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@freedomwriter76 @savannah_grace2009 Don’t be surprised if this gets deleted later…
IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND YOU ARE NOT FREEDOM OR SARA, LOOK AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

So… You said if I needed to talk to someone, that you were open… You know how Chase hides in his hood all the time? I…I kinda figuratively do that. I cringe and turn away when my parents (especially my Dad, since he understands me better than mom) ask how I’m doing inside. Just like Chase, I feel like no one understands, just like Chase, I hide away, hoping no one sees through my mask of “fine”.
Nahim is just tired of hearing about the goodness of God, he turns away, fuming over the death of his family. He’s one of God’s children, but he just has slipped into this state of almost hatred against God.
He acts strong and tough, but behind closed doors, his eyes grow cloudy.
I tried so very hard not to slip into the same pit as Nahim, but like charrie, like writer. In ways, Nahim and Chase have become like the two children closest and most like my heart.
Chase hides away, and few can pull him out for any length of time.
Nahim watched his family die, and just doesn’t know how to go on.
Both feel misunderstood, both feel alone. Both are hurting.
Both have fallen and can’t get back up…no matter what they do.
I hide away. I watched the greatest person in my life die over months. I don’t know how to go on. I feel alone, I feel misunderstood, I am hurting.

I’ve fallen and I can’t get back up.

I’ve grown up knowing the goodness of God, I’ve grown up knowing he never leaves one of his own behind. I’ve grown up knowing sometimes he puts his children through things. I’ve grown up knowing all that stuff…but somehow I just doubt. I know I shouldn’t, but somehow the doubts seem founded. What is the plan in all this? I just can’t understand, I can’t see it.

@freedom
You might remember a while back, I posted a snippet in first person, on Chat Chat or Whatever We’re Working On, idr. It was random, and sad, I remember you commented on it.
That ‘I’ was me.