Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › General Writing Discussions › Another SCENE!!!! Any thoughts y’all?
- This topic has 269 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 1 month ago by Anonymous.
-
AuthorPosts
-
July 16, 2022 at 12:02 pm #113420
@freedomwriter76
Yeah, I understand that. I
maybe doing the same thing, perhaps even killing a MC, the father of another MC. And maybe another MC’s best friend.*Weeps*
AND THEY’RE MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS!!
But that is a nice(ish) way to do it. I love Riker writing Leon’s son.
If the best friend character does, he goes in his sleep/coma, but he and the MC (and the friend’s father😭) are able to talk before he blacks out. The other one gets executed.
And then there’s a scene where the executed one’s friend realizes he escaped death and his friend didn’t.
*Wail*
By the way, I think I’ll have to agree with @koshka and say that Leon is either my favorite of the two, or even with Riker.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
July 16, 2022 at 6:04 pm #113427Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@elishavet-pidyon. Aww, so sad. *sobs*
Aww, I’m glad you love Leon too. 😀
July 16, 2022 at 6:07 pm #113428Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@gracie-j. Yes they DID!!!!! SO BEAUTIFUL! From HATE TO FRIENDSHIP!!!! *MELTS* YES, THE BROMANCE!!!!!
AHHHH ME TOOOO!!!!!
SORRY! It is sadly necessary. *cries* It pushes Elias forward and makes him realize what he’s fighting to do and the brother and sister he needs to survive for. It pushes him to encourage Alan more and trust God more even when the world looks dark, and more than anything, somehow, someway, it strengthens Elias’ faith. (wow. Is this twenty-one year old kid(i had to change his age, sorry y’all for any confusion. XD) the most faithful character of all? XP)
YESSSSS!!!!! *HUGS HIM WITH YOU*
July 17, 2022 at 3:43 pm #113487Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@freedomwriter76 YES I ADORE IT!!!
Wow. I totally get it, and I LOVE how developed your character arcs are!!! Go, girl!!! 😀 (Haha, maybe so!)
July 17, 2022 at 4:51 pm #113495Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@gracie-j. <3
Awwww, thank you so much! 😀 I’ve never really thought about Arcs before Kingdom Pen, and then I was like: “So…that’s what I’ve been doing this whole time?” XD (Yeah. Maybe so!)
July 17, 2022 at 6:08 pm #113502Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@gracie-j. GIRLLLLL!!!!! I FINISHED THE TRILOGY!!!! THOSE BOOKS WERE SO BEAUTIFUL AND THE MOST SATISFYING BOOKS I’VE READ IN SUCH A LONG TIME!!!!! I LOVE THE PAXTON BOYS, THEIR WIVES, AND THEIR PARENTS!!!!! THOSE BOOKS WERE PURE BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN HISTORICAL ROMANCE!!!!! Now I’m just sad that they’re over. *sobs* Clay was awesome. I must say that he is my second favorite. But…I still love Wyatt the most. XD
July 17, 2022 at 6:08 pm #113503Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
But oh, out of the women, Leah was most definitely my fav. 😉
July 17, 2022 at 6:14 pm #113504Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
I’m so biased towards Wyatt. XP
July 17, 2022 at 9:14 pm #113509Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@freedomwriter76 You’re so welcome! Haha, yep!
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM SOOOOOOOO GLAD YOU LOVED IT!!!!!!!!! YES IT IS JUST PERFECT!!!!!! Haha, Wyatt for the win! I mean, who can resist a guy who serenades the love of his life in Spanish and makes up bread metaphors??? XD
July 18, 2022 at 11:07 am #113520Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@gracie-j. EXACTLY!!!! Wyatt was just so….oh, just so amazing! XD
July 18, 2022 at 12:46 pm #113528@freedomwriter76
*blinks back tears*
LEONNNNNNNNNNNN…
*ahem*
POOR ELIAS! AND RYKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AGHHHHH, MY POOR BOI…
*sobs*
There were so many beautiful points brought out in Ryker’s letter. I loved it!
July 18, 2022 at 1:59 pm #113533Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@lydia-s. I knowwww!!!! *cries*
Aww, thanks! I thought it would be fitting for him to send Elias the letter. But I’m gonna cry!!!! AUGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
July 18, 2022 at 2:09 pm #113537Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@freedomwriter76 I KNOW!!!!
