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I’m not very satisfied with my attempt at a serious poem. As many of you know, I write mostly comic poems, and I find them much easier than serious poetry. I have no idea why I wrote this, but since I did, I’d like to be happy with it, so if you are reading this and if you feel like it, go ahead and critique. Thanks! 🙂
I Believe in Dragons
I believe in dragons
I met one yesterday
When fearsome flames it threw at me
I could not get awayI tried to run and hide
But it was far too fast
I felt it breathing down my neck
And knew I’d never lastI almost tripped and fell
But caught myself again
The dragon seemed about to strike
I turned around…and thenI saw the dragon true
And found it wasn’t large
It shrunk quite down to almost none
And I was now in chargeWhen it was at my back
To fight it was in vain
But when I faced the dragon down
It fell and writhed in painThat dragon was my fear
Of what I do not know
With courage I can look and see
And send that fear belowWhat I’m afraid to hear
Imagination swells
But when I fairly face the truth
My dread it oft dispelsMy fear is never strong
Enough to weaken me
As long as full ahead I stand
And smile, the fear will fleeBelieve in dragons, yes
But know they can be beat
Just face your fears and see at once
That dragon, Fear, retreat"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@rochellaine I like it! Although its kind of in between serious and comical at the same time. Thanks for sharing!
"In a mask, was he?"
@rochellaine Wow, great job. It’s inspiring, and adding dragons always is great 😀
Because of the dragons, I find it almost somewhat comical in nature still; it gives it a certain lightness which helps balance the introspective side.
The comparison of facing your fears to facing dragons is very fitting, too.
*Giarstanornarak tries to melt chair*
Also, Daeus has 22 turtles in his signature.@ariel-ashira @sam-kowal Haha! Guess I can’t escape from my comical side in poem writing. 😀 Part of the reason might be it was originally intended to be a comical explanation of why I believe in real dragons, but then I turned the dragons into figurative beasts and so thought I changed it to serious.
Thanks! Glad you liked it!
But does no one have advice for how to better it? I still feel like there’s something I didn’t do right.
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@rochellaine Maybe if its a serious poem, use a fear of something that isnt as fantasized as dragons are. If its a comical poem, then use whatever imaginary creatures you can find. Even still, I love it! Its an awesome poem. Dont take my advice because I said so, because I still have tons to learn!
"In a mask, was he?"
@rochellaine By the way, what is with “Sylvester!” if you dont mind me asking?
"In a mask, was he?"
@rochellaine Well done!! I love the parable you used! 😀
The one thing I would change is instead of “When fearsome flames it threw at me,” I would say, “When it threw fearsome flames at me.” Unless you want it to be elegant, in which case feel free to ignore that suggestion 😉
You can pronounce it however you want.
@ariel-ashira Yeah. The thing is, I actually believe dragons are real. 😀 But I do understand they’re looked upon as fantasy creatures. As I said before, I was intending it to be a comic poem, but accidentally made it serious, so that’s probably what the problem with that is.
*giggles* Um, that’s a quote from one of my favorite books. It’s a really funny proposal scene. They don’t end up getting married because neither of them actually want to in the end, since he actually kind of thought she was someone else, and she knew that and explained it to him. His name is Sylvester, and that line is part of a joke she makes. 😀
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@dekreel I don’t know…putting that much emphasis on “it” doesn’t sound quite right, do you think? The second syllable in that line is the one with the most emphasis in the entire line, so I’d feel strange putting all the force on an ambiguous word like “it.”
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@rochellaine Oh, I just put the italics there to let you know what the difference was. So really I meant it would look like this:
“When it threw fearsome flames at me.”
You can pronounce it however you want.
@dekreel Actually I read your post in my email and didn’t even see the italics before answering. 😀 The way the line is structured puts the most emphasis on the second syllable, while the fourth and sixth syllables have a little less emphasis and the eight syllable has the least emphasis besides the non-accented syllables in between. (At least, that’s the way it reads to me.)
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@ariel-ashira But, if you like, you could just imagine that I go around yelling “Sylvester – Sylvester!” all the time. 😀 😀 😀 Maybe I know someone named Sylvester and he’s missing? So I call him all the time, but he never answers.
Which explanation do you prefer?
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@rochellaine I think dragons might still exist some places on the earth, and I do believe that there used to be lots of them. But dragons are viewed kind of like unicorns are. Maybe there were unicorns as well? 🙂
"In a mask, was he?"
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@rochellaine. Well, sometimes my cousins call me Sylvester, so maybe you are calling me.;)"In a mask, was he?"
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