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I know this is probably a bad time, with most of you either doing NaNo or working on your own Rooglewood entries, but I’m finally ready to ask for beta-readers for my novella, and I thought I’d ask here just in case somebody happened to be free.
The Colour of Life is about 12,000 words, and fits (somewhat loosely) in the historical fantasy genre, being set in Russia near the time of the Bolshevik Revolution. But there’s magic involved, so it isn’t exactly historical fiction. I’m looking for feedback by the end of November, mostly on two things:
1. Theme. I’m not sure what the story’s theme is, and in order to bring it out better, I kind of have to know. Fresh eyes will be a great help, and having a few different people giving suggestions could help me see my way through it a lot better than I currently do (Confession: I’m stumped. It could go several ways and I simply can’t see it. But I know the trusty KeePers will have ideas.)
2. It seems a bit rushed. I have all the important scenes in there, and all the ways I can think of to insert slower scenes would be putting in unnecessary fluff. So again, fresh eyes to tell me what it’s lacking, or if there’s stuff I’m glossing over that needs expanding on, would be a lot of help.
I don’t even know who to tag, since it seems like everybody’s doing NaNo except me and Hope, and everyone’s also doing the Rooglewood contest and wants to be fair. I also haven’t been on here at all lately, because of school. Yay for papers on Dante and Sophocles! but not so many cheers for not having time to write stories.
You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation. (Isaiah 12:3)
- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
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@northerner, I might be able to do it. Could you give me a little synopsis?
@Shannon:
Alyona inherited her black hair, pale skin, and red lips from her mother, who died giving birth to her. Her father remarried to give his daughter a mother, but when he dies, her stepmother, Akilina, indentures her to her (Akilina’s) brother, who keeps a curiosity shop. Alyona has only her mother’s portrait, painted by her father, left of her old home.
One day someone brings in a set of nesting dolls with pictures of saints on them. Alyona is up late that night, reading, and at the stroke of midnight the dolls turn into seven little men. They befriend her and sometimes, when she’s up late, help her with her work of sorting through donations and mending the broken ones.
When a young doctor, who spends many of his days saving those wounded in clashes between various factions in the civil unrest shaking the country, comes into the shop to buy the portrait of Alyona’s mother, she tells him it is all she has left. He has already paid for it, but he promises to cherish it, and says he will let her come visit it, if she wishes. They strike up a friendship.
All seems to be going well, but Akilina learns from a magician imprisoned in her mirror that Alyona, far from being broken by her servitude, is thriving, and this is more than the jealous woman can bear. It will take more than a set of wooden nesting dolls, or a penniless young idealist, to save her now, when a woman scorned is thirsty for her blood.You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation. (Isaiah 12:3)
- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 859
Alright, @northerner, I think I can do it. However, I don’t know if I will be able to get it done by the end of this month. I can try my best. Also, one more thing. I have done some editing for @cloudy, but I have never beta-read anything before. I will do my best, but just warning you that I have little or no experience.
Ooh, cool @northerner! I actually would read it. I could try, but I’m doing NaNo and beta-reading Catwing’s book, so I don’t know how much I would actually get done. How about I give it a go?
(P.S. Snow White retelling, love it.)
ENTP, Aether-borg Hero with cape obsession and fascination with swords.
https://forums.theaetherli@Shannon, hopefully you won’t be my only beta, so don’t worry too much :). And practice is a good way to get better at these things.
You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation. (Isaiah 12:3)
- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 859
Sounds good @northerner. My little sister @emily might be able to help too. Unfortunately, she hasn’t done a ton of beta-reading either, but she still might be helpful.
Hey, @Northerner, I’m not doing either NaNo or Rooglewood. I can beta-read for you.
INTJ ➸Your friendly neighborhood mastermind. ➸https://thesarcasticelf.wordpress.com/
@Shannon, little sisters have a way of reading over people’s shoulders anyway. . . ask me how I know.
@Aislinn-mollisong thank you!
@Ethryndal, much appreciated!If you ladies would like to get me your e-mail addresses without waiting for someone at KP to be a go-between, you can use the Contact form on my blog here: https://ofdreamsandswords.wordpress.com/contact/.
You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation. (Isaiah 12:3)
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@northerner Did somebody summon me from my sleep? JK. But I would be happy to help if you still need it!
Ugh, I’m so sorry @northerner, but I just don’t have time. I’m constantly fighting with my college classes for any writing time as it is. I wish I could help–and truthfully, I really want to–but I gotta be smart. I don’t have time.
Good luck, though.
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
@Northerner Righto.
INTJ ➸Your friendly neighborhood mastermind. ➸https://thesarcasticelf.wordpress.com/
@northerner I’d love to beta-read it, as I’m not doing NaNoWriMo or anything else! (If you still need betas!)
👰🏻🦊💥
ENFJ-T. Arbitrary. Greet at your own risk. *trips on a rock*@that_writer_girl_99 I understand. What year are you? What’s your major?
You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation. (Isaiah 12:3)
@lady-iliara Thank you!
I think that should be enough, unless anyone else really wants to do it. Thanks, guys!
You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation. (Isaiah 12:3)
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