Unrealistic Romance

I’ve not read a ton of romance novels (none, in fact, unless you count Austen and some of her contemporaries) but I’ve read too many stories to count that have love stories in them. And thus far, I have not encountered the pine needles and cedar shavings thing. Lucky me, right?
Now, I write fantasy, so a lot of my thought process works towards that mindset. Allow me to defend physical fitness in male protagonists. Not that every hero should be a superhero with bulging muscles, or that every heroine should be a paragon of beauty, but there is a practical reason, I believe, that most (fantasy) heroes are physically fit. For one thing, fantasy worlds are not very conducive to laziness in an exercise regimen. Every fantasy hero at one point or another will have to go into battle, and he knows it. And if the only thing standing between you and the guy trying to chop off your head is your own strength, I think most sane people would be afraid to be less than physically fit. Also, we must take into account that little boys growing up in troubled, warlike times will be trained in arms from a very young age, and the exercises they are made to undergo will quickly whittle them down to size if they are fat, or quickly build meat and muscle on their bones if they are stick thin.
And then there is the writing aspect of it. If you see this guy with his stomach hanging over his belt, his round face red from the exertion of moving, his sword trailing on the ground, his shield hanging limp from his pudgy arm, you aren’t automatically going to think “Wow! He’s really the dragonslaying type!” In fact, your reaction would be more likely “What a lazy slob! What’s he doing out here when there are dragons to be slain? Tell him to go spend some time at the YMCA! (or whatever the fantasy equivalent is)”. Even if this guy really is the dragonslaying type inside. Somehow I don’t think he would be, though, because your habits of exercise and hygiene tell a lot about what you are and what you care about inside.
As an interesting side note, have you noticed that male authors tend to write amazingly beautiful women, and female authors tend to write stunningly handsome men? I can only think of a few off the top of my head, but that seems to be more or less the case. Isn’t that interesting?
One of the things I find annoying in books, which sort of ties in with what you were saying, is how all the villains are physically ugly. I mean, sometimes you do it to make a point, and I have done it, and anticipate doing it in the future, because villains can certainly be ugly just like anybody else can, but when every villain is old and wrinkled and hunchbacked and walks with a shuffling stoop, it grates on my nerves. Even when they all have hawklike eyes, hooked noses, and little pointed black mustaches. How evil or good a person is is not determined by their looks. You can make someone look evil even if they are physically very handsome— or beautiful. And vice versa.
By the tag for this post, I thought you were going to mention love at first sight, which is another thing that really annoys me. I don’t know that I’ve ever come into contact with it outside little girl fairytales, but just the thought of it makes me sick. I mean, seriously. Love?> At first sight? Really, people. Butterflies at first sight, maybe, but not love. It’s too ridiculous to even merit discussion. (And this from a person who will discuss practically anything). Good topic.

Remind me, what’s dystopian again? Is it the genre where the government basically has control of everything? Just curious, and couldn’t remember.
That’s an intriguing point you made about characters being more likeable if they are closer to perfect. I can definitely see where you are coming from, but how far would you carry that? Personally, I don’t think it would be a very good idea to make any characters near perfect, or possessed of only one major fault. Characters are people, after all, and every person, no matter how great or righteous or self-controlled, is going to have an sizable array of minor faults and at least— at least— one major fault. I think what makes a character good in his personality (sorry, most of my characters are men, so I tend to think of characters in general as men) is what he desires to be. If he can see his faults and acknowledge them, and in his heart search earnestly and try to do what was right, I think that would make him a ‘good’ character, even if he has serious faults. Does that make any sense at all?

Thanks for the quick definition— I think I get it now.
Yes, I agree one hundred percent with what you said about perfect characters.
Books without hardships? *Shudders*. Disgusting. A perfect story where everything is just hunky dory all the time would be worse even than a character that way.
And now we are out of a discussion. Can you think of any other aspects of this to bring out?

But the story of the fat guy on the battlefield hasn’t been told yet.

The story of the lass ’round the corner of the inn in the shadow of the castle with the rotting teeth hasn’t been seen.

I tell you what, I’ve seen the handsome knight and beautiful prince kiss enough to where THAT holds no intrinsic value to me. I’d like to see something new.

You’re absolutely right, monotonous is just the word. And now is a great time to think outside the box. Other readers are tired of the same stuff over and over. It just takes a lot to really find a plotline that’s different and still rings true. I hate saying the old “write what you know” thing, but personal experience is a great place to draw from with characters.

So yeah. Different is good. Different brings new things. And new things not only bring new meaning, but are also good for marketing purposes, so that’s a plus. 😛

One interesting aspect of romance is the part readers are rarely shown. The ‘after marriage’ aspect. Most stories focus on the engagement, or sometimes go up to the wedding, but not many (that I’ve seen anyway) continue ‘romance’ after marriage, showing what happens then. True, that won’t always fit into stories, but I wouldn’t mind seeing the change of relationship sometimes. 🙂

I rarely read a pure romance book, though some books I read do have romance in them. What I like to see is the courtship process. With the guy getting to know the girl in a realistic setting, and the story focusing on the protection and respect of the man for the girl he loves, and the girl’s respect and encouragement of the man (instead of a whole bunch of dreamy-eye conversations in the moonlight). I loved the romance portrayed in the first two Eyes of E’veria books by Serena Chase.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by Hope Ann.

Oh yes, I couldn’t agree more. Some of the challenges I like in writing my own books are making the love stories (every one of my books is a love story to some extent, though not what you would consider a romance) as fresh and original as possible. My first book (The one that I would still acknowledge to be mine, that is) had a pretty ordinary, cliched love story that to me now seems just ho hum, and I’m definitely going to be working on it, but now I’ve really gotten into breaking the mold on love stories as well as a ton of other stereotypes. One thing I’d like to see more of, and am definitely writing, is what Hannah mentioned— characters married in the beginning, not necessarily loving each other, and getting to know each other afterwards. I want to see the political marriages, the marriages made for convenience, or wealth, or some practical reason that had nothing to do with love, and then I want to see love come after they are already bound to each other.
I’ll tell you what I’d really like to see. You know that cliche where a marriage has been planned from the cradle, and the man ends up breaking away from his awful, cruel parents’ wishes and marrying the girl of his dreams and living happily ever after? Well, I’d like to see the man forced to marry the girl his parents marked out for him, maybe even when he was already ‘in love’ with another girl whom he thought was perfect, and find out after a few months or years of marriage to the girl of his parents’ choice that she really wasn’t such an ogre after all. One example of this kind of love story (though there are differences in the way that it came about) is the love story in Baroness Orczy’s ‘The Scarlet Pimpernel’, if you’ve read it.
I could go on and on and on about this stuff, so don’t let me, but I will add this: Love stories are so much stronger when you carry the story beyond the wedding, and into actual marriage. Because let me tell you right now, no one REPEAT, NO ONE, ever truly ‘lives happily ever after’. It just doesn’t happen. So show me your newly married couple in their first quarrel, and show me how they make up, and how their love is stronger for it. Show me the wife learning to serve her husband in the everyday monotony of real life, and show me the ways she learns to support him, and help him in the small things that make it easier for him to do whatever he does to support her. Show me how much stronger their love can be when it is built on practical, common-sensical (not a word, I know) affection as well as ‘romance’.
Whew! That was long. Anyway. I’m finished with my lecture. I just had to get that off my chest. 😀