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When you read my title, you may have thought, “that’s a good thing, right?”
At least, I would have.
But it’s a problem too.
So, one of my MC’s, Alwin’s, mother has for a long time just been a vague side character. She doesn’t even have a name yet!
Yesterday I started to really take a look at her, and y’all. My heart was broken. She is much deeper than I thought!
Now we come to the first place I need help with: portraying her.
She is a serf, and she is sold into that life. In truth she is searching for satisfaction, for some bit of freedom, of wholeness, of worth. She paints her face to hide the destruction of what was once very sweet beauty. She closes her eyes to the fact that every day her bondage grows heavier and instead focuses on garnering little distractions from the fact. When she does think about it however, she’s devestated – but she doesn’t know what else to do.
She can’t have any more children, but she has Alwin, and he’s her world. If it weren’t for him, she would have killed herself years ago. She doesn’t always know how to show her love, and she is sometimes on the edge of abusive, but she tries her very imperfect best.
Although she isn’t the best mother or person exactly, she plants in Alwin a hunger for something better. She wishes better for him even though she doesn’t know anything else except what she has.
A quote describing her would be where she tells her son, “Don’t let them have your soul. They’ll take it, take everything. Then they destroy you. They did it to me.”
See why she breaks my heart?!
And maybe why she’s also a little difficult to portray?
She’s faulty, and unpredictable in her expressions of feeling (whether of love, or dissatisfaction, etc.), She believes she’s worthless, and she hates it. She doesn’t believe her son is worthless, quite the opposite in fact, but she isn’t sure how to make him understand he has worth.
Second, I want some advice on her redemption, because I REALLY want to redeem her. Bring her to salvation and give her freedom, but I’m a little foggy on how that might be accomplished.
So, any thoughts, suggestions, true stories/examples, critiques, anything?
Do to clarify anything?
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
So, for tags! (Let’s see if I can remember them.) If I didn’t tag you, don’t feel like you can’t say anything, or if you know if someone who might like to help, then feel free to take them.
@freedomwriter76 @koshka @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12 @joy-caroline @power @ANYBODY
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
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@elishavet-pidyon. First of all, I’m already in love with that idea. 🥰 I’m not sure how much advice I can give in this area though. 😔 I wish I could.
His mother sounds like a character that just feels…hopeless. And I may or may not be crying over her already. 😉
Oooh this sounds so incredible first off!! You’ve already done AMAZING stuff so far!! Ugh 😭!
So, honestly it’s a little hard for me to actually give advice BUT I can say that I have a character very similar to this in my own series.
She’s not a mother, or “abusive” or even an adult for the first part of the series.
It’s Corvina, my antagonist. And while she may have a different personality from ur character (idk) what they’re struggling with sounds extremely similar if not the same.
Corvina is also one of those characters who, at the very near end of the series seems hopeless.
Thing is, as the series progressed I show a side of Corvina where the readers see “Hmm…something about her is…not so…evil.”
Theres something about her that’s redeemable.
She’s broken. Like everyone else.
and it even seems like redemption will be a bit easy to come by as the series goes on and u continue to see sides of her that open up more.
it’s like a roller coaster how I imagine it.
She starts out the antagonist. Cold, harsh. U don’t like her, or at least u don’t want to.
Shes sarcastic, cynical, she hurts November. She hurts people. Used them.
But as u begin to see her POVs u see flaws and cracks in her thinking. Or u see her through the view of others, and little idiosyncrasies that you catch and make u think “something is…odd here.”
And slowly the coaster begins to take an upward turn and you realize, this character isn’t who uou thought they are.
You want them to be different. Want them to change.
And it seems like they will as the cart continues up.
and then it reaches the peak and it seems sooo close.
and then suddenly…everything comes crashing down (at least for me)
and she seems…utterly hopeless.
now….for u, ur character might not have this huge Arc because she may not be a main character. So, because of that, imagine her having ALREADY gone thru a character arc, or most of it.
So at this point, maybe she’s just stuck in the downward point of the rollercoaster.
the part where everything’s hopeless.
Whwn Corvina gets to that place in my series, it seems like she can’t ever be saved, but…she is.
Through love. And forgiveness. And understanding.
And trust me when I say it’s not too late for your character too, because my character…well…
she accidentally does something pretty terrible….so…yea.
this may have just been a huge ramble but…maybe it helped? Idk XD
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
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Thanks, y’all! You’re really encouraging, and I’m glad you like it!
Yes, she is a bit hopeless, she knows deep in her heart that she’s headed for spiritual bankruptcy, but she’s seen so much already that she’s almost dead inside. It has a lot to do with the certain kind of things she’s involved in. Nasty, ugly words.
My sister thinks I should put in a little excerpt to illustrate a little better how everything is. Plus, you get a POV of Alwin’s, and get to see what a wonderful not-angel but hungry soul he is.
“Well, here’s Alwin,” Rupert reached up and knocked off Alwin’s cap. “Where’s your mother today, ay Alwin?”
“She’s working in the field.” Alwin bent to retrieve his cap. Myles stomped at it, nearly catching Alwin’s fingers, who jumped away, wringing his hand.
“You had company last night, didn’t you?”
Alwin froze, then rose to look Rupert dead in the eye.
“Aye. And it’s no surprise how you are turning out, with a father like that.”
Rupert narrowed his eyes. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a father.”
“If they’re anything like yours, I wouldn’t want one.”
The attack came suddenly, knocking Alwin to the ground. The two boys rolled in the dust surrounded by a ring of cheering fellows.
“That’s right! Teach him to keep his tongue!”
“Come on, Alwin, spill his rotten stuffing!”
“Ay! Watch it, he’ll bust your nose!”
“Good one! Follow it up quick.”
They broke apart, battered and dirty. Alwin fought to catch his breath, feeling as if his life had been fairly beaten out.
What if it had? Would he have spent his entire life in this?
He cast a glance at the wall.
“What’re you looking over there for?” Someone taunted him. He turned back to find Rupert leaning over him, and shrank away.
“There’s nothing better out there. The King’s a tyrant and everyone that serves him is weak and scared.” The other boy smiled at him with the pride of his knowledge. “They’re jealous. Maybe more jealous than you, pig head.”
Alwin frowned, but didn’t interrupt the other boy.
“My father says that out there, our lifestyle is against the law.”
“Maybe it should be.” Alwin muttered so Rupert wouldn’t hear him.
“They’re hypocrites. Stuck up hypocrites. They pretend they’re better than us, but they’re jealous of our freedom.”
“Are we really so free?” Alwin said louder, and this time was heard. The older boy smacked him, knocking Alwin back, then burst into laughter.
The rest of them joined in, laughing as hard as they could, forcing the ludicrous thought from their midst.
Footsteps sounded on the pavement above them, causing silence to reign again. The lads each ducked their heads and pretended to be invisible.
The footsteps passed on.
Then a quiet voice spoke. “Maybe we aren’t very free, but it’s no better out there.” Wallace came over to Alwin and helped him up.
“Thanks.”
“Sure.”
Anyway, I don’t know to what extent that would help, but at least it’s a fun excerpt!
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@elishavet-pidyon. Aww, ALWIN! 😭😭😭😭
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