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Well, I wasn’t sure if this would go in the “characters” topics, the “short stories” topics, or somewhere else, but this is a section of story me and my brother are “writing.” (I put it in quotes because the story is actually more the two of us sorta role-playing back and forth, or making the scenes with Legos, because my brother loves making up stories but hates writing them down. We have a huge, extensive timeline, cast, and even a bit of mythology for the universe we’ve created)
This is the first part of a scene I NEVER saw coming. One of my favorite characters gives himself up to stop the huge war that’s been going on. It was prophesied that a long winter would come, but first a final sacrifice would end the era of bloodshed. This charrie blames this entire war on himself, and decides if he was the one to start it, he’ll be the one to end it. The scene was originally told from others’ perspective, but I’ve put it from his POV just because I wanted to see what that’d be like.
Note, this is only part 1!
Characters in this scene (I’ll put pictures later):
(Note: Many of these characters actually come from fandoms.)
Blue: A velociraptor, gray with a blue steak down each side of her body. (Actually a character from Jurassic World). Protagonist, normally.
Hunter: A human, with tan skin and long dark brown hair; he has a marking in the shape of half a skull covering the entire left half of his face. He’s wearing gray armor with red markings. (Actually a character from Star Wars) Normally a deuteragonist, but the POV character for this scene.
Fjord: An ice dragon, white scales with gray and black armor. Missing his left eye. (Actually a character from the Wings of Fire book series, although here he is allied with my brother’s villain group, the Icebreakers) An antagonist.
Fractal: Another ice dragon, also white with gray armor. (Technically a fanfiction character. His species borrowed from Wings of Fire but his character entirely our own) Also an antagonist.
Fjord turned to Blue, hatred evident in his eyes. “All the blood spilled in this war is on your claws.” he hissed. “I should kill you right now. Show your friends what it feels like to have you torn away from them.”
“No.”
Hunter didn’t even realize he’d said it until he stepped up to face Fjord. “This war was my fault.”
“Hunter, that’s not true, and you know it.” Blue hissed.
“No, Blue.” Hunter told her. “It is true.”
He proceeded to explain.
Years ago. Fern, Dawn, Arrow, Bloodshed, Bear. When he’d first admitted why he was really there on that planet, learning of the Fallenleaf Tribe’s culture. The stampede. Dawn’s death. The war that started as a result.
That war turned into this one.
He looked at Fjord. “I started it all. I’m sorry. The blood of all of your dragons and everyone else is on my hands, not Blue’s. Kill me if that makes you happy….at least I’ll know I helped end the fight that I started.”
“Hunter, what are you doing?” Blue asked.
Fjord tightened his grip on his axe.
“Go ahead.” Hunter dropped his rifle on the floor, indicating that he wadn’t going to try and fight back. If this was his fate, so be it.
Fjord looked from him to Blue, who was standing by with a horrified expression but made no attempt to stop him.
Then he struck.
Hunter didn’t even reach for his knife as his sternum was shattered to pieces by Fjord’s axe.
Ok!! So….I’m probably going to post part 2 pretty soon if I can. Now for a couple of tags—please tag anyone else you want!
@elishavet-pidyon @freedomwriter76 @godlyfantasy12 @koshka
@hallie-jean @e-m-trepke @powerWhat do you think so far??
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
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@keilah-h. HUNTER!!!!! 😭😭😭😭
@freedomwriter76 Oh, it gets worse.
Fjord ripped the axe out. An Icebreaker tactic—wound your enemy, then tear the weapon out of their body in an awkward position, just to cause more damage.
Hunter barely felt it anymore.
A pair of claws caught him as he fell. “Hold on, Hunter. Stay with me.” came Blue’s voice. He didn’t know how long she dragged him for before finally setting him down beside a rock face.
The light reflected sharply off the ice [yes, they’re on an ice planet by the way], blurring his vision even more than it already was. He blinked, recovering a semblance of focus.
“Where are—where’s his family?” Blue asked someone. “Get them over here.”
Whoever it was walked away.
