Home Forums Fiction Writing General Writing Discussions Novel Excerpt (Feedback Welcome)

Tagged: ,

This topic contains 240 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by  Elizabeth 6 months ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 226 through 240 (of 241 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #33143

    Gabrielle
    @winter-rose
    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
    • Total Posts: 1294

    @that_writer_girl_99 I love that chart *hugs it*. Don’t worry about mistakes! Your outline won’t be perfect.
    This is just a thought, but Tam’s disappearance leads to the other guy becoming Kara’s next door neighbor, so the guy coming to the prison could be the Key event.
    Or if the new guy pushes Kara to escape, then the new guy first showing up could be the inciting event and Kara’s escape into the outside world the Key event (since it’s her entrance into the adventure). Unless I’m totally wrong about all that and her escape is the first plot point.

    I WILL survive college. Probably. https://thegreatrisingpuzzlement.wordpress.com/

    #33155

    Elizabeth
    @that_writer_girl_99
    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
    • Total Posts: 1550

    @kate-flournoy You on?

    #33253

    Kate Flournoy
    @kate-flournoy
    • Rank: Chosen One
    • Total Posts: 3824

    @that_writer_girl_99 welp, I am now. 😛 Did you have a question?

    INFP. As weird as you think I am, and then some. https://kateeverythingwriting.wordpress.com/

    #33285

    Kate Flournoy
    @kate-flournoy
    • Rank: Chosen One
    • Total Posts: 3824

    @that_writer_girl_99 oooh— cool flashback! I love it. *grins* Good job.

    INFP. As weird as you think I am, and then some. https://kateeverythingwriting.wordpress.com/

    #33437

    Elizabeth
    @that_writer_girl_99
    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
    • Total Posts: 1550

    @kate-flournoy I’ll be writing for awhile, maybe we can pop onto google docs and break a few things down?

    #33440

    Kate Flournoy
    @kate-flournoy
    • Rank: Chosen One
    • Total Posts: 3824

    @that_writer_girl_99 love to, but I’m writing now too and I’ve promised myself I’m gonna finish this pivotal battle scene before bed.

    INFP. As weird as you think I am, and then some. https://kateeverythingwriting.wordpress.com/

    #33503

    Kate Flournoy
    @kate-flournoy
    • Rank: Chosen One
    • Total Posts: 3824

    @that_writer_girl_99 yes! Here I am! I read the chapter already and was just waiting for an opportunity to sit down and talk about it. ;P I’ve snatched a moment so here I am.
    It’s really good. I read through the whole thing again and I really like where you’re going with this. The only question I have is whether or not you meant to make the guy that Kara killed sound really weird and almost supernatural. Because the way you described him almost sounded more like a creature than a human.
    Ooooh… oh. Was he supposed to be a catastrophe? YIKES. *runs and hides under the bed*

    INFP. As weird as you think I am, and then some. https://kateeverythingwriting.wordpress.com/

    #33507

    Elizabeth
    @that_writer_girl_99
    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
    • Total Posts: 1550

    Aha. Hello!

    *grins* I can almost see your train of thought chugging along as you posted this.
    Yes, the guy Kara killed is a Catastrophe–not that she and Ava know that. He’s an Earth Catastrophe, and the way he looks in my head is rather…jarring. He does look more like a monster than a human being, so there’s that.

    I’ve decided that I’m officially switching my theme from Intelligence vs. Ignorance to something along the lines of Mercy vs. Revenge. I feel like this theme suits the characters better, so I’m goin for it.

    Also…here we are. Sweet, shy Kara has just killed a man, and Catastrophe or not, that has serious implications. My question is…what are these implications? I have a few, but I need to tie them into the plot somehow…

    @kate-flournoy

    #33511

    Kate Flournoy
    @kate-flournoy
    • Rank: Chosen One
    • Total Posts: 3824

    Okey dokey! Good that you’re confident enough to switch themes; go for it. 😉

    What are the implications?

    @that_writer_girl_99

    INFP. As weird as you think I am, and then some. https://kateeverythingwriting.wordpress.com/

    #33514

    Elizabeth
    @that_writer_girl_99
    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
    • Total Posts: 1550

    Here’s the thing–Tam was taken out of the prison for hurting a guard. She broke the prison rules and was punished for it. Kara knows that, which is why, later in chapter 4 (which is still in the planning stages) she gets confused when she isn’t punished. Her view on the Warden changes when he seemingly shows mercy to her, but didn’t to Tam.
    That’s all I really have for the implications so far–I’m still trying to look inside the ripples and see which need to be written down.

    But I think this state of confusion will pair nicely with Blake’s arrival inside the prison. He’s an outsider, someone who knows the truth because the Catastrophes have had a direct impact on his personal background.
    @kate-flournoy

    #33515

    Kate Flournoy
    @kate-flournoy
    • Rank: Chosen One
    • Total Posts: 3824

    @that_writer_girl_99 ooooookayyyy… sounds like you have it all down. Was there something you wanted me to help with? Because honestly it sounds like you’ve got it.

    INFP. As weird as you think I am, and then some. https://kateeverythingwriting.wordpress.com/

    #33519

    Elizabeth
    @that_writer_girl_99
    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
    • Total Posts: 1550

    What?

    I don’t know what to say to that. I have so many questions, so much stuff that I don’t know about the plot yet, but maybe you’re right. I have to figure all that stuff out for myself.

    So…no. No questions. Except–did Kara act out of character when she killed the Catastrophe? Was it too sudden? Weird?

    @kate-flournoy

    #33521

    Kate Flournoy
    @kate-flournoy
    • Rank: Chosen One
    • Total Posts: 3824

    @that_writer_girl_99 I’m more than happy to help. 😛 Really though, it sounds like you have it… and yes, there are some things that only you can know and questions only you can answer. This is your story after all… I’ll never understand it like you do. Just know that if you want another opinion, I’m here.

    No, it was actually quite natural for Kara to do that, I thought. Considering the mental state she was in at that point.

    INFP. As weird as you think I am, and then some. https://kateeverythingwriting.wordpress.com/

    #33522

    Elizabeth
    @that_writer_girl_99
    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
    • Total Posts: 1550

    Okay, good. That’s how I intended it to be.

    Thanks for all your help, Kate! @kate-flournoy

    #33524

    Kate Flournoy
    @kate-flournoy
    • Rank: Chosen One
    • Total Posts: 3824

    @that_writer_girl_99 *salutes* My pleasure. 😀 Go forth and conquer.

    INFP. As weird as you think I am, and then some. https://kateeverythingwriting.wordpress.com/

Viewing 15 posts - 226 through 240 (of 241 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.