October 5, 2017 at 8:23 am #47059
I really like the MC from my dystopian novel (which is on hiatus, but I’ll get back to it eventually). But, of course, I’m biased. Here’s the short-ish bio I wrote last night. What could I improve about the character? Any advice is appreciated! 🙂
Carson “Cove” Hartford
Birth date: June 6th, 35 PWT (post-war time)
I am cold, can you hear?
I will fly, with no hope, no fear
And the ground taunts my wings
Plummet as I sing, plummet as I
—Isle Of Flightless Birds, Twenty One Pilots
Backstory: After a nuclear war destroyed most of America in the late 2000’s, a new government rose to power—a monarchy. The King and Queen had a son named Samuel; he was normal, free of mutations. Two years later, Cove was born. He looked a lot like his father….but he had been affected by radiation, resulting in his being born with wings. As a result, he was discriminated against and abused brutally, treated like a slave rather than a member of the royal family.
At age fifteen, he inadvertently discovered that he could control fire as well. The King exiled him, not wanting a fire mage in close proximity—they were known to be unstable.
Sure enough, Cove could barely control his power; this was made worse by the fact that he had severe PTSD. Not even the other fire mages would accept him, since his ability was getting more dangerous with every passing day.
Eventually, he came to the Haven, a shelter for mutants. There, he found friendship for the first time. But his story is far from over…
Personality: Shy, timid, and skittish. However, he hides his emotions very well most of the time. Fiercely loyal to the Haven; refuses to have anything to do with his relatives. He flinches at the slightest touch or unexpected movement, and he has terrible nightmares and flashbacks, which are slowly improving/disappearing as time goes on.
Appearance: Cove has long, dark hair and grey eyes. Due to childhood starvation, he’s short and thin. He walks with a slight limp. There’s an identification number tattooed on his left wrist, from his time as a prisoner. His most notable feature is that he has white wings on his back.October 5, 2017 at 8:51 am #47076
@raevynstar Ooh! He does sound like a great character. For someone who controls fire, he doesn’t sound like very much of a fighter, which I think is great, because when someone thinks fire, they think of a fighter. Nice and unique, that one. *thumbs up*
If you want to improve him, I’d discover some of his quirks. What does he do when he’s nervous? Does he mess with the ends of his wings? Does he flap them nervously? Or do his ears twitch when he’s nervous? How does he react to things that surprise him? When you’re writing your story the body-language that your character has will make him who he is… (right @daeus ? Or am I missing something)
Another thing you could do is add some more personal characteristics and objects. I like the tattoo that marks him as a prisoner. That’s personal. But does he play an instrument…well, I guess no because he was practically a slave…. I don’t know….whittling sounds like a good hobby for this guy. But you get to decide that. 😀October 5, 2017 at 8:52 am #47077
Oh, and if he has PTSD does he get to have a Labrador follow him everywhere? 😀 😉October 5, 2017 at 9:09 am #47086
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@raevynstar He sounds good to me. 😀 The one thing I would point out is that sometimes writers will make these types of characters mopey. It’s fine for characters to be sorrowful and introspective, but they must have a strong goal they are pursuing at the same time, or it will be hard to root for them.
@dragon-snapper That’s right. You got it.October 5, 2017 at 10:04 am #47098
Everything that you two said is very helpful. As for the question about a Labrador…most animals are extinct in this book, lol.
Now I wish I could continue writing this book, instead of my school-assigned realistic fiction project. 🙁 Soon…October 5, 2017 at 5:01 pm #47205October 10, 2017 at 6:23 pm #47770
Bumping/resurfacing this thread to ask one more question.
Will it bother readers if the male MC (the one this thread is about, lol) is smaller and weaker than the female MC? It makes sense—the girl (named Iris) grew up as a warrior/soldier, so she’d have to be strong…
But I don’t want readers to abandon my book because of this detail!
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