4 Non-Romantic Relationships You Need In Your Story

By Allison Grace

“Oh, Hero, you are the most handsome man I have ever met. You are so tall and so brave. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Love Interest, I feel the same.”

Cue a paragraph about them kissing. 

Bleck.

To be entirely honest, I dislike most romances. Sure, I have a few fictional couples that I ship (much to my brother’s dismay), but in general, I’d rather skip the mush and cut to the action.

That being said, character relationships and interactions are my absolute favorite part of storytelling.

There are so many different relationships we have in real life. We have families, friends, bosses, co-workers, pastors, teachers, students… The list could go on for a while. 

Unfortunately, these non-romantic relationships get glossed over in fiction and the romance takes center stage. 

But we shouldn’t just throw in some friends for the main character or a sibling just because. All relationships lead to a change in the character in one way or another. 

Think about it: The people you are around shape who you become (Prov. 27: 17, 1 Cor. 15:33). 

Let’s take a look at 4 relationships you need to have in your story and how they can affect your main character. 

Parent-Child

Have you ever read a story with a parent interacting with their little kid and it just made you melt a little inside? Those are the best. 

But when the kid gets to YA hero age, their relationship with their parents crashes. 

Parents simply become cardboard obstacles to the hero’s goal. That’s assuming they’re even still alive at that point. 

But we’re missing out on a great relationship when we give our characters useless parents. 

I’m not saying your character needs to always get along with his parents. Maybe it’s better for the story if they don’t! But take the time to develop this relationship. 

Or what if, instead of your character being the child, they’re the parent? How would they relate to and interact with their child? 

In my opinion, the best way to learn is by example, so here are some of my favorite parent-child combos:

(skip the next few paragraphs if you want to avoid potential Avengers: Endgame spoilers)

I love seeing Tony Stark as a father to Morgan. By making him a father, the writers were able to demonstrate how Tony has changed as a person over the MCU. We get to see him cuddle with her, eat popsicles with her late at night, and tuck her into bed. It’s honestly adorable. Tony’s relationship with Morgan smooths out his rough edges and makes him a more likable person. 

In Tangled, Mother Gothel is more interested in Rapunzel’s hair than the well-being of her daughter. The viewer is aware of this, but Rapunzel isn’t, which makes the relationship even more interesting. 

The stakes of losing their daughters are very high for both Tony and Mother Gothel. But they are very different stakes. If Tony loses his daughter, he loses part of his family. If Mother Gothel loses Rapunzel, she loses her ability to remain eternally young. 

(okay, Endgame spoilers over!)

Or think of Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker. The revelation that Vader is Luke’s father shifts the whole thrust of the story. Suddenly the villain isn’t who we thought he was. This complicates Luke’s relationship with Vader. Until Cloud City, Luke wanted to kill him. But now, he wants to redeem him and turn his father back to the light. 

Keep in mind, parent-child relationships don’t have to be biological or legally adopted. Sometimes, characters will naturally develop a parental relationship with another character, like Tony Stark and Peter Parker or Mando and Baby Yoda.

What a Parent-Child relationship can add to your story:

• Add a new dimension to a character by showing how they interact with their parent/child.
• Raises the stakes. What would the hero do to prevent someone from hurting their parent/child?
• Forces character development. What matters more to your character: his family or his goal?

Sibling--Sibling

Siblings are underused. They have so much potential for dynamic team-ups and friendships.

But we have been taught that siblings are annoying. You remember the age when you thought everyone younger than you was disgusting and immature? 

You guys, siblings are cool! 

Sibling relationships can range from super close and knowing the other’s deepest secrets to extremely hostile. They might be competitive in a friendly way or in a jealous way. 

Maybe your character has seven siblings or just one. Keep in mind that the number of siblings, age gaps, gender, and personality affect who gets along best with who. 

Also remember the struggles that come with being the oldest--being bossy, parenting (accidentally or intentionally) of younger siblings, and trying to set a good example--the middle child--feeling forgotten, needing to compete with older and younger siblings for attention, acting out--and the youngest--always feeling like the baby of the family, need to prove themselves as mature, etc.

Here are some examples of the best sibling relationships:

Thor and Loki are one of my favorite fictional sibling pairs. Loki feels like he’s living in Thor’s shadow. He’s well aware he is not Odin’s favorite. Thor is mostly oblivious. But they both care about each other, even if they are on opposing sides. And, of course, we have this scene:

Gif credit: Tenor

Classic siblings right there. 