“You didn’t need to do that!” Blue hissed, and it took a moment for Hunter to realize she was talking to him. She sounded angry, but he knew it was a guilty sort of anger in her voice. “I was the one Fjord was after, not you.”
“It’s….it’s all right, Blue.” Hunter could barely form the words with the shallow breaths he was taking now. “Th-this was a long time….coming.”
Some others joined Blue. His siblings. His wife, Liberty. “Hunter, no!” she said, crouching beside him, attempting to stop the bleeding that stained his gray armor red. “Why….you shouldn’t have…..”
“It was prophesied.” Fjord’s voice hissed, evidently watching the scene, perhaps even gleefully. “Before the winter….a final sacrifice will end the era of bloodshed.”
“It doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t have been you. Please, Hunter. I can’t lose you like I lost Watcher.” Liberty whispered, her voice breaking. [Watcher being a character who was like a mentor to her. He died a while back ago.]
“It’ll…..be okay. S-someone had to…had to end it all.” Hunter’s eyes locked with Liberty’s. “I’m sorry, Liberty, I….really am….”
The last thing he felt before his final breaths left him was her hand against his cheek.
Ok…..I think that was needlessly dramatic, but……. Now you see why I wanted to get in the tissue fort so badly! While this isn’t the story exactly as told (since I didn’t actually write it down, and it wasn’t originally from his POV), and it’s slightly shortened because I couldn’t remember some bits, it’s a pretty close approximation. I literally did cry telling this part to my brother.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
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@keilah-h. *sobs* 😭😭😭
- Rank: Chosen One
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Welcome to the tissue fort! *welcomes you inside, sobbing*
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@keilah-h. Readers have no CLUE the trauma and pain we writers suffer. XD
@freedomwriter76 I know. I didn’t think I knew, but now I know FULL WELL.
So how’d you like the scenes? Apart from the character’s death of course, which is never a good thing.
I was wondering if I was being a little overtly dramatic, but if you liked it I’d like to know!
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@keilah-h. Yep. You do once you start writing. XD
I thought it was good! I don’t feel like it’s overly dramatic, I just see the strong bonds between characters! I think you did a wonderful job! 👏
@freedomwriter76 Thank you! And here’s a little aftermath scene from Liberty’s POV, probably a few days to weeks later:
Liberty awoke to the squeaky crow of a small rooster.
Hunter had always called that one “Screwup” because of its weird crow.
She almost expected him to fling something at the window and startle the rooster, the same way he’d always done.
But next to her, where he should have been, muttering about it being too early for him to get up (even pulling that excuse at 9 in the morning), there was only an empty space.
Instead of him being there, smiling at her when Stormcloud tripped her into the snow, she had only the memory of his smirk.
Instead of his voice asking for his breakfast practically burnt, there was only silence.
She missed him.
She wanted him back.
But she knew that was a foolish hope.
A few things—yes, they own chickens, yes, he used to always throw something at the window so one of their roosters will stop perching there and startling them with his “broken” high-pitched crow early in the morning, and no, she’s not the only one in the house now. He has four brothers and one sister, and she has four sisters, all of which live with them. They also have a nephew who’s less than 1, so….”silence” probably isn’t the most accurate word, but I suppose her grief over him has sort of deafened her to the loudness of living with 10 others.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Ouch, those are hard scenes to write. I know next to nothing about those characters, but I can still feel the sorrow it that story.
Poor Liberty.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork- Rank: Chosen One
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@keilah-h. You’re So Welcome! 😀 And aww….*sobs* I feel so bad for her. 🙁
@keilah-h AAAWWWW HUNTER AND LIBERTY…ARE MAKING ME *cries forever*
🥰#TorrynVelgardProtectionSquad🥰
@koshka @queen_of_alvastia Yep……I cried creating those parts of the story. Hunter’s one of my favorite characters, and Liberty’s awesome too.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
@keilah-h well now the rest of us are in tears too….
🥰#TorrynVelgardProtectionSquad🥰
@queen_of_alvastia Really late reply….but yes, slightly sorry slightly not…..
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
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