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Okay.
So, one of my characters, Vanessa, in my current work Firebird is a missionary kid/teen.
And I thought I heard that some of you are missionary kids(or you can tag them and answer these anyway)? Do you have any advice? Things I should avoid that annoy you when you read books with MKs? Other stuff? Books I should maybe read for research?
A little background…
Her family,
John (Dad), Elizabeth (Mom), Vanessa (15-17 I haven’t decided quite yet), Mark (12-13 younger brother), Sherill (baby/toddler)Basically they fly and crash their plane on an island full of Roman-like natives. I can give more later, but I have to fly.
@clariec @sleepwalkingmk @daughteroftheking @dragon-snapper @seekjustice
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@Catwing I fear I’m not an MK (and can’t think of anyone else on the forum who is). :/ I hope you find someone to help you, tho!
@catwing I’m a semi-MK, if that’s possible. (I insist that it is. 😀 ) I say that because my family has a ministry that causes us to travel across the country a lot, and during the spring we’ve sometimes been in a different state every week. You know a little bit about us, since we’ve met. 🙂
So anyway, one of the things that annoys me the most about MK books is that at the start they almost without fail hate the ministry and are angry with their parents for taking them all over the world and wish for a normal life. Then, by the end of the story, they have this revelation or this growth in maturity and realize they actually are glad to be missionaries and want to be missionaries for the rest of their lives. I know this is actually a real struggle for many MKs, but not for everyone! Well, all kids – including “normal” ones – wish there was something different about what their parents did. I have a few times wondered how my life would be different if my parents hadn’t started their ministry, but for the most part I am very happy that we have the ministry, and are able to do God’s work and help so many people. I don’t really want to be a missionary/pastor’s wife when I have my own family, but for right now I am content and glad to do the type of things we do, and I never had any real struggles with it. (I have definitely had struggles with other things, of course! I just mean that not everyone struggles with that one thing that seems to be in every MK story.)
Missionary kids often believe their lives are different from others, but they become so used to the culture in which they grow up that they don’t actually end up fitting in to what they think is a “normal” culture. I think that Mark, as a young boy, would very quickly fit in with the new culture he discovers. An older girl might have a harder time, but boys are adventurous, and Mark will probably want to join in with everything that’s going on as soon as he finds out about it.
So, I hope this makes a tiny bit of sense…
And I’ll redo the tags that didn’t work in your post: @clairec @gh24682468999
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@catwing A lot like what @rochellaine said, that MK’s might not struggle with bitterness, especially if they’ve been in this situation for basically their entire lives. I know I think my situation is normal (for me), and I wouldn’t change as this is what I’ve grown up with. As a result of living overseas, I’m not terribly picky about food or living situations, and can adapt pretty easily. America is sort of this foreign, surreal place that has such a higher standard of living that you feel you can only dream about, and yet I’m more comfortable here overseas. That’s sort of my perspective as someone who’s grown up as an MK, so I can elaborate on that if you want.
However, if you’re writing about their transition from home to the mission field, I can imagine it would be pretty hard for Vanessa at the age she is at. You’d have to display the cultural differences and what’s hard for her to accept, what and who she misses, learning the language, etc. This would require pretty detailed research, especially for the country she’s going to.
Could you give a bit more information on their situation? Because the description you give so far seems like they have to survive rather than start a ministry…
It's g-h, 2-4-6-8 twice, three 9's
literatureforthelight.wordpress.com@catwing Thanks for tagging me! I’m also an MK 🙂
@rochellaine covered a lot of my pet peeves. I personally have struggled a *lot* with being thrown into a whole new culture, and that was manifested by bitterness at God and parents. Even after I repented of that, it’s still something I struggle with, even two years later.Two stereotypes that I haven’t seen in books, but have seen in people’s minds: MKs are perfect helpers-of-parents-in-every-way, or, angsty teens who hate their whole lives. (Neither is true; we’re regular people :P). Every MK is going to have a different experience, and you could definitely explore different options through the MC and her siblings.
