Alpha/Beta Readers for My Dystopian WIP

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Viewing 15 posts - 46 through 60 (of 108 total)
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  • #69411
    Jenna Terese
    @jenwriter17
      • Rank: Chosen One
      • Total Posts: 2522

      @kaya-young yeah, I’d love for you to read it! ๐Ÿ˜€ You’ll probably have to request access.

      I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
      www.jennaterese.com

      #69484
      Kaya Young
      @kaya-young
        • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
        • Total Posts: 272

        @jenwriter17ย  I love it! I didn’t request access because I had a really hard time getting access to Rochellaine’s WIP, but I really enjoyed what I read so far!

        I love Rin! She seems super spunky and awesome!

        What you did with the cross was really cool, and a great way to put Christianity into it without feeling forced!

        The only thing I would change is to vary your sentence length. Like use some more commas and combine a few of your existing sentences… ๐Ÿ˜‰

        The Kingdom has been torn asunder...
        http://www.encircledbygrace.com/

        #69488
        Kaya Young
        @kaya-young
          • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
          • Total Posts: 272

          @jenwriter17ย  ย Well, apparently I was able to request access to your second chapter, so just so you know, I’m who requested access. ๐Ÿ™‚

          The Kingdom has been torn asunder...
          http://www.encircledbygrace.com/

          #69493
          Jenna Terese
          @jenwriter17
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 2522

            @kaya-young Okay, you should have access now.

            I am super glad you like it! I like Rin too ๐Ÿ˜›

            Yes, I tend to have choppy writing. I’ll work on that. Thank you so much for reading it! ๐Ÿ˜€

            I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
            www.jennaterese.com

            #69711
            Jenna Terese
            @jenwriter17
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 2522

              @seekjustice Hi! Just letting you that I have chapter 2 of my WIP ready for you to read, if you’d like. I posted the link several days ago, but I thought I’d tag you again just to make sure you got it (Skredder was having trouble with posts not showing up). So here’s the link!

              https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m8V_wWL-Owutzcuu3Cyk6r1JhJ9iH8XQX1JQcV8kHqM/edit

              I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
              www.jennaterese.com

              #69970
              Jenna Terese
              @jenwriter17
                • Rank: Chosen One
                • Total Posts: 2522

                @seekjustice @skredder @kaya-young (if you want to) I have my third chapter ready to read! You don’t have to do spelling/grammar checks, just so you know. ๐Ÿ™‚ You probably have to request access.

                https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LjQVVp5BoRrCco9m9ZJQhOTv1V9Yo1W25ztoHu9jF_U/edit

                I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
                www.jennaterese.com

                #69985
                Skredder
                @skredder
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 527

                  @jenwriter17 Sweet! Can’t wait to read it! I just requested access. ๐Ÿ™‚

                  "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

                  #70040
                  Skredder
                  @skredder
                    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                    • Total Posts: 527

                    @jenwriter17 Now that was a cool chapter! I really, really enjoyed that one. The way it read felt really smooth to me. I loved it! ๐Ÿ˜€

                    "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

                    #70071
                    Jenna Terese
                    @jenwriter17
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 2522

                      @skredder aw, thank you for reading it! ๐Ÿ˜€

                      I do have a question though: Jane said that I was struggling with telling instead of showing, how do you think that was in this chapter?

                      I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
                      www.jennaterese.com

                      #70092
                      Skredder
                      @skredder
                        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                        • Total Posts: 527

                        @jenwriter17 I’m not the best person to ask this. So, um, based on what I read, I think there’s is still some telling, but I think it’s better than before. Again, I am not the best person to ask this. I could be completely wrong either way. ๐Ÿ™‚

                        "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

                        #70129
                        Jenna Terese
                        @jenwriter17
                          • Rank: Chosen One
                          • Total Posts: 2522

                          @skredder Okay, thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

                          I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
                          www.jennaterese.com

                          #70168
                          Kaya Young
                          @kaya-young
                            • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                            • Total Posts: 272

                            @jenwriter17ย  I had kinda forgot to tell you, but I loved chapter 3! Skredder is right, it flowed really well. ๐Ÿ™‚

                            I can’t wait to find out what happens next!

                            Also did I mention how much I really just love Rin? ๐Ÿ˜‰

                            The Kingdom has been torn asunder...
                            http://www.encircledbygrace.com/

                            #70169
                            Jenna Terese
                            @jenwriter17
                              • Rank: Chosen One
                              • Total Posts: 2522

                              @kaya-young Aw, thank you! ๐Ÿ˜€ I’m so glad you like Rin ๐Ÿ™‚

                              I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
                              www.jennaterese.com

                              #70263
                              Jenna Terese
                              @jenwriter17
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 2522

                                @seekjustice @skredder @kaya-young (if you want to again ๐Ÿ™‚ ) Here’s chapter 4!

                                https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ro5uxtEZf1RuXDWL4lLi9Y2_Pr_acN8KG7glu5YiDdI/edit

                                I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
                                www.jennaterese.com

                                #70267
                                SeekJustice
                                @seekjustice
                                  • Rank: Chosen One
                                  • Total Posts: 3365

                                  @jenwriter17

                                  Cool! Hopefully we’ll get more internet in two or three days and then I’ll be able to comment properly on your chapters!

                                  INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

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