Yo guys. Â Welcome to Kingdom Pen Radio.
In the inaugural episode of Kingdom Pen Radio, Daniel and Ezra map out an ancient Canadian love story, bash Hunger Games, give away a t-shirt, recite a culturally inaccurate Canadian poem, and generally make a mess of whatever professional reputation this show was intended to have. Â But hey, this is what writers at work look like. Â Abandon expectations, all who enter here . . .
Kingdom Pen Radio will release new episodes every Monday from now until they strap Daniel onto a platform and lock him away in a padded room some 20,000 leagues under the sea.  Once that happens, episodes will premier on Tuesdays.
FREE STUFF!!!
As you may have inferred from the all-caps two-word sentence above, this episode contains free stuff. If the aforementioned sentence was too much for your noggin, no worries. Allow us to translate: this episode contains free stuff.
Listen carefully for how you can be eligible to win said free stuff.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
- Why some people didn’t like The Hunger Games
- The four major plot points of every good story
- Cookies can be a detriment to your writing life
- How to write the ultimate Canadian love story
- What a “Moose Man” is/was.
- Canadians evolved from mooses*
- Ezra Wilkinson really, really, really needs to join the Kingdom Pen Forum
- Tom Hiddleston can pull-off antlers like it’s nobody’s business
Links and resources mentioned in this episode:
The One Year Adventure Novel Curriculum (or “Oyan” as it is affectionately called): It was actually on this student forum that Kingdom Pen got its start!
Lootcrate: Get your geek on!
Listen to Kingdom Pen Radio repeatedly for all of eternity on your choice of platforms:
Facilitate Daniel’s ability to annoy you via social media on:
Facebook (cause I’m boring)
Twitter (cause I’m a hipster)
Goodreads (cause . . . reasons)
Thanks for listening!
If you liked this episode, please give us an honest rating on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely important, as the more good ratings we get, the more people will be able to find and listen to this podcast! We really appreciate your support!Â
If you’d like to ask Daniel questions or make suggestions, sign up for our forum and interact with him on the Kingdom Pen Radio board.
Stop by next Monday for the next episode of Kingdom Pen Radio, until then,
Keep writing for Christ,
The KP Team
*This was completely and totally meant in jest. Kingdom Pen does not actually believe that Canadians evolved from mooses, nor do we accept the Darwinian Theory of Evolution. We also totally and completely understand that “mooses” is not a word, and that these majestic creatures, whether singular or plural, are referred to as “moose”. Thank you for understanding. DFTBA.Â
“Bo Bobo is Tom Hiddleston because I want to stop all the girls liking him.” YES FREAkiNG YES. *laughing so hard* “The air of New Zealand made them sheep people”? This story is the best thing ever.
And you’re gonna get the t-shirt because you’re brilliant, whichever of you said that (b/c you’re both brilliant), but I will try if I think of anything.
Who gave these boys a microphone?! I am entertained, but oh my gracious… =)
It’s scarier when you realize I’ve been working in radio for 2 years.
It is an excellent question. My suspicions are that Daniel wasn’t completely honest with his Kingdom Pen fellows.
Can you download the audio? I rather not listen to the whole thing sitting in front of the computer
Yes! If you subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, you can download each episode from there.
Yeah. What he said.
My sister and I laughed until our stomachs hurt. XD The sound effects at the beginning… the moose people… Tom Hiddleston. Gosh, you guys made my day. XD
Oh, and the ad for loot crate. My brothers are making stop motion animation Lego movies of it they liked it so much. 😛
HAAAAA I am so very glad. 😛
REALLY? Oh do please post that when they’ve done it! I would love to see that!
You’ve just received LootCrate.
I sent it over your kingdom pen email. Have fun with that. 🙂
Hi Guys,
One tip for the next podcast, I would not play background music throughout the whole thing. It made it difficult for me to focus and detracted fro the content. I would also enjoy more informative content. The story was fun though! I too am a huge fan of LES MIS! I sing it all them time. I feel really weird because one of my favorite songs to sing is Javert’s death scene. LOL! Talk about morbid!
I will tune in next week!
Blessings,
Victoria
Thanks Victoria! I’m playing around with different options with the music, so we’ll see what comes of that in the future; I appreciate you telling me though, for real.
Les Mis is awesome. I want to go back and actually read the book. I did an audio drama and saw the most recent film with Wolverine and Russel Crowe, and those were both pretty good.
