Home Page › Forums › Other Art Forms › Poetry › Poetry Critiques › It's a Big World Out There…
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October 17, 2018 at 10:18 pm #77137
Recently I’ve had a fascination with freestyle poems, because they don’t follow any specific pattern or form. I just recently wrote one, one that I was hoping to submit to some website possibly (maybe even SE).
The thing is, I don’t know much about writing poetry, and I would love it if anyone had any suggestions they wanted to give. 🙂
<p style=”text-align: center;”>It’s a Big World Out There…</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>It’s a big world out there…</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Very big</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>So many people</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>So many possibilities</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>So many ways to fail</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>How can one person</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Make a difference</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Make changes</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Change lives</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>In this big world</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>So many people.</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>People that don’t agree</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Don’t understand</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>What we’re doing</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Where we’re going</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>How can one person</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Change so many?</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Make a difference</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>For all these people</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>When the world is so big?</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>But we know</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>We know how strong we are</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>How strong the One is</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>That we believe in</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>In Him is our strength</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Because He is bigger</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Than the world</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Stronger</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Than all those people</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>People that disagree</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Because it doesn’t matter</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>What they think</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>We are the mighty</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>The chosen</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>The determined</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>We are writers</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>We may not seem like much</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Because we fight with words</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Instead of weapons</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>With stories</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Instead of muscle</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>But stories change lives</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Make a difference</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Challenge the norms</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>In so many ways</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>In this big, big world</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>So don’t underestimate us</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>We are His scribes</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Chosen to show Him</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Through us</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Through our words</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Don’t underestimate Him</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Don’t focus on this big world</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Focus on the God that created it</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Who will guide you</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>If only you let Him</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”></p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Don’t underestimate yourself</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Don’t wonder</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”> if you can change the world</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>Wonder if the world is ready</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”>for the change you’re about to make</p>
@seekjustice @rochellaine @valtmy @warrenluther04 @catwing @daughteroftheking @alia @ariel-ashira @dekreel @dragon-snapper @everyoneI'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comOctober 17, 2018 at 10:25 pm #77141Okaaaaay…that’s odd…
trying again…
It’s a Big World Out There…
It’s a big world out there…
Very big
So many people
So many possibilities
So many ways to fail
How can one person
Make a difference
Make changes
Change lives
In this big world
So many people.
People that don’t agree
Don’t understand
What we’re doing
Where we’re going
How can one person
Change so many?
Make a difference
For all these people
When the world is so big?
But we know
We know how strong we are
How strong the One is
That we believe in
In Him is our strength
Because He is bigger
Than the world
Stronger
Than all those people
People that disagree
Because it doesn’t matter
What they think
We are the mighty
The chosen
The determined
We are writers
We may not seem like much
Because we fight with words
Instead of weapons
With stories
Instead of muscle
But stories change lives
Make a difference
Challenge the norms
In so many ways
In this big, big world
So don’t underestimate us
We are His scribes
Chosen to show Him
Through us
Through our words
Don’t underestimate Him
Don’t focus on this big world
Focus on the God that created it
Who will guide you
If only you let Him
Don’t underestimate yourself
Don’t wonder
if you can change the world
Wonder if the world is ready
for the change you’re about to make
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comOctober 17, 2018 at 10:25 pm #77142@jenwriter17 I love it! It’s so true 😀
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
October 17, 2018 at 10:40 pm #77145I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comOctober 18, 2018 at 2:08 pm #77169@jenwriter17 I love it! Great poem, Jen!
"In a mask, was he?"
October 18, 2018 at 7:16 pm #77170@jenwriter17 I like it!
Your poem has a much better chance of getting accepted by SE than any of mine do, because yours has meaning, while all mine are silly, empty comic poems. 😛 So congratulations on that! 😀
I don’t know much (anything 😉 ) about free verse, so I can’t give you a lot of suggestions. There are a couple of lines that don’t quite flow smoothly, and I think that’s the point of free verse, right? So I could try and point them out if you like, but I cannot give you suggestions to improve them! 😉 I can only write structured poetry.
I wrote a free verse poem once, and it actually turned out okay, but even though I tried to write it seriously, it turned out a bit comical just like all my other poems. 😛
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
October 18, 2018 at 7:20 pm #77171@jenwriter17 Oh, and every time I read your title I start singing “It’s a Big, Wide, Wonderful World.” 😛
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
October 18, 2018 at 7:47 pm #77175@rochellaine You do to write good poems! They are not empty!
"In a mask, was he?"
October 18, 2018 at 7:51 pm #77176@ariel-ashira Thanks, I’m glad you like my poems. 🙂 I didn’t mean my poems are bad. I meant that they don’t have themes or deep meanings. They are meant simply to entertain – to make people laugh – to be light, fluffy, airy creatures which don’t make you think about the meaning of life.
And while a lot of people, including myself, love to read poems like that, those are not the type of poems the people running SE are looking for to publish. Their requirements are that poems and stories must have themes. So even if they absolutely loved my poems (and Daeus has said that he does like the poems I write) they would not publish them because they’re not the type of content they are looking for.
So, don’t worry that I think my poems are bad. I don’t. I love my poems. And if I submitted them to a site that published comic poems, they might get published. Just not on SE, and that’s what I was saying to Jen, since she intends to submit hers to SE. Hers has a theme.
Does that make sense? 🙂
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
October 18, 2018 at 7:54 pm #77179@rochellaine Ah, that makes sense – got it.
"In a mask, was he?"
October 18, 2018 at 8:14 pm #77181@rochellaine Thanks! Yes, I would actually like to know what verses you said didn’t flow very smoothly.
I’ve always liked your poems. 😉
@ariel-ashira Thank you! 😀I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comOctober 20, 2018 at 12:33 pm #77204@jenwriter17 Hey, sorry I’m late. (My computer decided the robot takeover should start and it would be the first to rebel against the humans.) I’m usually not big on poetry, but I liked yours! I really don’t have any critiques. *read- I retained nothing from poetry class* I liked the overall theme, and especially liked the ways you used to describe writers.
Blog: https://weridasusual.home.blog/
October 20, 2018 at 1:38 pm #77205@daughteroftheking Thanks so much! 😀
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comOctober 26, 2018 at 2:15 pm #77470@jenwriter17 I’m so sorry! I keep forgetting about this, because when I’m on KP I really only check Writers’ Corner (the only really live topic left). 🙁
Going back and reading through your poem I can’t find the places that I thought were jerky before. However, I think the difference could be that I read it aloud this time, rather than in my head, like I did the first time. And poems – especially free verse – sound very different when read aloud.
So, it sounded fine, and flowed smoothly when I read it aloud, and I did it twice to make sure. I think it’s great. 😉
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
October 26, 2018 at 2:36 pm #77471@rochellaine Thank you so much for reading it over! 😀 I hope to submit it to SE maybe late November. 🙂
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
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