Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › General Writing Discussions › Sneak preview of Tomorrow’s War
- This topic has 12 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 5 months ago by Euodia.
-
AuthorPosts
-
May 23, 2023 at 3:46 pm #144737
So I’m sharing the first chapter of my book XD Note this is the rough, rough draft so uh… don’t expect too much XD
Chapter 1
Alexa
I crept my way down the city sidewalk, lurking in the shadows. I watched as a patrol drone made its way down the street. I studied my surroundings and ducked into an alley, pulling out a key from my back pocket. The drone turned to scan the alley; I quickly moved to the shadows. I let out a sigh of relief when the drone passed.
After I made sure the drone had left, I went back to walking. The alley was dim, and making my way through without tripping over something was challenging. In such a big city, an alley like this wouldn’t even be noticed, especially this late at night.
At the end of the alley, a piece of scrap metal leaned up against one of the walls. With one big push, I moved it out of the way to reveal a door. The door looked like a lot of the doors you would normally see around the city: white frame with tons of wires and metal plates. But the part that usually lit up had been gutted for safety reasons.
I swiped the key I had been holding this whole time into the door’s keypad, and I was about to put in a password when I heard something. I was late to the meeting, so there was little chance that one of the students had come late too. I took a glance around the alley; I noticed a little screw rolling around on the concrete ground, but I didn’t see anyone. When I was sure there was no one, I turned and went back to the keypad.
“You’re late.”
My heart stopped, and no part of my body could move. I wanted to let out a scream, but it would only make the situation worse. I finally found the courage to look behind me, and when I did my worries left. It was just John.
“You shouldn’t scare people like that,” I said, gasping for breath. “I could have screamed, and I would have given us away.”
I instantly regretted what I said, because I knew what John would say.
“Speaking of which–” I turned away from him and rolled my eyes while I put in my password. “You can’t just turn away from it, Alex! It’s getting more and more dangerous every day!”
“I won’t stop the Bible study. We are getting more believers every day. We can’t stop!”
“And with more believers comes more danger. Why don’t we give them all the Bibles and let them study on their own?”
“Because a lot of these people have so many questions.” I was starting to get angry with every sentence that came out of John’s mouth. “I was the one chosen to lead this Bible study after… after,” my voice started to become shaky and a few tears ran down my face.
“After Mr. and Mrs. Williams died. I’m sorry, I just don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”
By now, I had put my password in and the door started to answer. I wiped the tears off my face, and in a quiet voice I said, “We should talk about this inside, where we won’t get overheard.”
As the door opened, I prepared myself to face the students without showing my worry, but when the gap in the doors widened, I saw the horror that lay inside.
I gasped, stepping into the room. Bookshelves that once held devotions were tipped over and the books lay on the ground, some torn to shreds. The Cross that once hung on one side of the room was now laying on the ground. And every part of the room looked like a tornado went through it, but the real horror of the thing that would haunt me in my sleep was what was missing. I had arrived late because of the extra drones flying around the area. I was forced to slow my pace to sneak around them and that one mistake would cost twenty-one people their lives and would save me and John’s.
I walked over to one of the dismantled bookshelves and picked up a note that had been laying there.
Due to not following the supreme government’s rule, twenty-one criminals have been taken captive, but none of them claim to know the destination of Alexa Montgomery.
Supreme Police
“If I had arrived earlier, they would have gotten me instead of these innocent people.” I glanced at John, my knees feeling weak and my fists clenched.
“It’s not your fault, Alex!” John walked over to me.
“It will be if I stay!” I held up my arms to stop John from coming any closer. I didn’t want any sympathy. All I wanted was to leave before anyone else died.
“You should go.” I gestured for John to leave.
“And where will you go?!”“Faraway,” I replied in a shaky voice. I held his gaze. I wasn’t budging on this matter.
“But you can’t.”
I knew John would try to stop me, but I wasn’t going to let him die too. I stuffed some of the Bibles in my bag just in case and bolted out of the building before John could stop me. I wouldn’t put anyone else in danger, not again.
