Finding Secrets~ To Uncover A Synopsis

I’m gonna tag @daeus because he’ll probably be able to tell you more than I can.

In my opinion, this is a bit too long, and it reveals a bit too much about the story. I can’t tell you how or where to cut, but that’s just my thought. You want to keep a bit of the story to reveal later, right?

@catwing I like it! Maybe add a sentence at the end. It does seem a little abrupt. Other than that it’s great!

@catwing Yes, it is better. May I make a couple more suggestions? *does it anyway* 😉

I’d remove “you could even say they were abnormal” because it’s redundant with the previous sentence.
Good job using short sentences, but too many at once makes it too bitty – there’s a balance. 🙂
For example, the last two sentences. As written, they would read better as one. But if you want to keep it two, then I’d change “As they try to…” to “And can they…” I’ll make these suggestion edits in the actual synopsis so you can see what I mean. 🙂

You Were Called By The King
Best friends Jack, Alex, Cele, John, Chase and Amelia are not normal. Even before they met a mysterious cloaked messenger. They must save Allore by finding three jewels and giving them to the king, who was a tyrant. A tyrant who died hundreds of years ago. Or was he? What do the jewels do? How do they save Allore? As they journey secrets are uncovered. Secrets that some people would rather stay hidden – even some secrets of their own. Can their friendship survive? And can they save Allore from falling into the sea?

Also, I noticed that two names start with A, two with C and two with J – is that significant, or just a coincidence? 😀

• This reply was modified 7 years, 1 month ago by Louise Fowler.

@seekjustice You made sense. 😉 And yes, I agree. But not knowing who the main character(s) is/are (or if they’re all main characters), I didn’t comment on it.

@catwing First of all, go get a copy of How To Write A Sizzling Synopsis. It’s a very good book.

That said, here are a few tips to get you started. I’m working off your most recent synopsis.

1. Yes, use as few names as possible. Say “main character and his five friends” or something like that.
2. When you say these people are not normal–even abnormal–that’s the right idea for how to start off a synopsis. However, I think you can make it more punchy. Give the reader a stronger emotional attachment right away. For example, “Jack and his friends are treated by their neighbors as outcasts.” Based off that, I’d write the following sentence as something like: “When a mysterious cloaked stranger brings them a message from a long-dead tyrant, things only get worse.” Now, for these examples, I’m assuming things about your characters and their situation, but I’m just trying to give you a basic framework and you can work around that.
3. Moving on to the next part of your synopsis, I see that a lot of the lines could be condensed into one. I’d say that holds true for most of your synopsis. As you’ve noticed, I’ve already fit in the part about the long dead tyrant above. Here’s how I might condense the rest of it. “Embarking out into a wilderness of adventure, the six friends search for the lost jewels legend says can save their beloved country from skinking into the sea.”
4. As a general rule for a synopsis, whenever you state the actions your characters are taking to save the day, you want to immediately state what get’s in the way. I’m assuming there’s some sort of antagonist to this story, so I’ll make up a good suspenseful line here. “But Jack and his friends aren’t the only ones searching for the mythical jewels.”
5. Finally, we end by making it seem like the friends could fail. This is what comes to mind. “The world holds many secrets and there are those who would kill to keep those secrets hidden. The worst threat the friends face, however, are the secrets of their own past. If their friendship falls apart the continent is doomed, and that is just what is happening…”

So, all in all, we get this:

Jack and his five friends are treated by their neighbors as outcasts. When a mysterious cloaked stranger brings them a message from a long-dead tyrant, things only get worse. Embarking out into a wilderness of adventure, the six friends search for the lost jewels legend says can save their beloved country from skinking into the sea. But Jack and his friends aren’t the only ones searching for the mythical jewels. The world holds many secrets and there are those who would kill to keep those secrets hidden. The worst threat the friends face, however, are the secrets of their own past. If their friendship falls apart the continent is doomed, and that is just what is happening…

Not perfect, but pretty good I think. I just realized I forgot to mention that there was a seventh guy they needed. Oh, well. Actually, you really don’t need to include that in your synopsis. The goal of a synopsis is simply to get the reader to buy. All of the cool plot twists and such can be left for the book.

All that said, get How To Write A Sizzling Synopsis.