Home Forums Fiction Writing Critiques Short Story Critiques I need a little bit of critique help!

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This topic contains 23 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Shannon 2 days, 7 hours ago.

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  • #52950

    Shannon
    @shannon
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 597

    Hey everyone. So I think that a lot of people are currently busy with NaNoWriMo, so this can wait. It’s not urgent at all. I do need help with a short story critique. This story is 2,261 words long, and is a retelling of Hansel and Gretel. If you do have time to look it over, then please let me know. I’ll send a separate update-message to whoever wants to help me. Thanks guys!

    @daughteroftheking, @ingridrd, @dragon-snapper, @salome01w4g, @cloudy, @ethryndal, @northerner

    (I don’t know who is doing NaNoWriMo, so if I tagged you and you are, don’t worry about this unless you have the time)

    MBTI: ENTP
    Dreamer, singer, & avid reader

    #52962

    Ingrid
    @ingridrd
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 406

    @shannon  I would definitely be interested!  Not sure when you need it done by, but I would love to.  🙂

    A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)

    #52965

    Shannon
    @shannon
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 597

    Thank you so much @ingridrd! Here is the link

    No rush whatsoever, just have it done whenever you have it done. I don’t need it for anything at this moment, just thought I’d get y’all’s advice. It’s really short, so it probably won’t take you more than a half hour.

    MBTI: ENTP
    Dreamer, singer, & avid reader

    #52967

    Sam Kowal
    @sam-kowal
    • Rank: Wise Jester
    • Total Posts: 68

    @shannon I know you didn’t tag me but I could help you if you like

    #52968

    Shannon
    @shannon
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 597

    @sam-kowal, consider yourself tagged! Go ahead and use the link up in the message to Ingrid. Thanks for your help!

    MBTI: ENTP
    Dreamer, singer, & avid reader

    #52970

    Ingrid
    @ingridrd
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 406

    @shannon  I’ll have it done as soon as life permits!  🙂

    A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)

    #52971

    Sam Kowal
    @sam-kowal
    • Rank: Wise Jester
    • Total Posts: 68

    @shannon I got it!

    And I really like it! So nice to have a good witch every once in awhile

    #52972

    Shannon
    @shannon
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 597

    @ingridrd Sounds good. Just have it done sometime in the next century and I’ll be happy 😜.

    @sam-kowal Fantasy isn’t really usually in my line, so this was a step out of the ordinary for me. I probably wouldn’t have known how to write a bad witch anyway 😉.

    MBTI: ENTP
    Dreamer, singer, & avid reader

    #52974

    Sam Kowal
    @sam-kowal
    • Rank: Wise Jester
    • Total Posts: 68

    @shannon

    Wow! So you rarely even write fantasy? I wouldn’t have guessed that.

    Well, just make her kidnap Hazel. And use her as a tool to access the wealth. And other unpleasant things like that

    #52976

    Shannon
    @shannon
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 597

    @sam-kowal Actually, I read way more than I write, so I really don’t write that often. But when I do, it’s usually something like historical fiction.

    MBTI: ENTP
    Dreamer, singer, & avid reader

    #52990

    EpicAddie2
    @epicaddie2
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 509

    @shannon I’d love to help! *excitedly goes off to read*

    The sort-of-official KP Ranger

    #52991

    Shannon
    @shannon
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 597

    @epicaddie2 Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    MBTI: ENTP
    Dreamer, singer, & avid reader

    #52992

    EpicAddie2
    @epicaddie2
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 509

    @shannon ‘Course! It was really good! I really like all the changes you made to it. It made it really unique, but not so unique that I couldn’t tell which fairytale it’s based off of.

    The sort-of-official KP Ranger

    #52993

    EpicAddie2
    @epicaddie2
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 509

    I kinda want to write a fairytale retelling now 😉 But I have too much school. *sigh* At least I have motivation to finish school now!

    The sort-of-official KP Ranger

    #52994

    Shannon
    @shannon
    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
    • Total Posts: 597

    @epicaddie2 Thanks! It was really fun to write, especially because I love Hazel.

    MBTI: ENTP
    Dreamer, singer, & avid reader

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