Just A General Critique

Hey, Kapeefers! I figure it’s about time I ask for a writing critique, so I’m going to go ahead and do that! I’ll give you a sample of a roleplay I’m doing for another community. There shouldn’t be too many confusing inside jokes and references and stuff so don’t worry. But please let me know if you’re confused anyway! It’s just over two pages long — super quick.

HERE’S THE SAMPLE. Enjoy!!

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