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So I’m starting the second draft of my WIP and I’m wondering if the beginning is just over the top?
Everyone knelt, the white fog weighing heavy around them. Jycin could feel his legs growing stiff in the cool damp air, but he dared not move. They would be coming at any moment, and he didn’t have the luxury of playing with fate.
What do y’all think?
@rochellaine, @jenwriter17, @seekjustice, @valtmy, or anyone else because tags are escaping me at the momentWIP - Decisions
Kapeefer til we're old and grey@alia If it’s honest about the tone of the book moving forward, it sounds awesome! And it’s definitely an effective hook. 🙂
Speculative fiction author. Mythology nerd. Singer. Worldbuilding enthusiast.
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@alia Well. *pushes nerdy glasses up the bridge of her nose* I certainly like the tone. There’s an air of mysterious silence, hushing the reader, and an urgency that ushers the reader onto the next paragraph. I don’t see a single thing wrong with it. How could it be over-the-top? *shrugs* It isn’t to me. In fact, I do quite like it indeed.
Which begs the question… What is your WIP about?
Coming from someone who has read quite a few “over the top” beginnings to novels, this is great!
If you’re worried that it’s too over-dramatic, just make sure what happens next fully follows through with the drama you’re alluding to.
@alia I think that’s fantastic! I love it! 😀
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comWhat’s next?? I love it!!!!!!! It’s not over the top at all. Great job, I hope there’s more…
what we do in life echoes in eternity
-gladiator, 2000@alia It’s setting the chapter/book up to dramatic and mysterious, so I think as long as you follow through on the promise very quickly, it’s all good!
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
@r-m-archer Thanks!
@gracie-j Thank you! Also my synopsis…
Jycin is a simple weaver in a simple village. Or at least he was. But when his sins lead to the choice of joining the hated priests or have his family killed, he discovers there is a much bigger world than he could have dreamed of. Faced with the future of losing his daughter, Jycin reluctantly trusts the mysterious Delmira with her promise of a better future. But will rebellion simply cause more heartache, or will something truly better make itself known?
@kathleenramm Good to keep in mind
@jenwriter17 Thank you!
@nova21 when I get either halfway through or done with this draft I’ll be looking for beta readers
@seekjustice I will try to do thatWIP - Decisions
Kapeefer til we're old and grey- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1789
@alia Ooh…I love it already! (If you need a name to add to your list of potential betas…)
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