Let's write a story!

Home Page Forums Fiction Writing Critiques Novel Idea Critiques Let's write a story!

Viewing 11 posts - 31 through 41 (of 41 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #10361
    Greta
    @gretald
      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
      • Total Posts: 450

      Oh dear, @kate-flournoy! Since your’s is after mine, the next person writing can just go off of your’s. 🙂

      #10367
      Rolena Hatfield
      @rolena-hatfield
        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
        • Total Posts: 405

        Haha! I like them both @kate-flournoy and at @gretald!

        https://rolenahatfield.com/

        #10442
        Rosey Mucklestone
        @writefury
          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
          • Total Posts: 467

          ((Yeah, I’m going off Kate’s. Sorry @gretald, I just don’t know what I would have done with the window. I probably would have had her see something boring like a sock.))

          His declaration does nothing to calm me down. Lovely. Two more burning questions. I didn’t have enough before.
          I turn my gaze back on him, “What do you mean that only one of us would make it? We both got here, didn’t we?”
          Gavin sighs and drops his head back against the wall, “Wow, you really got that memory loss thing good. This is not going to be fun.”
          I resist the urge to do something violent. This boy needs a hard tickle.
          “Well,” He stands with another gusty sigh, “I need to show you something first.”

          #10525
          Greta
          @gretald
            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
            • Total Posts: 450

            No worries, @writefury!

            “What?” I ask.
            “Let me show you.” He stands, brushes off the wrinkles on his perfectly un-wrinkled jeans, and motions for me to follow him.
            I haven’t got anything better to do, I think and follow him down the hall.
            The hallway is longer than I thought; we seem to keep walking down the same hall for hours. Suddenly, Gavin stops at a small wooden door along the hallway. And when I say small, I mean small. The door looked like it was made for dwarfs.
            Gavin turns the brass knob and opens the door. He lies flat on his stomach and somehow manages to wiggle through the tiny door. I just stand staring at the tiny door, unable to move. I vaguely hear Gavin yell to me from the other side of the door, “Are you coming?”
            “Uh,” I can’t think; I can’t even breathe.
            Gavin peaks back through the door. “Are you okay?” His voice sounds concerned.
            “I can’t…” I start. “I don’t like…tight spaces.”
            Gavin laughs. “Oh, that’s what it is. You’re claustrophobic.”

            #10667
            Faith Kindred
            @faithdk
              • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
              • Total Posts: 139

              I fake a laugh. This guy is really getting on my nerves. “Yep, that’s what it is alright.”
              He ducks back through the door and a moment later it expands into normal height.
              “Voila!” I see him through the doorway with his hands raised triumphantly.
              “H-how did you…the door…it just…”
              He shrugs. “No biggie. Actually it’s pretty easy to use magic in this place. See, this palace -fort- whatever-you-want-to-call-it, was built and used by wizards. Hence all the long hallways and weird doors. As you can see, these walls still hold their magic, and, with it being so strong, any newbie could easily do what I just did.”
              Gavin pauses and pats the wall beside him. “It’s very easy to learn,” he continues. “I should show you sometime. It’d help you get around easier.”
              I quickly snap my mouth shut, realizing I had been gaping ever since hearing the word “magic”.
              He gestures for me to follow, so I trail after him down yet another hall. Only, this one is pretty dark compared to the others I’ve been in…

              #10825
              BlueJay
              @bluejay
                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                • Total Posts: 1622

                Now I do not like the dark. But I was sick of appearing a wimp before Gavin. As I follow, as close as I can, I study the back of him. What was he before we can here? Had he been my boy-friend? I shake my head. I didn’t have them.
                “Oh wait,” I squeal.
                Gavin whirls around. “What?”
                My fingers rub my temples. “You’re…you’re…my…brother?”
                “Is that a question or a statement?”
                “It a questi…no, a statement. Correct if I’m wrong.”
                “Nope, you’re absolutely right. Now come on.”
                “Wait, wait, wait. I just found out that you’re my brother, I remember something, and you just act like it’s no big deal. Were you like this in the other world?”
                “Probably not. I can’t remember that. It’s great, but this is going to happen. You will suddenly be hit by a thought that will help you get hold of a memory. We can’t stop and celebrate each time it happens sis.”
                “Fine, proceed.”
                “We’re here.”
                “Naturally.”
                “No look.” He pulls aside a thick cobweb and motions for me to enter. I do so and gasp…

                #10844
                Greta
                @gretald
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 450

                  I’m standing in what appears to be a tomb–except there aren’t any bodies. Thank goodness. The room is circular, lined with stones the size of me, and I’m tall for my age. At least, I think I am. But then again, I can’t really be sure since I don’t remember anything. Anyway, the stones are huge. I look up at the ceiling and gasp again. The ceiling is gone. Where the ceiling should have been, all I can see is a circle of blue, cloudless sky.
                  Gavin coughs, snapping me out of my daze. He points to the wall opposite us.
                  There sits a little old woman in a rocking chair. She’s knitting something that looks like a sweater. A blue sweater…with little white cotton balls on it.
                  Clouds, I think.
                  Gavin clears his throat, and the old lady looks over at us.
                  “What do you want?” Her voice is far to strong and forceful to be her’s. Then I realize that it wasn’t she who had spoken. It was…

                  #10856
                  Ingrid
                  @ingridrd
                    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                    • Total Posts: 830

