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@emily @shannon @sam-kowal @princessfoo @catwing @daeus @aratrea @introvert_girl @jenwriter17 @jane-maree @other-kapeefers
I have decided that my Dr Who novella would probably be a lot better in first-person POV, so I have decided to basically rewrite the whole thing. Except I have never written anything in first person before (other than in my diaries). Any advice on first person? Anything I need to know?
Quick note: The main character is an English college student who is studying to be a journalist. He met the Doctor when he mistook the TARDIS (the Doctor’s time machine) as an interactive museum piece, and he was whisked away into space. So when he comes back to Earth, he writes about it.
ALSO, I am writing sort of an introduction or prologue or something that’s also from his point of view, but it is looking quite terrible. It’s not done yet, actually. Can you critique it? Here it is:
Where do I start? What do I say? How do I describe this intriguing experience? It’s not easy, my subject being an outer-space adventure. As a journalist, I suppose I could publish this story, but nobody would believe me. So I’ll just write it personally. Who knows, I might publish it anyway. Just not for the newspapers.
My name is Alfred Jon Davison. I’m studying writing at a university. And this is certainly given me a whole lot to write about. I don’t know if I’ll be able to write about anything else anymore. At least not for a long time. I suppose that would put a dip in my grades.
I wonder how many other people in the world (or should I say Universe) can relate to my experience, were swept away from their world without warning.
What do you think? Anything I need to consider? Add? Take off? Tweak?
You can pronounce it however you want.
@dekreel I really like Alfred’s voice, which is especially important in something told in first person. 😉
My tops tips are to be really sensitive to the five senses. While these details are important in any POV, I think it can really shine in first. Especially touch/textures, taste and smells, which I find are often overlooked.
Also, first is a great way to get inside the character’s head, and show the readers how they think, what they feel, and why the react the way they do. Your narrator is your audience’s eyes and ears into the happenings of the story. Use that to your advantage!
I find it a bit difficult to write scenes in first that have a lot of characters present, so I’d keep an eye out for those. They can be tricky to get right. (But maybe no one else has this problem?)And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.
I really liked Alfred’s voice too. I only write in first, so I am not exactly sure how it is different than third, but just first is really where the personality of the character comes out. @introvert_girl summed it up pretty well.
The only thing I would change is I’m studying writing in a university. I don’t think you can study “writing”. It just doesn’t sound right to me. I would just change it to, I’m studying journalism in a university.
@dekreel I don’t usually write in first, but I just finished a 100k novel in first, so I learnt a thing or do whilst I did.
-its a lot more limited, but a lot more intimate, so you end up feeling very close to the character.
-as someone already said, make good use of the five senses, especially touch and taste and smell.
-Give us your characters thoughts but don’t overload.
I like your introduction too and I like the chatty style. I would just suggest that you keep that style up as you write otherwise we’ll be confused by the fact that you started one way and ended another way
I hope this makes sense. I’m very tired and not thinking straight 🙂
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
@dekreel One thing I noticed is that most of your sentences are very similar in length. It would help to vary that up a bit. Have some run-on sentences and some normal and some very short.
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@dekreel
Well, first person is more direct, and more conversational. You can use the character’s thoughts to great effect, just don’t overload them like I first did writing first person (pages of their thoughts, with no story happening)AS for the prologue… actually, I think it’s good.
“And this certainly is” should be “And this certainly has”
Maybe don’t mention his grades dropping, unless he’s really worried about that.Anyway, nice work 🙂
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@dekreel That’s good! I’ve only written a few school things in first person, so I don’t know a ton about it. Anyway, everybody else already seems to have said everything. XD
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@dekreel, I have very few suggestions for you. I like the prologue thingy a lot!
I actually just switched to first person in my story too, so I’m kinda in the same boat as you…
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