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NC Stokes posted an update 6 years, 7 months ago
@ingridrd Hello! I finished reading Substitute Wednesday, but I’m just now giving you the critiques. Oops. Because I can’t make comments, I just typed up my critiques. Please forgive me if I sound harsh. I tried to critique it like a book I didn’t know the author of and didn’t know anything about.
Pg 22 –waist not waste
Pg 24 –up to you if you want to change it, but you used “small” twice in the same line. Not the same sentence though. I’m just being picky. Feel free to ignore. 🙂 Speaking of nit-picking, you used “some” twice in one sentence on this page too. Feel free to ignore again.
Pg 25- AHHH THE ROOM IS SO COOL!! Just had to say that.
Pg 35- “anytime you feel like being murdered, let me know.” *snorts*
I have a few overall critiques. There was a lot of talking and not a lot of action overall, which made things seem a little slow and not exiting at parts. Some of the descriptions felt telling-y. Jaclyn also seemed to leave behind her best friend without a second thought. Besides her aunt, she didn’t seem to have the emotional connection with Earth that would have made sense for someone who grew up there.
I answered your questions:
1. Jaclyn! She was an entertaining person to read from the perspective of. I wish my MC was had internal dialogue as fun to read as hers.
2. No scenes felt “unnecessary,” but I did feel like there were a big chunks of information being delivered at times.
3. Jaclyn’s parents. There was nothing that stood out about them.
4. Why was Jaclyn sent to Earth to live? Wouldn’t it have made more sense for her to grow up in the world she’s going to save?
5. To be honest, I didn’t find the ending satisfying. There wasn’t a suspenseful climax, just a lot of exposition. It felt like you were leading up to something, and then the book just ended. That is a pretty killer cliffhanger though.
Sorry this is such a late response! I was in Tennessee for a week with limited internet access. Anyway, THANK YOU so very much for your comments and taking the time to read my story! And you were most definitely not too harsh. I needed some critical feedback. 🙂 Thanks again!
Glad to be of service! I enjoyed reading it.