Also, what Rochellaine said about the different ages and genders of the kids making it easier/harder for them to adjust. Also, several other factors:
-Where they go. If they move to a country where English is the main language, or the culture is very much like the one they’re used to, they’ll probably all adjust better. (For example, I moved to a new country with a new culture and language, and even though it was a bit more familiar as my parents were from there, it was still a huge jump.)
-If they have to learn a language. If there’s a language barrier, that’s going to make it harder for the MC to adjust and make friends.
-If they go to school in the culture, or are homeschooled/go to an international school. I personally am being homeschooled, and while this is great, it hurts my learning of the language and gaining friends I see every day.
-What age they are when they move. Like Rochellaine said, younger kids are going to have a much easier time adjusting, while teens probably have the hardest. It also depends on where the MCs have spent most of their lives. If the MC has spent more of her life (especially childhood) in the other country, then that will probably feel more like home to her. If she has spent more or her life (especially childhood) in the U.S., then that may feel more like home to her (this one has been my experience).
So, I’m quite intrigued by your story! I was thinking what Grace said… so I’m wondering a few things: a) is the family a missionary family already when they crash onto the island? b) are they going to minister to these natives? c) are these people hostile? (will said family have to try to survive more than minister?)
Hope this makes sense 😛 I’ll ask an MK not on KP about this, and tag another. @livgiordano
Read to explore worlds, write to create them.
Hey there, @catwing! I am not an MK, but I did have one thing that I wanted to share with you that really, really irritates me in MK-stories.
The children hate going on missions trips. Seriously, in a lot of MK books I’ve read, the kids are like, “Daddy, I don’t want to leave all my friends and my school and my life!”
(Wew, that was irritating just to write!)
But honestly, if I got a chance to go to Africa, or South America, or even Asia, I would be ecstatic! I mean, I would miss my friends, but I would love to get the chance to see the world that way. (Plus, if you get the chance to skip out on school in favor of going to see the world and you complain, you have something mentally wrong with you.)
Anyway, that’s just my take on things. Also, the missionary kids(no offense to anyone who is one!) all seem to be a bit….how do I put this….almost snotty. Well, maybe more like and extreme goody-goody that they’re kind of flat. (I’m talking about fiction, by the way, not biographies and such.) I would like to see a bit more realistic take on MKs other than, “My parents are Christians, so I’m a perfect angel.”
~Sarah
Writer. INTJ. Dreamer. Reader. Artist. (And Dragon.)
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Wow. My post still won’t show up. I’ll try one more time and leave out the tags so people won’t keep getting emails…
Sarah; As several of us have stated above, we do agree that the absolute horror and anger fiction MKs express at the fact that they are MKs is semi-unrealistic and extremely annoying to read about in fiction. However, you’ve got to take into consideration the realities of missionary life.
If you get a chance to skip out on school in favor of going to see the world and you complain, you have something mentally wrong with you.
Well, that is true. But that’s not what being a missionary is. 🙂 MKs don’t “skip out on school.” They have a different form of school. Most MKs either are homeschooled, (which, believe me, is not skipping out!) or go to schools for missionary kids, and some go to the regular public/private schools in the country to which they have moved. Besides not skipping out on school, this is not a “We’re going to take a year off and tour Europe” trip. This is a complete change of lifestyle and culture for an undetermined amount of time. Sure, at first it seems fun to go do exciting new things, and you might not miss your friends…until you realize you may never see them again in your life! Even if you have the chance to correspond – and some missionary countries do not have internet(email) access, and nearly non-existant mail service – usually kids will correspond for a few months to a few years, and then slowly dwindle down, writing less and less frequently until you forget about each other, just wondering once in a while if the other person still remembers you. (Yes, I am speaking from experience.)