The Pevensies are also a great example of fictional siblings. As the oldest, Peter and Susan try to be the responsible ones. Edmund, in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, is the brat of the family. Lucy is the adorable “baby,” who at times is more mature than Peter. 

Or what about the clone troopers in The Clone Wars? They consider each other as brothers and are extremely loyal. They also have some “sibling rivalry” going on. 

Don’t forget about Katniss’ willingness to sacrifice herself for Prim and Anna’s loyalty to Elsa, even after she froze the kingdom in eternal winter.

Now I’m not saying your character needs to have siblings. They can be an only child. They could “adopt” someone as their sibling. Or, like Merry and Pippin, they could be such good friends, they are almost brothers!

What a sibling-sibling relationship can add to your story:

• Adds competition. Is one sibling better than the other at a certain skill? Is the other okay with that or does it bother them?
• Raises the stakes. Just like a parent-child relationship, how far will one sibling go for the other? 
• Adds another dimension to the character by showing how they interact with their sibling.

Mentor-Mentee

In general, we think of mentors as being someone who guides the hero on their quest. That is true, but there’s more to the mentor-mentee relationship than that. 

The job of a mentor is to give wisdom and guidance to your character. This might be a parent, friend, teacher, pastor, or boss. 

Here are some examples of great mentor-mentee relationships:

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker have an interesting mentor-mentee relationship. Particularly as they have a bit of a sibling relationship as well (Obi-Wan calls Anakin his brother in Revenge of the Sith). Obi-Wan is not that much older than Anakin, but he still fulfills the role of offering wisdom and counsel. Anakin often balks at following instructions, which adds tension to the relationship. 

Then throw in the Anakin and Ahsoka mentor-mentee relationship and it gets even crazier! 

And you know I couldn’t resist another chance to talk about Marvel, right? Tony takes Peter as his unofficial mentee. He does his best to protect the kid and keep him on the right path.

Gif credit: Tenor 

Mentors don’t have to spend a long time with a character to have a profound effect on their life. Think of Obi-Wan and Luke Skywalker; Gandalf and Frodo; Yinsen and Tony Stark; and Dr. Erskine and Steve Rogers. They didn’t get to spend much time together, but they still filled a mentor role. 

Remember, your main character doesn’t always have to fill the mentee role. They could be the mentor. What if you flipped the mentor trope on its head and the mentee dies instead of the mentor?

What a mentor-mentee relationship can add to your story:

• Once again, character development. How does the mentor push the mentee to change? Does the mentee have any wisdom to share with the mentor?
• Brings out a new facet of a character. Are they good at teaching? Do they accept direction or forge their own path?
• Raises the stakes. How important is the mentee to the mentor and vice versa?

Friends

I’ve saved the best for last!

Friendships are my most favorite character relationships.

There’s something refreshing about those “with you ‘til the end of the line” and “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you” kind of friendships. 

*happy sigh*

Your character can have close, loyal friends they wouldn’t hesitate to spill their guts to. They can have good friends they hang out with all the time. And they probably have acquaintances who they might stop and chat with at the grocery store, but certainly won’t take on an adventure with them. 

When you’re planning friends for your characters, don’t make them all like Sam Gamgee. That’s unrealistic and can become very discouraging for both you and the reader. Just like a romance with a perfect couple, a perfect fictional friendship does more harm than good.

Kathleen has a great video on writing friendships that you should check out!

Here are some of my favorite fictional friendships:

Of course, I have to start with Sam and Frodo. Sam is the true hero of Lord of the Rings (fight me). He’s not tempted by the power of the Ring, he’s selfless, and he refuses to leave Frodo’s side. Now, you might be tempted to call Sam the perfect friend. But he does have flaws. He was very quick to judge Gollum and treated him unkindly. 

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are another dynamic friend pairing. They both look out for each other and even when Bucky becomes the Winter Soldier, Steve still cares about him. While Bucky simply sees him as “his mission,” Steve views him as his best friend. 

What a friendship can add to your story:

• Raises the stakes. How far is your character willing to go for his friend? Would he lay down his life or is that too far?
• Character development. How does your main character interact with his friends? Is he one person around a group of aquaintences and a different one around his childhood bestie? 

I hope you have found at least one relationship that will make your story more powerful! 

Remember, relationships push your character to change in one way or another. Would your character most benefit from having a mentor or being a parent? Would he do anything for his brother or would he choose to save his best friend’s life instead?

It’s your story, so you choose. 

What is your favorite fictional friendship?