The School Bully

@dekreel 😀 Hi

I think the motivations of a bully are usually a) to feel good about themselves and feel powerful and b) to try to put down anyone who might threaten them or make them feel bad.

This is because, I think for the most part bullying comes out of insecurity. Bullies are insecure about themselves, they don’t get enough love from figures in their own life, and this makes them feel scared or hateful. Because of this, they bully others, to tell themselves that they really are stronger than anyone else.

When you are mean to someone else or make them scared, this puts you in a position of power, and this power is what bullies are looking for. When they bully someone, they feel strong and in control, and this provides relief for their own weaknesses which they are scared of.

I think bullies often act out too because they want to put down anyone who is a threat to them; and by this I mean not a threat as in someone bullying back, but a threat to their feelings. Maybe the bully is jealous of someone who is more talented than they are; maybe they are angry at someone who has loving parents. Maybe they it isn’t fair that someone else has a good life and they don’t; so then they get angry at that person and bully them.

Most times, I think bullying comes from an inner place of hurt or jealousy, and to satisfy their jealousy or feel powerful, someone will become a bully and take their feelings out on another person.

@dekreel Well, one cliche for bullies is that they are actually weak and pick on others to make themselves appear stronger. I once heard a really cool quote that was along the lines of “The weak hurt and bully. The strong protect.”

Other motives is that they are bored, they’re trying to strike out in rebellion, they truly hate the person they bully (for many different reasons), they’re trying to distance themselves from those people, they’re pressured to, they’re trying to stamp down a part of themselves that they either hate or want to hide.

The biggest cliche of bullies that I can think of is that they always have a posse. They always have a group of guys with him, protecting him or trying to encourage him.

That’s all I can think of at the moment. 🙂

@dekreel Tricky question. I have a bully in my current novel who plays a fairly small role, but it was hard to figure out how to write him without making him feel cheesy. This is what I’ve found

First, recognize that a lot of bully cliches are cliches for a reason. These things are true in real life, so they should be true in a book. This isn’t to say that some of them aren’t true, but a lot of them are.

Next, you’re already on the right track making him not be physically violent. That’s true to life. In movies, bullying is kind of like this: Bully walks up and says something mean. Hero punches bully or bully punches hero. Big fight. In real life, bullies are more prone to use verbal abuse. I did this and wasn’t entirely sure whether it was accurate (It is for girls, but I wasn’t sure about for boys) but then my dad said something about it and apparently I was right.

A good bully in a book is Draco Malfoy. He’s sneaky and self-obsessed and uses trickery and bluffing and general better-than-you attitude to get Harry into trouble. I’m sure I can think of other literary bullies but I’m having trouble right now…

Basically do what you’re doing, and take some of the other advice people have given 😀

@dekreel well i’m not actually gonna say most of what I was gonna say as it’s already been said (probably with more eloquence)

But I think a huge part of what might cause someone to bully has to do with them just not understanding how to handle their destructive emotions. Where those hurtful feelings come from could be anything- but I think a common source is bad family life. Anyway they don’t know what to do with all the intense hurt and so they lash out. (Bully characters are actually really tragic)

My favorite (I guess its a trope?) is when the main character shows them kindness and the bully starts to open up. (This can be done in a cheesy way.. And i’m not completely sure what the difference is between the well done, or cheesy way.. Maybe if it feels forced and ungenuine?) And then they join the main characters ‘squad’ 🙂

I think my least favorite way bullies are handles is when they are treated like a joke.. Not that it’s wrong to use them for comic relief.. But (I’m not sure how to explain it but I feel like there is a line between the occasional humorous scenario.. And treating the bully like they are anything less then the tragic character I believe them to be/Not a real person/a total joke. ) ??

I didn’t realize I had such strong feelings about bully characters until now. So I guess thanks for asking your question dekreel. 🙂 If this didn’t help at all, then at the very least I realized something about myself.

Ooo, interesting topic, @dekreel.
I want to expand a bit on something @notawriter said – often bullying comes from family life. I know this firsthand; I know many small children who are bullies in some way. They usually act differently around adults, or at church, if they go. But family problems is a huge thing, especially if it is the father (and in my context, it’s usually the father). These kids grow up in families in which the father/both parents don’t care about each other or their kids as they should. Sometimes one or both drink or gamble. But when these kids grow up in such an environment, their father figure acting as a father should not act, and if they don’t have outside influence to help them along a better path, there’s a good chance they’ll do that to others: their siblings, kids at school, animals… Bullying may not just be a way to deal with all the pain, though that certainly usually is part of it; it can also be the go to: that’s what they know to do, and it’s simply tragic.

Also, it doesn’t have to be just clear family issues. If the family a kid comes from looks down on others, or a certain type of people, then that prejudice may very well transfer to the child. I’m thinking Hannibal – perhaps not your typical example, but as his father was Carthage’s top general and absolutely hated Rome (and was not afraid to let everyone know the fact, especially his family), that transferred to Hannibal. Another example perhaps closer to home is @mnvalentine’s example of Draco (though my knowledge of him is limited, so forgive me). His parents are high class, pureblood, and look down on those below them, and this transfers to their son. Children are imitators. And when those closest to them–their parents–act in harmful ways, they may do the same. Of course, it’s lovely when the child doesn’t (and perhaps instead learns to stick up for people, for example), but sometimes bullying is all he knows how to do.

My worst problem with bullies in books is when they have no motive — i.e. just punching/taunting the MC for no reason because viola! conflict, but it seems you’ll definitely avoid that since you’re asking for motives. So kuddos to you for that 😀