                    …someone behind Gavin and me. And I recognize the voice.
                    “What are you looking for?”
                    I turn around. It’s the woman from the room with the long table. She looks angry, like we’ve done something wrong.
                    “We’re not looking for anything,” says Gavin, glancing at me. I hear a voice in my head—his voice, which is crazy. But I remember that he enlarged a door just now and I don’t think twice about it. “Let me handle this,” Gavin says inside my head. I look back at him and nod slowly.
                    “I was just showing Wren around,” Gavin explains to her.
                    “Wren?”
                    “My sister, ma’am.” Gavin gestures to me.
                    The woman looks me over. I stare at my shoes. My boots. Wait, I wasn’t wearing boots when I came in here! It isn’t the only thing that’s changed about my appearance. My hands are heavy with jewelry and I’m wearing a wine-colored dress. My eyes move back to the woman. She doesn’t recognize me. Gavin’s voice enters my head again, “I can’t let her see who you are.” So, he changed my looks so this lady wouldn’t know who I was? The question is why…

                    A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)

                    #11121
                    BlueJay
                    @bluejay
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1622

                      “Well, if you see a young girl in jeans and bare-footed, please send her back to us? We have some unfinished business to discuss.”
                      Gavin bows low and I curtsy. The woman left and I turned to Gavin.
                      “Can I talk to you in your head?”
                      “With practise, little sister.” Gavin turns to the little old lady who was still knitting. “My good lady would have a disguise for Wren?”
                      She nods and points to a basket beside her. I reach in a pull out a beautiful cream coloured dress. Gavin clears his throat.
                      “You’ll find that you won’t want a dress out there, Wren. Pick again.”
                      Sadly I place the dress aside and reach in again. This time I pull out a pair of brown leggings and a light green top to go with it. Hurriedly I change behind one of the stones.
                      Gavin and I leave the room and we walk through the wall and outside. He turns to me.
                      “Wren, you are about to have an adventure of a life time.”

                      #11126
                      Faith Kindred
                      @faithdk
                        • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                        • Total Posts: 139

                        His words sit like dough in my stomach. Which reminds me, I’m starving!
                        “Gavin,” I pant while jogging to keep up with him, “when are we going to eat?”
                        We’ve been keeping a fast pace through a large wood for what seems like hours.
                        To my relief, Gavin stops and turns around to face me.
                        “When we reach Riften we’ll gather supplies -and food.” He mutters something, but I can’t make it out.
                        He turns back around and starts walking.
                        “How long til we get there?” I ask, carefully stepping over a fallen tree.
                        “You mean with you talking nonstop? It may take a week.”
                        I roll my eyes. And boys think we’re the dramatic ones!
                        “Well, how long if quit talking?”
                        I see him duck under a branch in front of me. “Should be an hour -two at most.”
                        Great. “Then what?”
                        “Hmm?”
                        “After we get supplies, then what? Do we go after the dragon? Er -key- uh…box?”
                        Gavin sighs. “The box idea is sorta useless now, since we -you- don’t have it, and I have no clue on it’s whereabouts. Now, let’s just hope the Dragons Key isn’t inside the box. If it is, then this is all for nothing. But,” he pauses. “Did you hear that?”
                        I look around, but trees are all I see.
                        “No…”
                        Gavin spins around and his expression surprises me. He’s grinning from ear to ear.
                        “What?” I ask. ‘What’s your problem?’ is the more appropriate question.

                        #23937
                        Darik Swisher
                        @gideon-sowdon
                          • Rank: Wise Jester
                          • Total Posts: 58

                          “so did you hear it?” asked Gavin again.
                          “hear what?”
                          “it was a bird. people have found that following them can be very useful. they lead you to some place you need to go. there it is again. they’re really rare, and special”
                          “what? you mean that scratching noise?” I said Following Gavin.
                          “yeah. I think it went this way,” Said Gavin walking off to the left.
                          “so where’s the bird?”
                          “I haven’t seen it yet, but i’ll try and point it out.”
                          We had only gone a few meters when Gavin pointed up at a small brown and green bird as it landed in a tree.
                          “is it that bird,” I asked.
                          “Yeah it is,”Said Gavin walking in it’s direction.
                          it opened its beak and made that scratching noise. and then it hopped to another branch, blending in with the trees.
                          “How are we supposed to follow that bird? it’s colors make it imposable to see!” I shouted after Gavin, as I jogged to catch up.
                          he stopped and turned back.
                          “you follow by sound, not sight.”
                          “So is this going to get us to Riften quicker, or do we wait longer for food?”
                          “we’ll follow the brown bird for another five minutes,” Gavin said, quickening his pace slightly.
                          I had to jog to keep up, unless he slowed.
                          before the five minutes was over, we stood there, looking around and listened for the bird. hearing the scratching sound in the bushes, i look to see a path winding through the thick bush.
                          “this way,” I said walking in.
                          Gavin was right behind me.
                          we followed it for another few minutes, occasionally hearing the scratching sound.
                          we stopped, and looked up at the cliff that rose before us.
                          “well that didn’t get us anywhere. Maybe It was just the bushes we heard,” I said.
                          “no, it was the bird alright. and it got us here, and heres somewhere.”
                          I sighed, turning around. and the gasped.
                          “what? how? where did they come from?”
                          Gavin turned around.
                          “um, it’s a kind of small fruit, they’re berries, and they’re edible. they all face the same way, ” said Gavin picking one and passing it to me. “you really like them.”
                          “I do?” I said looking at him. and then it.
                          One side was yellow, and the other a dark green.
                          “I remember,” said Gavin.
                          “Yeah, and I don’t,” I said putting it in my mouth.

                          (it’s a bit longer than I expected, but then it’s been stationary for quite some time.)

                          • This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Darik Swisher. Reason: note
                        Viewing 11 posts - 31 through 41 (of 41 total)
                        • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
                        >