Another SCENE!!!! Any thoughts y’all?

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  • #112097
    Anonymous
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      @gracie-j. @elishavet-pidyon. @starshiness.

      Okay Y’all, so…just for a little bit of an idea…I have a picture of a guy that literally looks almost exactly like how I imagine Riker. I don’t know who this guy is, but he’s Riker now. XD Anyways…here’s the picture:

      Also…another small song that makes me think of Riker and his Dad is Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi. I don’t know why…but it does! :>

      #112098
      Anonymous
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        Ooh, and another song that really makes me think about Riker is No Hopeless Soul by Stephen Stanley. Love that song so much. <3

        #112100
        Elishavet Elroi
        @elishavet-pidyon
          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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          @freedomwriter76

          Wow. Where did you find that picture?! It’s a good one in it’s own right, and I’d have to agree that it resembles Riker perfectly.

          From the names of those songs, they would work very well!

          You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan

          #112105
          Anonymous
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            @elishavet-pidyon. Girl, I honestly don’t remember where I found it. XD I think I just looked up something like “SS Officer pics” and looked through pictures until I found that one. XD But it looks EXACTLY LIKE Riker, so…it was a wonderful find. 😀

            Yes, the songs fit very well. 😉

            #112107
            Anonymous
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              @starshiness. @gracie-j. @elishavet-pidyon. Hey Y’all…based on what you have read from my books, what age group do y’all think would be best? My Mom has said probably 10+ for my books, but she also said it depends on the maturity level. Because at 10(maybe a little older though), was reading books and novels about the Holocaust, but not every kid is mature enough by then.

              And Freedom’s Fire, the one I’ve been sharing scenes from, IS about WWII, The SS, and The Holocaust…so, what do y’all think? 🙂

              #112111
              Anonymous
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                @gracie-j. @elishavet-pidyon. Alright y’all, I’ve…got another scene. This one is for my Civil War WIP. No one else has read this scene except for me, so…y’all get first reads! 😉 Anyhow…it’s pretty short, more religious, I guess, than the other scenes I’ve shown y’all so far, but…I still like it. Here it is: (I was rocking out to Guilty by the Newsboys when writing this. XD)

                Adrian pressed his bare chest against the rough wood. Each breath becoming heavier as each lash became harsher.

                Son of a rich merchant. Brother of a plantation owner. Pastor. A Christian who helped slaves escape slavery.

                And he was being treated as a common criminal for thievery.

                And that was only based on an assumption.

                He hadn’t taken anything. Except for slaves that he led to freedom. The stealing had only been a distraction.

                Another lash forced Adrian’s world back into focus. His father. His brother. Sister-in-law. Countless members of his church. More of his family. All watching. With no attempt to even stop it.

                He wanted to be with them. But also, he didn’t. Another lash fell, and Adrian held in a scream. If he were to be honest, he didn’t want to be that pastor anymore.

                He didn’t want to preach messages that made everyone feel good inside; he wanted nation-shaking, world-changing, convicting messages of truth.

                No, getting whipped wasn’t ideal. And he wanted to be closer to his family. But compromising on the truth wasn’t an option.

                “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?”

                What did it, indeed? There was a simple answer.

                Nothing.

                Maybe his father. Maybe his brother. Maybe his extended family. Maybe they had gained much of the world.

                But in the end, what did it matter?

                “For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake.”

                Yes, following Jesus meant being willing to suffer. Whether that be judgement from others, being an outcast, or even persecution as Adrian was now experiencing, suffering was a simple part of the Christian walk.

                But there was another promise to that too. “Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven…”

                Another lash and a scream escaped. But then Adrian grit his teeth. Held on tight. And clung to that promise.

                He had helped innocent people. He had helped slaves escape to freedom. He was suffering for that.

                “For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.”

                Adrian clutched tight to the pole as another lash fell.

                You had to do your best. No one was perfect. He was a pastor, but sometimes…he still struggled with trusting God.

                But he had done his best to help those who needed it. God noticed. Adrian wasn’t perfect. But he had tried.

                “…as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.”

                Adrian’s legs buckled.

