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I like the pigeon idea too!
This was a sweet/sad scene to read and I’m glad Tauren doesn’t get the disease in the new plot. But I get what you mean about not wanting to just throw out something you worked hard to develop. Maybe you could use the disease in a future book or have it happen to someone else?
The picture is adorable! The guitar! Does he still play guitar?
He must increase, but I must decrease.
Aww Tauren!!! I’m so glad that you left out the disease part when you changed it! He’s too precious❤😢!
yeah, I can’t do that too him 😅
That was great, I really loved reading it! Yeah, I can tell that your writing has improved since then! That was in July?
Thanks! I’d say maybe mid-summer, july is when the story was new new and not really written at all.
This sentence just made me smile. I don’t really know why. It’s just such a cute little sentence mentioning his curls (❤) and soft features XD.
Yeah I love writing about his curls… I need to use sentences like those in my current writing more 🤣
Yeah, I noticed that too! I like your current narration style better 😉
Thanks!
I think the disease part has potential, but since it’s a little dark, I know you might not want to use that…
Yeah, I agree. Maybe for a future book.
I LOVE the idea of pigeons, but ya know, not really sure where you would put that in your story. Maybe Maylee could grow up to be a pigeon keeper or something XD
XD Maylee actually never lives with a mining family.
Hmm. Maybe you could keep the ideas, and maybe just have them on standby if you need something to happen.
Yeah sounds good!
But, anyway, I do really like the ideas for pigeons and the disease! If you think you could use them, I believe that they have potential!
Thanks!!
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Yeah, I might use the ideas for a future book.
Thanks! I might keep the guitar thing, I’m going to be learning guitar (if I make myself XD the first couple months of teaching yourself something new are never fun)
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
I know this thread is really old (not really, just subjectively), but I was looking through my old notebook (the one with SPESHUL SECRET STUFF THAT NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO READ), and I just had to share this section. My sister nearly died laughing XD
Okay. So this is an old story, that people would tell their children at bed time. I wrote this when I was 13. I am 16 now.
Goodnight, my dearest one. What? A story? I’m sorry, my sweetest, I… well…
Long ago, in the olden days, when the world was young, and dragons still roamed the mountains, and stars watched from the cool, glittery sky – in a small, quiet village – a child was born. A tiny baby boy. What did they name him, you ask? No man knows. His name has been swept away by the winds of Time, lost forever. Only the Old One of Eldorra remembers now. Anyway.
When the child was born, A prophecy was made. Yes, A prophecy. Made by an Ancient One. No one believed her when she said that the boy would be as one of the Elders. What is an Elder? They are older than Ancient Ones, but not as ancient as the Old One. They possess great secrets, and greater magic. Yes, that is what the Ancient One foretold.
But you see, the child’s parents hated the Ancient Ones, and detested all such things. They did not wish such attention to come to their family. So at last, they left the baby in the forest, knowing that he wouldn’t last. Who do you think saved him?
Goodnight. I’ll tell you tomorrow.
Okay okay okay, that’s not too bad. In fact, I’d say it’s pretty good for a tween just starting to write. But take a closer look at this section…
What is an Elder? They are older than Ancient Ones, but not as ancient as the Old One.
What was my brain process at this point?? What?!? WHA… ?!?!?!
“Everything is a mountain”
Oh I love that!! Such a cute story! I want to know the next part!! 😀
And that last section…
What is an Elder? They are older than Ancient Ones, but not as ancient as the Old One.
XDXDXD That’s awesome. And I bet it made perfect sense to you back then, and now you’re just like “Oh my gosh. What in the world was I thinking?!”
XDXD
#HugRikerSquad
Oh my word, I love that! XD I love reading old writing compared to recent writing. Lol
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Y’all gotta read this. XD
This is half of chapter one and all of chapter two from one of the first book I tried to write when I was 8 or 9. (Basically the first part of the chapter was where a 10 year-old girl named Zoey was outside and she got sucked into this tornado thing. XD) (Oh, and I’m leaving all the spelling, grammar, and positioning to how it originally was, so bear with me. 😂)
“Where am I ?” I asked myself, “ It looks like I am in a flower meadow. I mean,it’s not too bad.” While I was slowly getting up after my shock, I saw something coming towards me. When it got close I saw that it was some dog-like creature. Its fur was light blue and it had small bat-looking wings which were light brown. Its yellow nose started sniffing my legs. “Well,hello!” I said when it flew up and around my face. “You have a lot of energy don’t you ?” In a high pitched voice it replied, “I am a Pontick. My name is Lucky, and I used to bring good luck before the Darklings took my powers away from me.”
“My name is Zoey and you are sooooo cute!” I said giving Lucky a big hug. “And… who are the Darklings ?”
He replied solemnly, “They are servants of Jacques Buthear. He took over our world and has been controlling ever since Lacrosky’s Empire fell.”