July 18, 2022 at 2:13 pm #113538Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@gracie-j. @elishavet-pidyon. @koshka. @lydia-s. @godlyfantasy12. I’ve been writing this scene. There’s gonna be more to it, to show what happens next, but this is what I have so far! Here is Ezra! 😉
Separation and division. Kurt had said this would come.
“All American prisoners step forward.”
No one moved.
The German officer gave the order again.
Raised his eyebrows when no one stepped forward.
They were going to separate the Americans.
Then separate the Jews and blacks from everyone else.
But Ezra had to give everyone else the courage to step forward by being the first. He began to step forward.
But Luis stepped forward first.
Others followed.
Luis smiled as the officer raised an eyebrow. “Sorry, Chap, but we’re all Americans here.”
Ezra stepped forward. “Luis…”
“Hush.” Luis snarled.
Everyone began to file forward.
Americans.
Frenchmen.
Englishmen like Luis.
Russians.
To all these men who Ezra didn’t even know…he would be eternally grateful.
The officer’s face went red as a beet.
He yelled out orders at the German soldiers.
The Germans were FURIOUS.
Yoshio nudged Ezra’s side. “Told you we’d help you, Curtis, and Jameson, didn’t we?”
“Never thought y’all would take it like this or this far.”
“Eh. It’s not that far.” Luis responded with a wink.
A pair of jackboots hit the dirt.
Loud and painfully familiar.
“All Americans, are you? You organized this one well, didn’t you? Well, we know you’re not all Americans, and you need to follow orders. Why don’t we…handle this then?” Kurt smiled that cruel, malicious, prideful smile that could send a chill up anyone’s spine. “We know exactly who organized this one.”
Two guards stepped into the large group of prisoners.
They gripped Ezra’s biceps and half-dragged and half-carried him over to Kurt.
“Did you organize this idiocy?” Kurt asked right after Ezra saluted him.
Ezra glanced at his friends.
Jameson.
Luis.
Curtis.
Yoshio.
They had set this up.
Ezra turned back towards Kurt. “Yessir. I did.”
Kurt grinned. Turned towards the prisoners. The guards grabbed Ezra again.
And held him tight.
“See, men? There is a streak of disobedience in First Lieutenant Roberts. However, disobedience is not allowed in this camp. The true American soldiers will step forward immediately and break into three groups. Jews on the left. Blacks on the right. And every other soldier in the middle.”
No one moved.
Kurt chuckled.
“Well then. Seems as if all you Americans have that same streak. Nothing a little bit of persuasion won’t fix. Obey my orders, or else, sadly,” a pistol cocked. “someone is going to pay the price.”
The cold barrel of a luger pistol pressed against Ezra’s forehead.
Ezra stared Kurt straight in the face.
If now was his time to go, then he wasn’t going to go out with fear and cowardice. But Kurt grinned.
He knew when he had won over the men.
Jameson and Curtis were the first to step forward.
Jameson to the left.
Curtis to the right.
And more followed.
Stepping to the left if they were Jews.
The right if they were blacks.
The others all gathered in the middle.
This wasn’t okay.
This was wrong.
This was horrible.
On so many levels.
Ezra couldn’t just let them do this. He twisted, pulled, pushed, and forced the guards’ hands away. Before Kurt could even turn, Ezra ducked, went under, and tackled Kurt to the ground. Kurt reached for the pistol. Ezra held his arm down. “Get off of me, half-breed. Can you not realize when you’ve been…defeated?”
A shot rang out and searing pain traveled from Ezra’s left shoulder. Kurt kicked him, knocked him off, and Ezra’s back hit the ground with a thud.
A groan escaped his lips.
His shoulder was red and sticky.
The world was already beginning to spin, and Ezra almost didn’t see Kurt standing over him, breath heavy, with his finger on the trigger.
“Say goodbye, Roberts.”
Ezra stared up at him. God, forgive me for killing Yoshua and the rest of the crew. It was my fault. I’m so sorry. Ezra thought.
And the world faded to black.
July 18, 2022 at 2:31 pm #113541Anonymous- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@freedomwriter76 AHHHHHHHHH OMGOSH!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO SAD AND BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.