Have a great week Victoria!
Oh I hope you read the book! It really was a masterpiece. It is REALLY intimidating though! Super huge. Lots of people call it “the brick” because it is so long! I mustered up the courage to read the entire thing earlier this year and I am so happy I did!
Blessings,
Victoria
I hope so too. We’ll just have to wait and see what college has to say about my reading free-time though. XD
Wow! This was great! I loved every minute of it!
Especially the part about how cookies can be a detriment to your writing life!
You guys were so funny. I’m glad kingdom pen has finally come out with kp radio!
Glad you could join in and listen!
Some people use cookies as an incentive to write. Like, the decide if they can get a word count by a certain time, then they can have a cookie. Ezra . . . hasn’t quite got himself there just yet . . . XD
I may or may not be forever confused. *thumbs up*
That’s okay. I’m sure your confusion will not deter you on your quest to become a taco.
“I want to thank my alligator Susan…”
Thanks for making my day:)
Don’t thank me.
Thank my alligator.
Susan.
And I thank my mom. Thanks mom.
And cookies.
I loved it! About the t-shirt,
How the Canadians became human,
Who knew Canadians used to have antlers?
An Antlove Story,
An antler for an antler,
MOO is for Moose, or
The Moosfits
My favorite out of your list is the Moosfits. That’s hilarious.
Okay, so for the title of the book: “Syrup is Thicker Than Water.”
Heeeeeh, nice. XD I’ll add it to the ever-growing list of titles. 😀
That… that is just too awesome for words. Thank you.
Actually no.
I am going to sue you now. You made my face hurt from laughing to much.
Kingdom Pen Radio is not liable for any discomfort initiated from prolonged happiness as a result of the consumption of it’s products.
^We should actually write that down somewhere. That’s really good.
I concur.
Oh, and now I’m trying to think of what the theme for hunger games is. Give me a bit, I’m sure I’ll figure it out.
I think Hunger Game’s problem is that is bounces between possible themes without commitment, and kinda ends up with an “Everything Stinks” sort of end-thought for the reader/viewer. It had bits of politican themage, some more surface-level survival ideas, and then lots of “There is no black and white, just gray” when you reach Mockingjay. Overall though, I don’t feel like it’s unified in it’s themescape, and that does weaken the overall experience.
I’d love to talk about it more though. I don’t hate the series at any rate. I’ll probably even be dragged to see the last movie. 😛
I think the one constant one is that you have to fight oppression wherever you find it. Even if no one else is, and even if you can’t really see the point in doing so, and even if you find out that the oppression is actually coming from what you thought were the good guys, you have to fight and keep fighting.
Tom Hiddleston as Bo Bobo needs to happen, I’m telling you. Get him on the show Daniel, I’ll make a return, and we’ll just discuss the intricacies of his character.
And now I’m almost tempted to join the KP forum…
“Do it, England,” – Hamlet.
Since I quoted Shakespeare, you now have no choice in the matter. You must join.
But my name’s not England…
If you’re gonna try and convince a guy to do something, have the decency to get his name right. I mean really…
Yeah, kingdompen. Step your game up for my totes bestie, huh.
You guys are hilarious. XD This made for quite an entertainng half-hour.
I’m looking forward to the next episode. 🙂
As for a title– a cross between “evolution” and “moose”? I can’t decide on the spelling, though. 😛
Evomoosion
Evomootion
Evo-moose-tion
Evo-moos-ion
Seriously, this was da best. 😛
The title: “Marry Me, Eh?”
XD Niiiiiiiice.
I laughed way too hard at this! I love this title idea. xD
For a title: An Unfortunate Moostake in Love
What about that, huh?
You mean “what about that, eh?” 😛
After some technical difficulties, I was finally able to listen to it. That was great. XD
How about just plain Moosetakes. Or Moose Steaks (for breakfast, perhaps?). My Dad is actually heading out to hunt moose on Friday or Saturday. I can’t wait- we’ve been living on roadkill for a while. 😀
Oh good! What technical difficulties? Was the problem on our side or on yours?
I’ll write both of them down. XD Oh yay. Roadkill is significantly less delicious than mooses.
On my end- I was using a very old device. 🙂
Well, they’re roadkill moose, so it’s okay. But we prefer ones that have been hit by smaller cars. Those hit by semis aren’t as tasty. 😛
Oh okay, good deal. I was worried there for a second. 😛
Delicious.