                He slid down the pole.

                But still.

                He smiled.

                God was still in control. Even as Adrian suffered another lash, he was still in control.

                Still watching.

                Still holding.

                Still comforting.

                Still healing.

                Still working.

                “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

                Not just good things.

                All things.

                Adrian looked up at the skies above.

                “God, help me to follow and trust you.” he whispered.

                Another lash met his back.

                And Adrian’s world faded into blessed darkness.

                 

                My poor boy… :'<

                 

                Oh, and the scriptures I used are these, in order: (All ESV, since that’s the version I USUALLY use and will use for my books.)

                Mark 8:36

                Philippians 1:29

                Matthew 5:12

                1 Peter 3:17

                Matthew 25:40

                And finally…Romans 8:28.

                Just wanted to let y’all know. 😉 (let’s just say I had to really think about what I wanted and had to research Scriptures for just this one scene, lol. XD)

                #112112
                Anonymous
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                  @starshiness. @gracie-j. @elishavet-pidyon. Ooh, and this one for my beautiful boy Riker. (That everyone is falling in love with, lol. XD) This one takes place right after his mother dies. :'< It’s so SAD! DX But also…beautiful, in a way. I may add more to this one, but for now…this is what I got. 🙂 (Ooh, and his wife is in this one!) Oh, and remember how I mentioned he could play the Violin? This is when he picks it back up. 😉

                  “I don’t think I can play it.”

                  “Why not?” Iris asked softly, her hand resting on his forearm.

                  “There’s so much…it brings up. It used to help. It used to distract me from all the pain…but not anymore. Now all it does is remind me of it.”

                  Iris smiled softly. Patted his arm. “Then you don’t have to play…it’s okay.” She gave him a brief kiss.

                  Riker had been honest…kind of. But he hadn’t told her the whole truth.

                  There it sat on the couch in it’s case. A reminder of a childhood full of pain.

                  Abuse.

                  Neglect.

                  Tears.

                  Grief.

                  Fear.

                  But even still, Riker began to walk over to it. Maybe it stemmed from guilt.

                  But he at least owed her one more song.

                  She had loved him when no one else had.

                  She’d wiped away his tears when everyone else refused.

                  When everyone else told him to suck it up.

                  To be a man.

                  When everyone else said they were a sign of weakness.

                  Riker unlatched it. Opened the case.

                  And looked inside.

                  He paused. He couldn’t. But he had to.

                  For her. For her memory.

                  And maybe…even for himself.

                  Now that Jennie was dead…once Iris went home…he would have no one left.

                  He at least needed to play one song.

                  Only one.

                  Maybe that would fill the emptiness inside his chest.

                  Riker grabbed the bow.

                  Then the violin.

                  She had cheered him on when no one else cared.

                  Jennie had supported him when no one else believed in him.

                  When everyone else said he’d never accomplish anything.

                  When everyone said he’d never be anyone important.

                  When everyone said he’d never be anything but a mistake.

                  She had believed he could do anything he set his heart to do.

                  When everyone said that no one would or ever could love him, Jennie said there would be a woman that would love him no matter how imperfect he was.

                  Riker glanced at Iris.

                  He found exactly that.

                  He tuned the violin he hadn’t touched in years. He could do this.

                  He had to do this.

                  For his mother.

                  For his wife.

                  For his kids.

                  For his sister.

                  And for himself.

                  He brought the violin up.

                  Rested his chin on it.

                  And played.

                  Every note…every tone…coming together…flowing…as if he’d never put it down.

                  He closed his eyes.

                  Memories surfaced.

                  The worst days.

                  But those faded.

                  Into hugs from his mother.

                  Into Jennie’s reminders of hers and God’s love.

                  Into all the fun days with Angelina during their childhood.

                  Into his wedding day.

                  Into the births of all four of his kids.

                  Riker played.

                  And played.

                  His mother’s favorite song came alive once again.

                  He moved his arm.

                  Rubbed the bow against the strings.

                  Notes flowed.

                  And tears fell.

