spill it.”
“Maybe later.” Tali studied them for a moment, clearly avoiding Aiden’s eyes. She seemed unnerved by the cocky thief. Brycen hoped he could catch up to her when they were done at the Badger and talk. Maybe then she’d be willing to tell him what was bothering her.
Their food arrived, and Aiden made a great show of waving around the flaretail’s barbed tail. Finally he stopped, and after Brycen dared him, plopped the barb in his mouth after snapping off the dangerous point. Flaretails were named for two reasons- the killer poison present before it was cooked away, and the sharp, heated taste when eaten. Aiden’s face turned red mere seconds after swallowing the tail, and Tali and Brycen laughed as he proceeded to down all three of their greymoons, sweet drinks that glowed and rippled almost like they were alive.
“That,” Aiden said, “was a very bad idea.”
Tali shook her head. “It took you this long to figure that out?”
“No,” he replied, grinning. “But I figured I would try it anyway.”Finally, when they all were done eating, Tali stood from her chair. “I’d better get going.”
“Wait,” Brycen said, jumping to his feet. “I’ll walk you back.”
“I really don’t think-” Tali paused. “You know what? Fine. But Aiden stays here, and you can’t come the whole way.”Aiden nodded, stabbing a fork at a large beetle crawling across their table. “Fine by me, most honorable thieves.”
Brycen and Tali walked out the door, back out onto the gray sand. The sky was a dark blue now, near black, and many of the merchants had set out candles. The moonlight reflected in Tali’s eyes as she turned around to face him. For a moment, all was still. Then Tali’s eyes flashed gold, and she took a step back. “I’m sorry, Brycen.”
He knitted his eyebrows. “For wha-”
The world around him went dark, and all was black. He yelped, startled, and swung out his fist, unsure of what to do. It hit something and he heard a cry. “Tali? Tali!” he yelled, and spun in a slow circle. “Are you alright? What’s going on?”
“She’s fine,” came a voice, deep and masculine. “But you’re not.”
Something struck the back of his head, and he fell to the ground.
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
Oooo, great cliffhanger! I’m excited for more
"does anyone have any good ideas?"
"Oh yeah, but none for this"Yes, I agree, awesome cliffhanger! Can’t wait to see what happens next! 😀
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Looking good! I don’t think your alluding to the idea of Brycen being one of the chosen here, other than the fact that the the story is told from the perspective of the other two chosen. And using the description of draconic for Tali would further increase suspicions that she’s the dragonborn, that being now two implied indicators. Are these intentional red-harings?
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
Somewhat, I guess. At first I wasn’t sure who would be who, so it kind of just happened. But the main idea of the shifter thing is not like a shape-shifter, but of her ability to shift reality in someone’s mind. Her eyes change when she’s doing it, making them appear more dragon-like, at least in color.
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
@keilah-h @thearcaneaxiom @felicity @esther-c @janellebelovedpig @awsumfaith @anyone
Here’s the next section on Jade. It’s sort of small.
Jade wrapped her cloak tighter around herself, shivering in the bitter wind. The trip to Brekya would be a long one, but it seemed necessary. Dragon scouts were there, dragons that had used some kind of masks to make their way to Illura, through the fog. She knew for a fact that it had rarely happened before, and that desperation had driven some humans to make the journey to Brimstone.
That had been possibly the worst- and maybe somehow the best- decision of her life.
Jade pulled up her sleeve. It was cold, but she needed to see the mark. On her upper arm, there was the scar, burned in by flaming dragon claws. Three claw marks, black against the rest of her skin, and she could still hear the screams that came from Sirah and the others. With a shudder, she yanked her sleeve back down.
Anger bubbled up inside her. But this rage wasn’t for her. It was for what those cruel monsters had done to Kyrah. What they had done to her daughter. And what they had done to Aquira’s child, wherever they were. Jade felt the chain at her neck. This necklace hadn’t seen the light of day for a very, very long time. And for good reason. Tentatively, she brought it out, the green gem sparkling in the light of the rising sun.
She couldn’t stand to be afraid anymore. She couldn’t hide Amara forever, and Finley knew that for a very long time. He’d challenged Jade more than once, and she’d pushed him away out of fear. Fear that the dragons would return, that they would all be in danger. That was why she had built up the Dragonsbane Society. But with the younger generations coming up, she had to make her move before they were exposed to Blackhorn.
While she understood very little about the magic of dragons, she knew it still did exist, though it was rather limited compared to in the past. In fact, for a while their magic was strong enough to bring them through the fog. But for whatever reason, their power was dwindling, and it was time for humans to fight back. She knew that some of that very magic lay in the mark on her arm. It allowed the dragons to use the gem to see her. She could only hope Kirah might see her, too.
Holding the gem out from her face, she scowled into its surface. “Blackhorn, if you’re there, I’m done running. I’m not who I was back then. And if you think you can swagger your way into Illura, you’ve got another thing coming.”
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
Very interesting! Is Kyrah different from Kirah?
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
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