“Wow,” I said breathless. “This is a lot of information to take in at once. You are a Panticky…” “Pontick,” he corrected me. “Yeah,right. Pontick. And some creepy-sounding person named Jacques Buthear who controls this world. Maybe I’m here for a purpose,” I finished.
“Oh, by the way, here is some more info. Jacques keeps capturing creatures,stealing their powers, making his power stronger, and planning to destroy everything that is Lacrosky’s forever.” He said super quickly.
“Thanks ???” I said worriedly, “Is there any way we can stop him, Lucky ?”
“Well, there is one way. You have to collect the eight diamonds. Legend says when all put together by the right person, he or she becomes stronger than Jacques Buthear.”
“Then we have to find those diamonds!” I said determinedly.
“I think I might know where to find some help! Follow me!” Lucky said, already flying away.
“Wait for me!” I cried running after Lucky. I hoped he knew what he was doing. But, he was so cute I could trust him. Yet, who knows what could happen in an unknown world. And I was about to find out.
Chapter 2
As Lucky flew overhead and I walked along,I still had more questions. “So,” I started, “who is Lackrosky ?”
“He used to be the Emperor of this land and all other seven lands. The land we are in now is called Dochulia. Thankfully Jacques hasn’t found our country yet. We are protected by a forcefield that lets no one see our land or anything in it,” Lucky explained.
“Well that’s good!” I exclaimed in relief, “But where do we find the diamonds ?” (I was now stuck on finding those diamonds).
“We can find them in each of the eight countries. Yet we don’t know where they are so we have to get help,” Lucky said as he flew up to a small door and landed in front of it. “We’re here,” he breathed as we walked inside.
“I hope this works,” I murmured to myself. Right when I ducked through the doorway, I was comforted by the smell of cookies baking in the oven.
“OH! Hello darling Lucky! And vhat is dis girl doing with you ?!” a Dutch woman’s voice floated through the air.
“Hello Auntie Joice. This is Zoey. We are going to look for the eight diamonds and destroy Jacques Buthear!” Lucky said triumphantly. This Auntie Joice seemed friendly enough. She had dusty red hair tied up into a bun. Her dress was covered in flour and paint. From the dim lighting I could make out deep green eyes that were wide with interest.
“Huh!” Auntie Joice said disgustedly, “You mean you and zat girl Zoey are going to take on Mr. Jacques Buthear.”
“Yeeeees we are Miss Joice,” I said trying to sound confident. “But, because we don’t know where the diamonds are, we need your help.”
“Lucky, was dis your idea ?” Auntie Joice asked pointing a wooden spoon at the young Pontick. “You’re right it was, Auntie Joice!” Lucky said with a gigantic smile on his face. “Alright. zlet me go get the scrolls,” Miss Joice said as she reluctantly left the room. About five minutes later she returned carrying two scrolls in her hands. “Here you go,” Auntie Joice said as she gave me the scrolls. “Zey will give you clues to where each ziamond is hidden. Now go on your way and don’t get into trouble.” We left the small house and found a place to rest before beginning our long journey. We continued along the meadow and we soon reached a swamp. It had a shining, rainbow goop that made me dizzy so I had to look away. “The scroll says to jump into the swamp,” I said worriedly. “Well, then jump in!” Lucky said as he ‘cannonballed’ into the goop. I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea seeming the swamp looked like an optical illusion. “Here goes nothing!!” I cried as I jumped in. When I landed, I was clean and dry. I also was in an interesting outfit. “What am I wearing ?” I thought to myself as I looked down at the light purple matireal.It covered every part of me except my hands,face,and feet. On my feet were silver boots and on my hands were still silver gloves. But the rims of each had the color turquoise. “I guess this is OK,” I thought to myself again. We were in some kind of cave with gold lining the sides. “Don’t touch the gold or you will forever be paraylyzed and old,” I read from the scrolls. “OK ? Do not touch the gold!” I warned Lucky, but at the same time telling myself just in case.Things were moving too fast for me right now. I had to think about what had happened so far. “I landed in a meadow, met the Pontick,Lucky, went to a lady’s house and got the scrolls to guide our path.” I reminded myself, “Oh,and now we are in a weird cave. At least we haven’t gotten in any trouble.” And as if on cue, an ugly, slimy monster jumped out in front of us and started blabbering/growling in some monstery ‘language’. “Uh,oh!” I cried. “What do we do ?! I don’t speak monster!!!” “It’s OK,” Lucky said calmly, “It is an Ookla-Moogla and my mother taught me how to speak their language just in case I ever run into one while exploring.” He then started growling back at the Ookla-Moogla. The big monster moved over to the side and we continued our trek to the first diamond. After what seemed like an hour making our way around more monsters and a few blue bats, we found a glowing door just a few yards away. I slowly walked forward and opened it. Lucky and I got a blast of light in our faces, but, we saw what we were looking for. The first diamond. It looked like a real diamond in my world but it had an unearthly feel around it. I then reached at a safe distance and pulled it from it’s position. “OK,we got the first diamond. This seems easy enough. I mean it is kinda