And, of course, having a perfect MK as a main character is no different than having a perfect character in any walk of life. It would make the book unrealistic. But as several of us have previously stated, most MKs are actually very supportive of their parents ministry, whether they actually want to be missionaries themselves when they grow up or not. (That’s not to say they don’t struggle with it from time to time, just that they’re neither horrible nor perfect – simply normal kids.)
I really like the questions Sleepwalkingmk asked, especially the one about whether the characters have already been a missionary family for a while. In that case it might be easier for them to adjust, but they will still be moving to a new culture. Also, if there is so much trouble that they are just having to survive, it will be less about the ministry part of their work, and they will be more like a “normal” Christian family who happened to crash-land on the island. 😀
If any other MKs disagree with me, please correct me, because I’m only a half-way one, though I’ve met a lot of full missionary families who came to the US on furlough. 🙂 😀
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@catwing, so, I wrote a very long answer, only to have it disappear and KP log me out. I don’t have time to rewrite it right now, but I will try to get it to you.
@rochellaine, I agree with both of your postsWIP - Decisions
Kapeefer til we're old and grey@alia When I lose my posts I usually click the “back” arrow for the previous screen and sometimes can find them. Have you tried that?
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@rochellaine, yeah, it still didnt work. I am mentally screaming right now. but I have to do some school so I’ll have to write it again later
WIP - Decisions
Kapeefer til we're old and grey@alia I’m so sorry! 🙁
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@catwing Hmm. I could say a ton about this.
Like everyone else has said, yes, MKs are not all the same, stereotypes of either really good kids, or teens who don’t want to be there.
They can be just as normal as regular kids.
One thing I do notice, is that in general, it can be pretty hard to fit in. Living and knowing another culture very well, you still don’t belong there. And going back to the States, it’s not home. Because we have gotten so used to the other culture by that point.
Also, they can be kind of quirky, in a totally fun way. I love it. Like they might not know the culturally accepted norm, coming back to the States, and will quickly feel out of place.
One of the biggest things, is that they usually make friends super easy. The main reason, for this, is that, you don’t know how long you’re gonna be friends. It seems like people are always moving on, so we don’t want to waste any time waiting to get to know someone.
I love becoming really close to someone in an extremely short amount of time.
Things can be super hard to accept in another culture, the language can be difficult, and transitions are TORTURE, but there are always struggles in life.
I loved learning Spanish, getting to know the people and the culture, getting to try new foods, and just live in a totally different world.
That is definitely a huge thing, that’s super hard to explain to those who haven’t already experienced it. A different country can be a totally different world. Nothing is the same as the US. You cross a line…and everything is just the opposite of what it seems like it should be.
Mexico and the States are so different that it can be hard to reconcile the two of them. Ever. It feels like going between England and Narnia, through the wardrobe, almost. It’s just not something that you can put into words unless you have experienced it.
Also, I’ve gotten so used to transition. It’s normal. It even feels strange, or uncomfortable, if nothing is up in the air. It feels wrong, almost. Just because I’m so used to everything constantly changing, or not knowing what comes next.
Okay…forgive my ramblings. I’ll leave you with that for now. So I don’t get too carried away. 😉
www.livforhim.wordpress.com
@livgiordano I really like what you said about a different culture really meaning a different culture. My dad was born and raised a Muslim, and his family are all still Muslims, (he’s the only Christian in his family,) and their culture is Middle Eastern, though they live here in the US. But my mom was raised a Christian American, and her family’s culture is totally different – Western. So even though both my grandparents and extended family sides live in the US, I act in a completely different manner depending on who I’m visiting. 😀 I talk differently, dress differently, eat differently, and so on. And when my mom first married my dad they each had a huge culture shock entering each other’s families. They have lots of funny stories about mix-ups because of cultural assumptions – because that’s “just the way it’s done” only it’s not!
But here’s a question: if the difference between the US and Mexico is like going through the wardrobe from England to Narnia…which one are you comparing to England and which one to Narnia? 😀 😀
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@rochellaine @livgiordano Amen. Amen. Amen.
Read to explore worlds, write to create them.
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