Home Forums Fiction Writing General Writing Discussions The Show Don't Tell Me Rule

This topic contains 28 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by  Inkling for Christ 2 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #58726

    Aislinn Mollisong
    @aislinn-mollisong
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 379

    @daeus Hey, can you possibly look through this? I know you’re busy and all, but I honestly can’t tell if I’ve been “telling” too much. If you could just skim through this, it would be appreciated. Thank you!

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M9wPbE-ElWr1tqtDjqACHUxumE_sj25pTx-bLkvwX7s/edit?usp=sharing

    Signed, Aislinn of Aethasia.
    *salute*

    #58736

    Inkling for Christ
    @inkling-for-christ
    • Rank: Wise Jester
    • Total Posts: 79

    @sam-kowal, okay so if I have the sentence

    The Baby squealed. that is telling but if I say Baby James squealed raucously ass his mother wearily entered the room. Is that showing?

    #58741

    Sam Kowal
    @sam-kowal
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 347

    @inkling-for-christ Well… ‘the baby squealed’ is telling what happened but it’s not emotional telling, which is what limits the story. Your second example is certainly more descriptive, but sometimes you’re not going to want that much detail or your story will be extremely long.

    I would focus on the emotional telling, for example, you wrote

    ‘Baby James squealed raucously as his mother wearily (more of a telling word) entered the room.’

    could be combined with your first sentence to say

    ‘Baby James squealed raucously, and his mother sighed and slumped her shoulders (showing weariness) as she entered the room’

    Does that make sense?

    *Giarstanornarak tries to melt chair*

    #58744

    Inkling for Christ
    @inkling-for-christ
    • Rank: Wise Jester
    • Total Posts: 79

    @sam-kowal, Thanks!

    Hey @daeus, @sam-kowal, @aislinn-molisong, @deekreel,  @emily, @supermonkey42, @epicaddie2 @alia, @audrey-caylin, @kate-flournoy, @that_writer_girl_99

    Thanks for chiming in…so I had an idea that I’ve been brainstorming and I want to run it by you before I make a fool of myself…You know the ALS Ice Bucket challenge from a few summers back? What if we had our own community-wide challenge? The focus to bring awareness to would be the Show don’t tell rule. The way it would work is x nominates y to either write a sentence or few showing or telling. The trick is the nominator would not only nominate a person but also give a setting for example;

    Challenge: tell

    Setting: the feeling of winning a race.

    Then the nominee would have to do the challenge and then nominate someone else.

    My goal with this is to help not just the few of us who have been in this thread but the WHOLE of Kingdom Pen. If I can get at least five voices of approval then I will create a thread for this if not then I know i’m being a goof

    #58745

    Kate Flournoy
    @kate-flournoy
    • Rank: Chosen One
    • Total Posts: 3912

    @inklings-for-christ I think that’s a fantastic idea! I probably won’t be able to chime in much, but otherwise, go for it. 😀


    Alia
    @alia
    • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
    • Total Posts: 254

    @inkling-for-christ, I think its a fantastic idea. I could definitely work on this area of writing.

    A KP Ranger and Sister of the Herons
    INTP sister to an INTJ...
    mirakrin.wordpress.com

    #58747

    Dekreel
    @dekreel
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 987

    @inkling-for-christ  That’s not a bad idea! Go for it!

    Questions: Who would I be nominating? Or would you be nominating me? And we’re nominating people to make stories that show/tell, right?

    This sounds cool!

    Pronounced DEE-kreel. ENFJ -T (or am I an ENFP…)
    And no, I am not a wolf. I’m NOT!

    #58751

    Dekreel
    @dekreel
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 987

    Wait… @daeus, you have a show-don’t-tell course?! Where do I find it?! 😀

    Pronounced DEE-kreel. ENFJ -T (or am I an ENFP…)
    And no, I am not a wolf. I’m NOT!

    #58752

    Inkling for Christ
    @inkling-for-christ
    • Rank: Wise Jester
    • Total Posts: 79

    @dekreel,

    as the starter, I will nominate someone (probably the first five to respond to my idea).

    You and everyone else will nominate someone you know in the forum. There are SO MANY  of us and I only know a few people but if each of us nominates a person then we get the whole community involved. Yes, You would nominate someone to make a sentence, or paragraph showing or telling. It doesn’t have to be too long. Its sort of like the You know you’re a writer if… In fact, if this takes off we may even make a GIANT  story mixing showing and telling  with each person giving 1-2 sentences

    #58753

    Dekreel
    @dekreel
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 987

    @inkling-for-christ  I see. Thanks! Well, I’m in, it sounds amazing!

    Pronounced DEE-kreel. ENFJ -T (or am I an ENFP…)
    And no, I am not a wolf. I’m NOT!

    #58754

    Inkling for Christ
    @inkling-for-christ
    • Rank: Wise Jester
    • Total Posts: 79

    @dekreel,

    Yes, @daeus does have a course and I completed it. (It is one of the BEST  writing courses I have taken). I included the link to the site in the first post of this thread. until the seventh the course is free. also, the first post has the original email I (and possibly others) received.

    #58768

    Daeus
    @daeus
    • Rank: Chosen One
    • Total Posts: 4073

    @inkling-for-christ I might not have time to be involved, but I think this is a great idea.

    🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢

    #58786

    Ben P.
    @supermonkey42
    • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
    • Total Posts: 129

    @inkling-for-christ Go for it!

    Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong. -Luke Skywalker

    #58820

    Inkling for Christ
    @inkling-for-christ
    • Rank: Wise Jester
    • Total Posts: 79

    Here me giving this whole showing thing a try. How did I do?

    Walking down the dusty, damp street Jarred aloud the loose pebbles to scuff the toes of his boots. Regret had seized him shaming him for the cross words he had said earlier that day. With a shaky hand, he dug in his pocket for the only thing he had left. His fingers fumbled as he drew out the slip of paper. Squinting at it he saw he’d have to move to a light source to read the words. ‘why should I even read this?’ the thought nagged him like the tag on the back of his shirt. Tightly he wadded up the paper and threw it as hard as he could. It rebounded off the wall and landed in a pile of rubble. “swish” Jarred spun around like a top. there was nothing there “swish, crack” again he wheeled and then the lights went out.

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