As I walked through the streets of Megatron City, drones and robots patrolled the sidewalks. It took me thirty minutes to walk just one block because of them. With every step I took, I would wonder who might be watching me. I had to get out of this giant city, but it felt like some kind of maze where the obstacles would cost me either death or life in prison.
When I reached the corner of the next block, I spotted something and I watched as it got closer and closer. It looked almost like a person, someone big and large. The eyes were almost glowing, and the closer it got, the more my hands trembled.
I sensed a quick movement behind me, but I couldn’t focus on that because the shadow was getting nearer, and I realized it wasn’t a person, but a robot. A robot who was creeping towards me and would no doubt kill me in only a few seconds.
I glanced around and saw more robots coming at me from every direction except behind me, where I had seen another more stealthy movement. I had two options: try to fight the robots or turn and run in the direction of whatever mystery was behind me. Only one of those decisions had a chance of survival.
With one big turn, I ran in the opposite direction, but I realized that was a mistake because I found myself in an alley. “This is it,” I said in a low whisper.
The robots were closing in and I was about to meet my end. But like a ghost, I saw someone running on the rooftop of a low building next to me. The person seem to glide down, but after looking more closely I realized the person was climbing down one of the ladders that hung onto the building. Before I could figure out who the mystery person was, he or she held out a hand to me.
“Grab my hand!” the mystery person yelled.
“How do I know I can trust you?” I held back.
“Well, how can I trust you? We’re both taking a chance, but if you don’t take that chance,” the mystery person gestured toward the robots that were getting closer. “You die.”
By now I could see the person clearly. She looked to be a younger girl–eighteen or nineteen. She wore a black hoodie that blended invisibly into the night sky and covered most of her hair, except for a strand of light blond that seeped through the covering. Her brown eyes glimmered in comparison to the darkness around her. But as I searched her face, I could see a girl who looked hurt, like her eyes had cried many tears, and she was searching for something that she was yet to find.
“Are you coming, or not?!”
Her voice took me out of my deep thought and I realized that I better hurry up and get out of there. I grabbed her hand and climbed onto the ladder. As I climbed, I didn’t dare look down; I didn’t want to know what was below or who might be following me. By the time I reached the top, I stopped and took in my surroundings.
“Come on!” The girl yelled.
I followed behind her until we reached an old shed-like room on top of the building. This building must have been an older building because nowadays, buildings were much taller and had no flat surface, just a point at the top. She opened the door and held it open for me. I shot her a skeptical glance and reluctantly went into the room. I took a seat on a bucket and watched as the girl locked the door. She turned and looked at me and a smile spread across her face.
“I’m Skylar, and you are?”
“Alex,” I said hesitantly. “Who are you?”
“A rebel.” Skylar flicked on a lamp that lit the whole room and revealed papers taped all over the walls. They appeared to be maps and documents, some with the words Supreme Government and others with the word “rebels” written all over them. “And I won’t stop until the Supreme Leader pays for his crimes.”
“When you say pay, do you mean death?”
“He killed millions. His life will save more than it will hurt.” Skylar said it with no guilt or shame. “Why were you running from the robots?”
“I’m being chased for running an illegal Bible study. I need to get out of this city, but I don’t know where to go.”Skylar looked at one of the maps and then at me with a clever smile.
“I think that you and I should go here,” Skylar pointed to the middle of the map. She was pointing at the woods–the abandoned woods.
“Why there? No one ever goes in there, not even the government.”
“That’s why we should go there. Whatever’s there, the government doesn’t want to be found. This is why they guard the outside but never go inside. I suspect there’s an old base in there.”
“Why did the government abandon the base?”
“That’s what I want to know.”
“I don’t know… it sounds risky.”
“The woods are ginormous! They would never know you were in there! It’s perfect!” Skylar looked at me, awaiting my response.
“Okay.”
I still wasn’t sure, but it seemed like my only option, and I couldn’t help but feel that God was going to have me do something–something big.
Do me a favor…. Tell Cress I meant it
-ThorneMay 25, 2023 at 9:06 pm #145183hEEY @smiley good job!! First off, I love the names Skylar and Alexa, great choices. I also loved the detail that none of the captives revealed Alexa under questioning.
