Novel Excerpt (Feedback Welcome)

Home Forums General Writing Discussions Novel Excerpt (Feedback Welcome)

Tagged: ,

This topic contains 240 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Elizabeth Elizabeth 1 week, 1 day ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 226 through 240 (of 241 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #33143
    Profile photo of Gabrielle
    Gabrielle
    Participant

    @that_Writer_girl_99 I love that chart *hugs it*. Don’t worry about mistakes! Your outline won’t be perfect.
    This is just a thought, but Tam’s disappearance leads to the other guy becoming Kara’s next door neighbor, so the guy coming to the prison could be the Key event.
    Or if the new guy pushes Kara to escape, then the new guy first showing up could be the inciting event and Kara’s escape into the outside world the Key event (since it’s her entrance into the adventure). Unless I’m totally wrong about all that and her escape is the first plot point.

    #33155
    Profile photo of Elizabeth
    Elizabeth
    Participant

    @kate-flournoy You on?

    #33253
    Profile photo of Kate Flournoy
    Kate Flournoy
    Participant

    @That_Writer_Girl_99 welp, I am now. 😛 Did you have a question?

    #33285
    Profile photo of Kate Flournoy
    Kate Flournoy
    Participant

    @That_Writer_Girl_99 oooh— cool flashback! I love it. *grins* Good job.

    #33437
    Profile photo of Elizabeth
    Elizabeth
    Participant

    @kate-flournoy I’ll be writing for awhile, maybe we can pop onto google docs and break a few things down?

    #33440
    Profile photo of Kate Flournoy
    Kate Flournoy
    Participant

    @That_Writer_Girl_99 love to, but I’m writing now too and I’ve promised myself I’m gonna finish this pivotal battle scene before bed.

    #33503
    Profile photo of Kate Flournoy
    Kate Flournoy
    Participant

    @That_Writer_Girl_99 yes! Here I am! I read the chapter already and was just waiting for an opportunity to sit down and talk about it. ;P I’ve snatched a moment so here I am.
    It’s really good. I read through the whole thing again and I really like where you’re going with this. The only question I have is whether or not you meant to make the guy that Kara killed sound really weird and almost supernatural. Because the way you described him almost sounded more like a creature than a human.
    Ooooh… oh. Was he supposed to be a catastrophe? YIKES. *runs and hides under the bed*

    #33507
    Profile photo of Elizabeth
    Elizabeth
    Participant

    Aha. Hello!

    *grins* I can almost see your train of thought chugging along as you posted this.
    Yes, the guy Kara killed is a Catastrophe–not that she and Ava know that. He’s an Earth Catastrophe, and the way he looks in my head is rather…jarring. He does look more like a monster than a human being, so there’s that.

    I’ve decided that I’m officially switching my theme from Intelligence vs. Ignorance to something along the lines of Mercy vs. Revenge. I feel like this theme suits the characters better, so I’m goin for it.

    Also…here we are. Sweet, shy Kara has just killed a man, and Catastrophe or not, that has serious implications. My question is…what are these implications? I have a few, but I need to tie them into the plot somehow…

    @kate-flournoy

    #33511
    Profile photo of Kate Flournoy
    Kate Flournoy
    Participant

    Okey dokey! Good that you’re confident enough to switch themes; go for it. 😉

    What are the implications?

    @That_Writer_Girl_99

    #33514
    Profile photo of Elizabeth
    Elizabeth
    Participant

    Here’s the thing–Tam was taken out of the prison for hurting a guard. She broke the prison rules and was punished for it. Kara knows that, which is why, later in chapter 4 (which is still in the planning stages) she gets confused when she isn’t punished. Her view on the Warden changes when he seemingly shows mercy to her, but didn’t to Tam.
    That’s all I really have for the implications so far–I’m still trying to look inside the ripples and see which need to be written down.

    But I think this state of confusion will pair nicely with Blake’s arrival inside the prison. He’s an outsider, someone who knows the truth because the Catastrophes have had a direct impact on his personal background.
    @kate-flournoy

    #33515
    Profile photo of Kate Flournoy
    Kate Flournoy
    Participant

    @That_Writer_Girl_99 ooooookayyyy… sounds like you have it all down. Was there something you wanted me to help with? Because honestly it sounds like you’ve got it.

    #33519
    Profile photo of Elizabeth
    Elizabeth
    Participant

    What?

    I don’t know what to say to that. I have so many questions, so much stuff that I don’t know about the plot yet, but maybe you’re right. I have to figure all that stuff out for myself.

    So…no. No questions. Except–did Kara act out of character when she killed the Catastrophe? Was it too sudden? Weird?

    @kate-flournoy

    #33521
    Profile photo of Kate Flournoy
    Kate Flournoy
    Participant

    @That_Writer_Girl_99 I’m more than happy to help. 😛 Really though, it sounds like you have it… and yes, there are some things that only you can know and questions only you can answer. This is your story after all… I’ll never understand it like you do. Just know that if you want another opinion, I’m here.

    No, it was actually quite natural for Kara to do that, I thought. Considering the mental state she was in at that point.

    #33522
    Profile photo of Elizabeth
    Elizabeth
    Participant

    Okay, good. That’s how I intended it to be.

    Thanks for all your help, Kate! @kate-flournoy

    #33524
    Profile photo of Kate Flournoy
    Kate Flournoy
    Participant

    @That_Writer_Girl_99 *salutes* My pleasure. 😀 Go forth and conquer.

Viewing 15 posts - 226 through 240 (of 241 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Ad