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Ellette Giselle posted an update 2 weeks, 5 days ago
So……
I FINISHED!!!!
I had a crazy week,l but I was finally able to sit down yesterday and I read the whole thing!
It was well done. I like the story so much, and I’m really looking forward to the next book!!! I’m really excited for it! I definitely love Riker the best still, and I’m very happy that he and Leon have finally made up. Your characters felt a little more flushed out, especially Leon in the beginning. He shaped up really well.I do have a thought/complaint.
So, you had this habit of having a long list.
ex: God couldn’t love a Murderer, God couldn’t love a mistake, etc. Or, Fin was wrong, Isaiah was wrong, etc. And those lists could go on for up to a whole page sometimes, but closer to half a page. (you did it a lot with Leon too) I thought they were fine and brought the characters thoughts into perspective in the beginning. But then they kept coming back. It started to feel like you’d copied and pasted those first couple of lists, (even if you hadn’t) and it was starting to feel a little repetitive. By the second half of the book I was skimming the lists or sometimes skipping them altogether.
The one other thing was near the latter half of the book, it didn’t feel like a lot was happening. Which is strange because it had the most action. But thinking back on it, I think you lost the power of your action because you were putting so much focus on the same thought process we had read about several times. I even had a few moments of, “Oh goodness, here we go again.” And it wasn’t because the story lacked interest, but because I feel like the focus was on the wrong place. If you had briefly described their feelings, used a new description technique, or even just told us they were having the same feelings they’ve had throughout the book, and then shifted the focus to what was happening, I think that would have immensely improved those few chapters in the end of the middle.
I also began to get the impression that Riker is extremely prideful. To say that God can’t love him or forgive him is very prideful, because he thinks his sins are above those of everyone who has ever lived– including Fin and Eric. Sometimes it’s hard to see the pride in that, but it is there. I wasn’t sure if you were intending to pull that out, but if so, I would be really interested in seeing it further developed later on where he struggles with pride in some areas. (I’m also interested in his reaction to Paul, who names himself “the chief of sinners”)So yeah, I wouldn’t have mentioned those two cirques at all if I hadn’t known that you were writing more books, and I wanted to sort of give you a heads up on how a few things were affecting me (the reader)
But, those things aside, this was a really amazing book!!!! I think I like the setup and story of the first one better, but I have a feeling the last will be my favorite. We’ll see!
Great job and congratulations for publishing another book! This is amazing, girl!
Also, since this is “privet” and no one will see this and get spoilers. (unless they hunt it up) feel free to shoot any questions at me!
As an author I feel the need to pelt people with questions that are spinning in my head about how my book was received and what do they think of this, what do they think of that? etc. etc. So yeah, I’m completely open to any questions you send my way!
Congrats again!
@ellette-giselle I am so, soooo glad you enjoyed Broken Shackles! 💜💜
Thank you so much for your support.
I’ve noted what you said and I can see where things got repetitive (something I’m still trying to work on😅). As far as Riker thinking his sins are greater, it honestly really depends. I based that part of his struggles based on my own battle with shame and the things I’ve heard from others, but I can see how that could come off as prideful to some.
and I’m glad you warmed up some to Leon. I loved him more in Broken Shackles vs Freedom’s Fire too😉
anyway, thank you so, so much for reading Broken Shackles. I hope it touched and/or blessed you in some way, and I’m glad you overall enjoyed it💜
Oh I have enjoyed it! It was excellent!
I’m really, really looking forward to the last book! (I love endings, so I’m thinking it might be my fav!)
Anyhow, I hope that any criticism was helpful. Thank you again so much for writing these! You’re doing an amazing job and these books have been very inspiring!