You guys, THAT. WAS. AWESOME!
I turned the podcast on the computer and my sister over heard you and asked, “What are you listening to?!” xD She and I couldn’t stop laughing from the moment the podcast started! It was hilarious, yet helpful!
“Cookies, I like cookies, I want the cookies.” ROFL!!! XD I have that same problem (writer that doesn’t write much) xD
And the antlers on your banner don’t belong to moose, they belong to deer.
We didn’t promise perfection. XD
In fact, I’m fairly certain that perfection was perhaps the furthest things from our minds.
As far as I could tell we were shooting for mediocre.
And then we missed and now you’ve got whatever this podcast is.
What is this perfection that you speak of?
This podcast is beautiful, that’s what it is.
I’ve… never been more confused in my life. But I’ve also never laughed so hard, either.
About the t-shirt contest, my title idea is:
‘Of Moose, Men, and Kingdom Pen’
P.S. Daniel, if you get fired, can you play a clip of Donald Trump yelling “You’re fired!”?
I laughed, I cried – it moved me, Bob!
This is fantastic! XD Now for my title brain storm shrapnel:
“Before Canadians Were Nice”
“All’s Fair in Love and Moose”
“Aboot Bo Bobo the Soorry Moose”
“A Moose’s (lack of) Tail”
“A Canadian Story That’s Not About Hockey”
“The Good the Bad and the Moose”
“The Maple and Moose”
That’s all I got this late in the night! Keep it up, Kingdom Pen. This is golden.
All very good titles, but I should remind you, Mopley /did/ actually have a tail.
Yes but that title is so good, Ezra. Besides. No one knew he had a tail.
Yeah, cuz it was…y’know…there.
‘In Moosefortune’s Wake’
And… though technically they’re called antlers… ‘The Horn of Moosefortune’.
Hilarious, guys.
That was hilarious. I’m hoping that there will be a bit more seriousness or useful writing advice in the future so that I can justify spending half an hour on it. And just so you know there is an Australian listening. Not one of the ones you mentioned though, one of the other Australians.
I seriously laughed the whole time! I can’t wait until the next one comes out! OK, so, I may or may not be scarred for life, but it was totally worth it! Daniel, I really, really hope you aren’t fired. 🙂
Shaina
I hope I’m not fired too. 😛
Am I the only one who feels slight…twinges of apprehension considering the general reception of this episode, when you consider that this is like, the only one meant to be comedy?
Yes. You’re the only one. The single, solitary person who feels this way.
Oh well. Writers cannot do anything without at least some comedy, so don’t worry about it. And it will be nice if we can have a good blend of comedy with pithy writing wisdom.
Uh… you have some of that, right?
I think I might. I said something about villains that was all cool and soooo mature and serious of me. Made my skin crawl really. But yes, I have small modicums of actual knowledge.
Hey, I was serious!
I was too. That’s the sad bit. But I don’t like sadness, so let’s call it the funny bit.
“The Origin Of Canadians”
or “The Origin Of Kingdom Pen”.
And a tagline for someone else’s: “Never was a story of more whoa than this”
No, I didn’t misspell that. 😉
Yep. It is a Tale of Whoa.
*in Randalf voice* Behold, the lannnnddddd of whooaaaaaaaaaaa. Bilboy: Whoa.
Oh, gosh. XD I need to watch that movie again. So many good veggietales quotes!
Bilboy: Today is my twenty-twooth birthday. I’m twice as tall as half of you and half as short as twice of you. :S
Loved this one guys. Can’t wait to be following this.
For my title, I had to dig way into my canadian vocab.
A moose kerfuffle.
Ain’t learnin at moose school.
Cutting it close on the deadline, eh Isaiah? XD
Well Ladies and Gents, shall we move the party to the next topic over? We’ve got ourselves a brand spankin new episode to make fun of. 😛
And we’ll be deciding the winner of the t-shirt content before too long as well. So, yerpers. That’ll be a thing.
This should be packaged and sold as an instant cure for depression. Also, when I rule the world I will fund the saga of Moopley and co. Keep going guys. That was awesome.
IT’S STILL HERE.
OMIGOSH.
Now I need to listen to these all over again…
IS IT STILL HERE? I can’t listen to it! I thought it was taken down.