                  #112120
                  Starshiness
                  @starshiness
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                    @freedomwriter76 I pity the person who would dare hate on Riker XD

                    Ahhhhhh girl you are melting my heart with these scenes they are so beautiful and full of EMOTION my goodness I absolutely love that last scene sm 😭. OH BUT THE ONE WITH HIS DAD THO THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!

                    That picture is just perfect!!

                    Hmm I’d say probably 12+?

                    • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Starshiness.

                    I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.

                    #112122
                    Anonymous
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                      @starshiness. Thank you so much! <3

                      Ugh, girl, same. If anyone hates on Riker…girl…I’m gonna do something! XD (JK, lol. XD XD XD)

                      I love writing emotional scenes, evidently. It’s most of what I seem to write. XD But I can’t write action for the life of me. XD XD XD I’m guessing…did you read Adrian’s scene too? 😉

                      #112123
                      Starshiness
                      @starshiness
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                        @freedomwriter76 😊

                        XDXD

                        Haha see with me it’s just the opposite. I can write some pretty good action scenes but my emotional scenes… ehhh they need work 😂. I did!! Actually was just writing out a response to that haha. Girl, that scene is DEEP! And so meaningful! I love getting a peek at Adrian’s inner turmoil, his questioning to see if the pain is really worth it, and the resolution: it absolutely is! The Bible verses you used are spot on too. The fact that you made the wanderings of his mind realistic is HUGE to me (I’m big on realistic characters and events lol). So YES I LOVE IT!!

                        I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.

                        #112124
                        Starshiness
                        @starshiness
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                          (Oh, and Guilty is an a w e s o me song, great choice of background 😉)

                          I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.

                          #112125
                          Anonymous
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                            @starshiness. (Yes, GUILTY IS AWESOME!) I would probably agree with 12+. Thanks! 🙂 Everyone loves the one with his dad as well. I think everyone just loves Riker though. XD Nothing wrong with that. There’s multiple reasons he’s my favorite. *wink wink* XD

                            Ooh, nice. Then you and me would probably make a good team in writing something, lol. You write action, I write emotion. XD

                            I’m glad to hear that you like seeing a peek into Adrian’s world! I will never write a character that’s NOT realistic. Non-realistic, perfect, character cut-outs are so fake! I can’t relate to a perfect little always angelic character. My characters have flaws and struggles, and that’s what, in my opinion, makes them so much more human. A lot of people say that creating characters seems to be my strong suit, and everyone that’s read my stuff has always said that the characters feel so relatable. And thank goodness, cause that’s what I’m trying to do. XD

                            #112145
                            Anonymous
                              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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                              YOU ARE SO WELCOME!!

                              *sobs* I respect that…but it hurts. XD

                              (OOOH YAY!!! You’re gonna love ’em! :D)

                              #112146
                              Anonymous
                                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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                                OKAY OKAY OKAY.

                                First of all, that picture is perfect.

                                Second, that first scene? GIRL I GOT CHIIIIIILLS. I love it.

                                Third, AAAHHHH MY BABYYYYYYY!!!! He’s so precious!!!! *hugs him hard*

                                #112152
                                Anonymous
                                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                  • Total Posts: 1789

                                  About age range…ten-year- old me could totally handle it too, but not all ten-year-olds are at the same level as we were. XD So I’d think about two things: (1) the ages of your main characters and (2) how your book will be marketed. Whether a ten-year-old could read it or not, would you want your story classified as middle-grade (think I Survived series by Lauren Tarshis, The Boxcar Children, or The Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson)? Or would you rather it be YA (like Melanie Dickerson’s books) or even adult (like Sarah Sundin’s)? Of course, the classification of your book won’t determine the age of every single reader (I for one read middle-grade books at age seven and adult books at eleven), but it will give potential readers an idea of how your book is written.

                                  As for character ages, most of the time, you’ll look for readers about the same age as your characters – y’know, tween readers for your tween characters and college-age readers for your college-age characters and senior readers for your senior characters…because there will be more connection between the reader and the character if they’re about the same age. Again, that can differ from time to time, but that’s always a good thing to keep in mind! 😉

                                  I hope that helps! 😀

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