We gotta tag people so they’ll see this 😉
@freedomwriter76 @keilah-h @hybridlore @kyronthearcanin @euodia-vision Because you guys are cool… soooo… XD
“Everything is a mountain”
May 25, 2023 at 9:30 pm #145185thanks so much!!!! XD So funny story about those names
both of my friends are writing stories and in their books are two guys named Alex and Skylar and when I was coming up with the names I didn’t even think about that XD I love that too
and thanks (I really should have tagged people XD)
Do me a favor…. Tell Cress I meant it
-ThorneMay 26, 2023 at 7:37 am #145193*bows* Why thank you! XDXD
I loved this! ❤️❤️I agree with Whaley, I love the names. Also, the way you combined a futuristic world with something like the old Bible meetings when the Nazis were taking over in Germany (at least that’s the first thing that came to my mind)… It was just amazing! I would totally read this if it ever got published. 😉 Keep up the good work!
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
May 26, 2023 at 9:20 am #145198Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@whalekeeper tysm for tagging me!!!! ❤️❤️ and thx for saying i’m cool XD🤣
@SMILEY AHHHHH, GIRLLLLLLLLL, I LOVE THIS SO MUCHHHHHHHH!!!!! This kinda reminds me of Nazi Germany and USSR Russia…and the HISTORY NERD IN ME IS SO COMING OUT RIGHT NOW, AHHHH!!!! XDBut it’s also it’s own thing and special, and I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍
I’d TOTALLY read this if it was on the bookshelves, ahhh!!!!!! This is the kinda Sci-Fi/Dystopian novel I can get behind!!!! ✨✨✨✨
May 26, 2023 at 9:35 am #145199@kyronthearcanin @freedomwriter76
Thanks soooo much XD
It does have a lot in common with the holocaust and all of that
Thanks so much, I’ll probably put another chapter up here soon
Thanks for all the encouragement!!!!
Do me a favor…. Tell Cress I meant it
-ThorneMay 26, 2023 at 10:29 am #145207Thanks!! 😅
Wow this is awesome!! Good job!!!!! 😁 Can’t wait for the next chapter *sighs* all these cliffhangers 🤦♀️🤣
"Be careful, for writing books is endless, and much study wears you out." Eccl. 12:12
May 26, 2023 at 11:03 am #145222Oh, why thank youuu 😂
Girl, girl, GIRL! I LOVE this! I agree with everyone about how it seems similar to Nazis Germany!!!! Can’t wait to read more!
I rolled the log over and underneath was a tiny little stick and I was like, "That log had a child
May 26, 2023 at 2:55 pm #145277@whalekeeper @euodia-vision @hybridlore @freedomwriter76
Here is the second chapter
Chapter 2
Tristan
The gunshots fired in my head. I watched helplessly as my parents and my sister fell to the streets right in front of me with nothing I could do.
“No!” my yell did nothing. They were gone, and they would always be gone. The only thing my shout did was wake me up from my terrible nightmare.
I looked at the clock next to my bed; it was still the middle of the night. But I was wide awake, and I couldn’t go back to sleep and risk having another dream. Even awake, the scene still ran through my head–or what I assumed the scene would look like.
I wasn’t there when my family was taken from me. I wasn’t there when the government took all I had! I threw my clock across the room in a rage. I couldn’t stand this pain and grief, and it was from one person. I looked at my computer on my desk and got an idea.
I pressed the computer keys; it felt like I was opening a vault. Inside the vault were the answers I needed, the answers that would bring me one step closer to revenge.
The computer screen read success. I did it; I hacked into the government’s files and the information that they had kept closed off, and it had been simpler than I had expected.
I scanned every page of information, scribbling them down into a notebook. By the time I finished, it was sunrise, and the peacefulness of the morning almost felt like congratulations from the world for successfully hacking into the government’s information. But like a storm approaching a peaceful sky, a loud noise broke the silence. I heard a few loud knocks on the house door and a voice that would change my life forever.
“This is the Supreme Military. We are here for the arrest of everyone in this household for hacking into the government’s software!”
I could hear the screams of my aunt and shouts of my uncle and the closing of the handcuffs. I wanted to go and rescue them, but if this information could help end the government, I had to keep it safe.