fun. I even got a new outfit!” I said as we walked out of the cave. (There was another door behind the diamond that led outdoors). We were happy and cheery until we came to the elves at the gate to the next country. The main elf guard was positioned in the middle. She wore light green leggings and an emerald green tunic. She held a spear with what looked like a small gem at the end. Apparently, the elves were very protective of their land. “We do not let foreigners in,” said sternly, “You must pass our three tests before coming in. Then and only then will we let you in.” “Alright,” I agreed, “what is our first test ?” “You MUST swim across the river that is half a mile away and bring back the rock on the other side.” “How do we know what rock to bring back ?” Lucky asked as he landed in my arms. “You will know.” she replied. We then quickly swam across the river and saw a medium sized purple rock. I assumed that was it and we brought it back to the princess-look-alike elf. “Good.” was all she said. “Next you MUST climb the mountain that is a mile away. I will take you there.” She snapped her fingers and we were then at the bottom of a small mountain.We actually climbed it pretty quickly,but getting down was the hard part. “Lucky!” I said holding on for dear life as my fingers slowly slipped from a ledge, “Do you think you could pull me up by the string that just appeared on my suit ?” “SURE!” he replied willingly. We finally got down and teleported (by the elf’s power) to the gate. “Your last test is to show me the first diamond found in Dochulia. It will be a hard task so I will give you three days.” the elf said. “But we already have it,” I replied with a big smile on my face. “Yes sirre!” Lucky exclaimed. “Alright then,” the beautiful elf said, “I am Queen Harmony. I rule over and protect the elves in this country of Elvendore. You may enter the country.” She opened the gate and let us in.
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Oh, yes!!! The accent!!!🤣🤣
I haven’t done anything on here before, but I just found something that, well, wasn’t that great… Lol. Hope y’all enjoy this.
Guns Under Stars
Tark held cards, spread out in his fingers. He also had a few aces in each sleeve, another tucked behind his ear and under his thick hair, and about twelve more split between his boots. He eyed his competitors warily, daring them to make a move.
Darrell slapped down two aces and a nine. Bill’s expression remained slack. Tark pretended to scratch behind his ear and slipped the card there into his hand. The table remained silent. No one had noticed. Smirking, he casually set three beautiful aces down on the table. Darrell gawked. Bill scowled.
“Now, hold on!” he yelled, standing and slamming his hands on the table. “Empty your sleeves, Tark!”
Tark stood and glared back. “Why should I, Bill? I beat you fair and square!”
Darrell drew two guns and pointed one at Bill and the other at Tark. “Stop arguing like toddlers! Let’s settle this like men. Hand over your cash and you can walk out this door alive.”
Fake stars lit up Bill’s red face. “Darrell, you wouldn’t know a man if he punched you in the nose!”
Tark lunged forward and twisted one of the guns out of Darrell’s grip. He backed away, and the three of them began to circle the planetarium. Saturn glowed from above, its rings spinning along with them. Bill was the only man without a gun, holding only a small dagger in his hand.
“Alright, Darrell,” Tark said. “Even split. We each get half of Bill’s coins. Then we both walk away happy.”
Darrell grinned, and they both aimed their barrels at bill. “Hand it over,” he said as they advanced. Bill’s eyes darted from left to right, searching for a way out.
Light spilled from the door behind Tark and Darrell. Saturn, the sun, and the stars disappeared above them. The triplets all dropped their plastic weapons. “Come on, boys! Time for dinner!”
So, I don’t know what was happening here… I think it was supposed to be funny??? I remember showing it to my parents and thinking it was the coolest thing, because HA, you didn’t expect the ending! 😅🤣🤣
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
@kyronthearcanin ok…I actually really love that XD because reading that and then it ends up being adorable triplets at the end is so cute!!!
Especially when you take in the context “Stop arguing like toddlers! Let’s settle this like men!” XD XD!!! I think if you ever get the chance you should rewrite this!!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebAnd maybe have them be playing Uno or something XD XD!!!!!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebOh, yes, I totally should!!! 🤣🤣 Uno would be hilarious! XD
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
Reminds of a certain…Neverending Story perhaps??? 🤣🤣
He must increase, but I must decrease.
Oh, yes!!! The accent!!!🤣🤣
Yes, IKR?! 🤣🤣
I love that little story!! 😂
Reminds of a certain…Neverending Story perhaps??? 🤣🤣
What’s that? I’ve never heard of it, sry. 😅
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
What’s that? I’ve never heard of it, sry. 😅
No problem. It’s a movie (rather cheesy….hopefully my younger siblings don’t hear me say that…😅) Anyway it has a dog-like creature in it that flies who is a Lucky “dragon” and brings good luck. Also, the MC has to save the planet from this darkness stuff that’s taking over, and he has to go through these tests to do it. And there’s a swamp… Your story reminded me of it. 😉
He must increase, but I must decrease.
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