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Hey there, everyone!
I admit I don’t know much about google docs (I type my book in Scrivener), but I was wondering if anyone would like to read my first chapter and give me feedback. 🙂 I’m pretty sure you can make comments right there on the page. Keep in mind this is the first draft, so it’s almost entirely unedited. Forgive the typos and weird wording. But go ahead and tell me if you have better wording! 😉
@jane-maree, @theliterarycrusader, @christi-eaton, @dragon-snapper, @kina-lamb, @daeus, @kate-flournoy, @perfectfifthshttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1yZIx_EAiH540mDOoiqi_GEh2lh1NpnR1JZzbLoPbGv0/edit?usp=sharing
Official Member of the Certified Club of Aussie Kapeefers
@ClaireC I’d be happy to give you some feedback! Two points first though:
a) I can’t actually comment, as you’ve got the settings as ‘view only’ (you can change these fairly easily though using the drop-down menu next to where you got the link from)
b) How much feedback would you like? 😛 I naturally wouldn’t want to do a full edit since it’s just a first draft, but I could do an over-all plot/showing-telling/theme/characters sort of edit.Writing Heroes ♦ Writing Hope // janemareeauthor.com.au
@jane-maree.
a)Thx! should be good now. Let me know if it’s not. 🙂
b) An over-all plot/showing-telling/theme/characters sort of edit would be perfect! 😉Official Member of the Certified Club of Aussie Kapeefers
@clairec, I had a look at it and made a few comments, but I’m not really familiar with how google docs works so I’m not sure what happened with them, so I’ll share some things with you here.
1. I really enjoyed this. I like the setting which you seemed to have researched well and I like the ’30s missionary station and situation. I also liked Eve and Arthur.
2. There are a few things that bothered me though. for one, how Mr and Mrs Kendsol are all spouting off ‘it’s not your fault, this is God’s will’. While I completely and fully believe that, they way they say it sounds condescending and preachy and honestly not comforting.
3. I thought there was too much info dumping throughout the first chapter and that too much happened in too short a time. This could be spaced out and tension added.
other than that, there were a few small typos (you forgot the second e in Eve) and a few sentences that didn’t run right, but I really liked it and would love to read more!
(sorry that this ended up so long, I hope it’s useful!)INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
@seekjustice, This is fabulous feed back! Thanks so much! 🙂
Official Member of the Certified Club of Aussie Kapeefers
@clairec, no worries!
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
@clairec I’m reading it now. I warn you, I am rather picky, but I shall try to be kind 😉 I’m enjoying what I’ve read so far 🙂
By the way, anything I stick in there are just suggestions, and you don’t have to use them at all, if you don’t want to 😉
Currently reading Les Miserables
Most of my comments are either about word choice or sentence re-structuring. I don’t know if that helps…
Overall, the story is good! I love the concept.
Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.
@ClaireC looks like you’ve got good help here. 😉 *thumbs up* I’d offer, but I’ve got several projects already now and I promised myself no more.
You’re in good hands though. *wink*@kate-flournoy, Thanks!
Official Member of the Certified Club of Aussie Kapeefers
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