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Hi everyone! Over the summer I wrote a 30,000 word fanfiction — longest completed writing project ever! Yay.
Anyhow, I’m revising it and publishing it weekly on Wattpad. The main element of this narrative (as it is for many fiction stories) is dialogue, and I was struck by how hard it is to get it balanced/realistic.
I think one of my main problems is tag lines, because I guess I feel that every time something is said, the character has some sort of reaction, and I want to display that, but I am not sure I am overdoing it.
Do you have any tips on how you learned to write dialogue? And what would your advice be for taglines/reactions in between the words that are spoken?
It's g-h, 2-4-6-8 twice, three 9's
literatureforthelight.wordpress.comFirst things that come to mind:
If a conversation is only between two characters, you don’t have to have a tagline every time. For example:
“I love this soup,” said Bill.
“Thanks,” Karen replied. “It was my mother’s recipe.”
“Did you have this a lot growing up?”
“Yes, we did.”
Since it’s only the two characters, you can easily follow the conversation. But don’t do this for too long, otherwise readers will lose track of who’s speaking.As for reactions and things like that, you can break up the line of dialogue to add some variety. So instead of just:
“Hello, my name is Bill. Nice to meet you.” Bill held out his hand to shake.
You can do:
“Hello, my name is Bill.” He held out his hand to shake. “Nice to meet you.”Another thing I’ve noticed in some of the writing I’ve read (and possibly in my own) is detached voices. Usually when a new character is introduced. Sometimes they’re not described before they speak, so this voice kind of appears out of nowhere, but we don’t have a person to match it to. Like this:
“Ah, here’s Karen,” Bill said. “How are you?”
“I’m fine.”
We weren’t shown a new person entered the room, we only know because someone spoke to them and they replied. I don’t know what other readers feel about this, but I like to have described the physical appearance of a character before they speak.I hope this can be of some help. It’s pretty hard to find the balance between dialogue and action, but if there’s variety in your writing, I reckon you’re on the right track. 🙂
Currently reading Les Miserables
@gh24682468999 For me, it really helps to record a conversation, and then later write it out, including all the “ums” and “uhs” and such. And you could also write out how the people you were recording reacted while talking with each other. Also, if I know someone with a similar personality as the character that’s speaking, I might imagine what they’d say, and how they would react to the conversation, and then write that.
That’s probably not very helpful, but there’s my advice!
INFJ ~ 4w5
aldarley.wordpress.comI’m definitely not the best person to help out on this, because I struggle with it too, but something that I’ve picked up while being on KP is the concept of “show not tell”, something that helps to infuse dialogue with physical actions, emotions, or facial expressions.
Think about your characters. When they’re angry, do they clench their fists? Do their cheeks turn red? How do they react? Making the connection between how someone feels during a conversation and how our human bodies react to that emotion is important, not just because it’s realistic, but also because it brings a bit of movement to what would otherwise be a very flat, boring conversation.
Again…I’m no expert on this, but as I understand it, that’s the concept. @daeus or @kate-flournoy Would be able to explain it better.
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
@gh24682468999 I support what @perfectfifths said. It sounds though like your main problem is not that you aren’t showing reactions, but that you feel like you have too many and it’s cluttering your prose.
I assume you’re using action tags (i.e. Sam put on his glasses. “Don’t I look cool in these?”)
Action tags are extremely helpful to a story. You need to show people’s body language and their reactions for the scene to come alive. If you’re having a problem with this, it’s probably just that your dialogue is too choppy. Like this:
Sam put on his glasses. “Don’t I look cool in these?”
His mother looked up. “Yes, son.”
“You really mean it?” Sam quirked an eyebrow.
His mother closed her book, giving him his full attention. “Yes, I really do.”
Sam smiled. “Thanks!”All of this body language is insightful and deserves to stay, but the pacing is just way too choppy. It needs more diversity. Like:
Sam put on his glasses. “Don’t I look cool in these?”
His mother looked up, blinking. “Mmm? Oh, yes son.”
His mother often answered like that, as if she hadn’t thought through her response. Sam leaned forward. “Really mom?” Last time he had boght glasses, she had told him the same thing, but the other kids thought they looked silly.
She put down her travel magazine and gave him her full attention. “Yes,” she said with a firm nod, “I mean it entirely.”
Sam smiled. “Thanks”Does that help?
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@gh24682468999 what they said. 😉
@perfectfifths Yes, it helps, thanks 🙂 I feel like my writing would flow better if I could do the thing without taglines, but every other line some character has to have a reaction… and it makes me annoyed at myself.
It's g-h, 2-4-6-8 twice, three 9's
literatureforthelight.wordpress.com@epicaddie2 No, it’s definitely helpful. It’s an interesting way to think about it actually, since I feel like a lot of actual conversations have small talk that wouldn’t have a place in a story when you’re trying to move the plot forward. I’m not sure about having characters saying “um” a lot when they’re speaking. I’ve written some conversations that are supposed to be awkward, but then I put in “um”s and then I feel like I’m overdoing it. Do you do use it a lot?
It's g-h, 2-4-6-8 twice, three 9's
literatureforthelight.wordpress.com@that_writer_girl_99 Thanks for the advice! I’ll keep that in mind.
It's g-h, 2-4-6-8 twice, three 9's
literatureforthelight.wordpress.com@daeus Yes, it definitely helps! The contrast between the two scenarios is really cool. Thanks 🙂
It's g-h, 2-4-6-8 twice, three 9's
literatureforthelight.wordpress.com@gh24682468999 I don’t use it very often, usually only with specific characters, since it can be kind of annoying for the reader
INFJ ~ 4w5
aldarley.wordpress.com@gh24682468999 Woah…nice long tag. 😛
Well…I’m not quite sure how to help you here–dialogue has usually been natural for me. I learned mostly by observation in reading. Some books have some really good dialogue, and somehow, when I was ten, managed to soak that up.
So I guess what I’m saying here is that definitely observing what other writers have done, studying other dialogues and seeing why they work. Not laboriously, of course. Just as an as-you-go kind of thing.
You know what I mean?
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What they said 😉. I will merely say that I wish you luck on your dialogue endeavor.
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