Can Rejection be a Good Thing?

Rejection 

By Kayleigh Idea

Writing is an extremely personal act. We writers put our hearts and souls into the stories we write—and as a result of this, rejection cuts deep.

In fact, many writers are so scared of rejection, they never even try to put their work out there. They never submit short stories for publication or send query letters to literary agents.

And this is a big mistake—because for writers, rejection is unavoidable. If you want to get published in any form, it’s probable that you‘ll get rejected at first. That’s just the way it goes. 

On the other hand, some writers are confident, so they put themselves out there… but then the rejection comes and their hopes are shattered. They give up after only a single rejection. They assume that this means they’re a terrible writer and they’re never going to make it. But that’s not what rejection means, and that’s the wrong mindset to live by.

Now, I’m not saying you’re not allowed to cry or wish your short story was accepted. Of course not. Rejection is heartbreaking and I know that firsthand.

What I’m saying is that you can’t let rejection completely debilitate you  and stop you from writing. Instead, you should let rejection encourage you and make you more determined, so you can rise from the ashes and keep on writing.

Because, dear writers, rejection is actually a good thing. And here are my four reasons.

#1 Almost every writer experiences rejection

I say almost because I’m sure there are a few lucky writers who had it easy, but for the most part, every writer is rejected at least once—probably even your favorite author. 

Did you know that "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone" by J.K. Rowling was rejected by twelve publishers? Or that Louisa May Alcott, the author of "Little Women", when rejected was told to ‘stick to teaching?’ Or that Brandon Sanderson, one of the biggest science fiction and fantasy authors of today, wrote thirteen books that were all rejected before getting published?

I could go on and on.

Many published authors actually consider rejection as a rite of passage. When you receive your first rejection, instead of hating on yourself and your writing, think of it as something to celebrate—because you’ve made it! You’ve gone through something almost all published authors have to go through.

When these authors—who turned out to be wildly successful—were rejected, what did they do? They didn’t give up. And you shouldn't either.

#2 Rejection can make you a better writer

After receiving a rejection, we usually wallow in our emotions, feeling sorry for ourselves. While that’s completely understandable, I challenge you to do something else in the wake of your next rejection.  

After you’re done grieving,  look on the bright side and recognize some of the good that rejection actually brings—like the fact that rejection can make us better writers.

Many times a rejection will be accompanied by some feedback. Rejection can make you a better writer, when you take full advantage of that feedback and use it to improve your writing. 

Instead of reading your critiques, lamenting about how awful your writing is—try putting on a smile and realize that if you implement the feedback, you’ll be one step closer to getting accepted. This is what will ultimately make you a better writer.

#3 Rejection helps you develop a thick skin

There’s no skirting around the fact that rejection is painful—it stings even. And that’s why the purpose of this article is to try to bring a more positive perspective on rejection that will hopefully help lessen that pain.

Even though rejection can feel like a punch in the gut, we can still realize another way it’s important and healthy for us writers—because it helps us toughen up and build resilience. 

Rejection is never personal. Remember that. It’s your writing that’s being rejected—not you. And rejection does not mean you’re an awful writer or an awful person. Many times, your writing just isn’t what they’re specifically looking for. 

Rejection helps you learn not to take things personally. And this way you’ll be able to take it better if we get rejected again.

Plus, a thick skin is a good trait to have in writing—and just in life in general. 

Things don’t always go our way, we get hurt sometimes, and life can suck. But learning not to take things personally and learning to adapt, so we can move on can help in other aspects of life too.

#4 Rejection teaches patience

Along with developing a thick skin, rejection also teaches us patience. 

Don’t we all wish the first piece of writing we submitted was accepted? Although it happens to some people, most of the time that’s not the case. 

Rejection teaches patience—because if you keep working hard and continue persevering, it’s likely that one day you will get accepted. When that happens all your hard work will finally pay off and the waiting will have been worth it. Won’t getting rejected first make the acceptance more satisfying? It’ll be all the more sweeter because you persisted and continued when most writers don’t.

Learning patience through rejection will also help you focus on the long-run. Remember the words of Robert McKee, “writing is a marathon not a sprint.” Getting published takes time. You can’t expect to get everything right the first try, and the same principle applies to rejection. 

Being patient in the midst of rejection will help you remember why you’re here—why you’re even writing in the first place. Reflect on your journey so far, your goals, and how far you’ve come. 

But most of all, remember not to give up.

***

Now that I’ve hopefully convinced you of the benefits of rejection, you might be thinking, okay, sure, but how do I actually cope with rejection? 

This is a reasonable question and one I’m going to answer by delving into three tangible strategies.

#1 Take a break

This step is extremely necessary for some people. If that’s you, do it. Take a step back from your writing—whether it’s just a few days or longer—however long it takes for you to get back to the right headspace to start creating.

It’s completely okay to take this time to be sad. Even if you realize the importance of rejection, it usually still hurts. So it’s totally okay to cry, eat ice cream, and watch Netflix. Just make sure you aren’t grieving for an excessive amount of time or use it as an excuse to step away from writing forever.

You can also take this time to refill your creative well, which can be extremely rejuvenating. Read some books—they can be brand new ones or old favorites. Listen to music. Watch a movie or a TV show. Absorbing art created by other people can reinspire you, which will make it easier to come back to your own writing. 

#2 Remember why you love writing

The answer to this prompt is different for each writer. Examine what makes you love writing and continue persevering even when it’s hard.

Maybe it’s because you love sharing beautiful truths and the way you express that is by weaving these themes into your writing. Maybe it’s because you’re fascinated by the behaviors and motivations of people and writing helps you explore those. Maybe it’s a combination of a few things.

For me, I love writing because I love stories. Growing up, I was enamored by all forms of storytelling—books, movies, TV shows, musical theater, and even music… This is my reason for writing and why I love it so much. Because writing is how I tell stories.

Why do you love writing? Really think about this question, so you can get excited about writing again.

#3 Start writing again

Once you’ve taken your break, if you needed one, it’s time to sit back down at your desk and open your computer again.

At this point, you have a couple options. You can either start revising the piece that was rejected or begin an entirely new project.

If you choose the former and you received some feedback from the person who rejected your writing, take a look at your critiques and make a game plan to tackle your edits—then implement them to make your writing stronger. 

On the other hand, if you didn’t get any feedback, go and get some. If you’re unsure of where to get feedback, there are huge communities of writers online and plenty of places to receive critiques. Do your research and find the right place for you and your project.

However, this first approach doesn’t work for everyone. Sometimes, especially after a rejection, you’re just looking to start something new. And that’s completely valid. So start a new project, whether it’s a short story, a novel, or a piece of flash fiction, and remember to have fun with it.

In conclusion, rejection sucks. But shifting your perspective on rejection by realizing these key facts will ultimately help you in the long run. And using effective strategies can decrease the pain of rejection.

How do you cope with rejection?