I need a little bit of critique help!

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  • #52950
    Anonymous
      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
      • Total Posts: 859

      Hey everyone. So I think that a lot of people are currently busy with NaNoWriMo, so this can wait. It’s not urgent at all. I do need help with a short story critique. This story is 2,261 words long, and is a retelling of Hansel and Gretel. If you do have time to look it over, then please let me know. I’ll send a separate update-message to whoever wants to help me. Thanks guys!


      @daughteroftheking
      , @ingridrd, @dragon-snapper, @salome01w4g, @cloudy, @ethryndal, @northerner

      (I don’t know who is doing NaNoWriMo, so if I tagged you and you are, don’t worry about this unless you have the time)

      #52962
      Ingrid
      @ingridrd
        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
        • Total Posts: 830

        @shannon  I would definitely be interested!  Not sure when you need it done by, but I would love to.  🙂

        A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)

        #52965
        Anonymous
          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
          • Total Posts: 859

          Thank you so much @ingridrd! Here is the link

          No rush whatsoever, just have it done whenever you have it done. I don’t need it for anything at this moment, just thought I’d get y’all’s advice. It’s really short, so it probably won’t take you more than a half hour.

          #52967
          Sam Kowal
          @sam-kowal
            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
            • Total Posts: 635

            @shannon I know you didn’t tag me but I could help you if you like

            *Giarstanornarak tries to melt chair*
            Also, Daeus has 22 turtles in his signature.

            #52968
            Anonymous
              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
              • Total Posts: 859

              @sam-kowal, consider yourself tagged! Go ahead and use the link up in the message to Ingrid. Thanks for your help!

              #52970
              Ingrid
              @ingridrd
                • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                • Total Posts: 830

                @shannon  I’ll have it done as soon as life permits!  🙂

                A dreamer who believes in the impossible...and dragons. (INFJ-T)

                #52971
                Sam Kowal
                @sam-kowal
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 635

                  @shannon I got it!

                  And I really like it! So nice to have a good witch every once in awhile

                  *Giarstanornarak tries to melt chair*
                  Also, Daeus has 22 turtles in his signature.

                  #52972
                  Anonymous
                    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                    • Total Posts: 859

                    @ingridrd Sounds good. Just have it done sometime in the next century and I’ll be happy 😜.


                    @sam-kowal
                    Fantasy isn’t really usually in my line, so this was a step out of the ordinary for me. I probably wouldn’t have known how to write a bad witch anyway 😉.

                    #52974
                    Sam Kowal
                    @sam-kowal
                      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                      • Total Posts: 635

                      @shannon

                      Wow! So you rarely even write fantasy? I wouldn’t have guessed that.

                      Well, just make her kidnap Hazel. And use her as a tool to access the wealth. And other unpleasant things like that

                      *Giarstanornarak tries to melt chair*
                      Also, Daeus has 22 turtles in his signature.

                      #52976
                      Anonymous
                        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                        • Total Posts: 859

                        @sam-kowal Actually, I read way more than I write, so I really don’t write that often. But when I do, it’s usually something like historical fiction.

                        #52990
                        EpicAddie2
                        @epicaddie2
                          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                          • Total Posts: 794

                          @shannon I’d love to help! *excitedly goes off to read*

                          INFJ ~ 4w5
                          aldarley.wordpress.com

                          #52991
                          Anonymous
                            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                            • Total Posts: 859

                            @epicaddie2 Thank you, thank you, thank you!

                            #52992
                            EpicAddie2
                            @epicaddie2
                              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                              • Total Posts: 794

                              @shannon ‘Course! It was really good! I really like all the changes you made to it. It made it really unique, but not so unique that I couldn’t tell which fairytale it’s based off of.

                              INFJ ~ 4w5
                              aldarley.wordpress.com

                              #52993
                              EpicAddie2
                              @epicaddie2
                                • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                                • Total Posts: 794

                                I kinda want to write a fairytale retelling now 😉 But I have too much school. *sigh* At least I have motivation to finish school now!

                                INFJ ~ 4w5
                                aldarley.wordpress.com

                                #52994
                                Anonymous
                                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                                  • Total Posts: 859

                                  @epicaddie2 Thanks! It was really fun to write, especially because I love Hazel.

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