I scanned my room and locked my eyes on my bedroom window. Loud footsteps pounded up the stairs. With one big leap, I jumped out of the window. I hit the ground hard, but I didn’t have time to worry about the pain; I had to keep going.
While I ran, I flipped through my notebook and found a page that held my next location. The woods. There were plenty of trees on this planet, but only one group of woods held any importance. The yells of the guards faded with every step further.
Growing up without my parents or my sister, I was constantly feeling alone. I had my aunt and uncle, but they were never there emotionally. They had no experience in raising a child. They gave me a home and food, which I was grateful for, but I was left to figure out the rest on my own. Now here I was, miles away from the only place I had ever known, and the more I walked the more alone I truly felt.
When I finally felt like I put enough distance between me and the guards, I ducked behind a rock. Looking through my notebook, I tried to find a destination where I could hide out until I devised a plan.
As I flipped through the pages, one destination stood out to me. It was an abandoned base, but the weird thing about it was that it was never made clear whether it belonged to the government or someone else. I looked around the horizon and realized that even this notebook of incriminating information could never be enough to stop the entire government on my own. I would need help.
After reaching the woods, I realized that the place wasn’t silent like I thought it would be. Instead, I heard several noises and footsteps. I had always been a computer and science nerd, but when it came to the outdoors I didn’t have a chance.
Finding shelter under a rock, I made a fire and then a torch, which lit the dim surroundings. I hadn’t noticed how dark it was until I saw the light in comparison. Noises and shadows were in the darkness, and I realized I was the complete opposite of alone.
I got up and moved my torch closer to the noises. It was probably a mistake, but I didn’t care. I started walking into the bushes, and suddenly I was knocked down to the ground. I looked up to see two girls standing in front of me.
“Who are you?” the taller girl asked.
“Why should I tell you?!”
“Because we have no reason to trust you,” the tall girl said sharply. This conversation had gotten off to a rough start.
“Fine I’m Tristan, I’m here because there’s information here, and that’s all I can say.”
The girls shared a look and then turned to look at me.
“Alright, we need help making a base camp,” the taller one stated. “Oh and by the way I’m Alex and this is Skylar,”
“Yeah… I can’t help you there,” I gave a chuckle.
Skylar let out a laugh but got a look from Alex.
“Well, now’s the time to learn,” Alex said sternly and then walked away.
I looked at her. “Why should I?”
“You said it yourself you don’t know how to do that stuff, so how are you going to manage to survive without us?”
I didn’t say anything, she had a point. “Fine,”
“Good,” Alex gave a clever smile. “Skylar and you can make some tents,”
Skylar gave a smile but then went back to her serious look.
She’s not bad looking, and she seems nice. At least compared to the other one.
“We finished,” I said walking over to where Alex was standing. “And what are you doing?”
Alex turned to look at me and then at the camp in the distance. “It looks good,”
“And the other question?” I said looking at her.
“I think I found the base,”
I looked around. I don’t see anyone, maybe she’s going mad. “Where,”
Alex smiled. “Below us,”
“What?”
Alex smiled at me and then kicked the ground to reveal metal. “See?”
“Wow, so we set up camp on a building?”
“Yeah… about that, we need to move it.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes seriously, and don’t complain I have enough on my plate.” Alex turned to look at the horizon.
I could see a smile spread across her face, she seemed so content and happy even in the midst of all this.
“Alright,” I turned to walk away but stop to look at her. She seemed familiar, but I didn’t know why.
Do me a favor…. Tell Cress I meant it
-ThorneMay 26, 2023 at 3:02 pm #145278Aww Tristan!!!! 😭
"Be careful, for writing books is endless, and much study wears you out." Eccl. 12:12
May 26, 2023 at 3:20 pm #145281@smiley ooh! I’ll be sure to read it in a little bit!
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
May 26, 2023 at 3:27 pm #145286Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@smiley Aww, poor boi 😭
the guys are gonna become my favs again, i just know it XDLove it, and can’t wait for more!!!! 😍✨❤️
May 26, 2023 at 4:24 pm #145305 -
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.