Help! I have a nameless poem!

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  • #10199
    Mallory O’Bier
    @overcomer
      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
      • Total Posts: 550

      The topic title pretty much says it all. I have a poem that is fairly short, and fails to supply me with any good name ideas for it. Shame on it, right? Any suggestions? Tell me what to do! (Please:) Thanks!

      #10200
      Kate Flournoy
      @kate-flournoy
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 3976

        Er… well… what’s the poem about? 😛

        Rosey Mucklestone
        @writefury
          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
          • Total Posts: 467

          Generally poems tend to have repeated words or lines scattered throughout. You could pick one of those. Or just call it whatever the poem is about. “Rain” or “Bumblebee” or “Broken heart” sounds fine. 😛

          #10232
          Daeus
          @daeus
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 4238

            @overcomer You could always name it after the first line or first part of the first line.

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            #10239
            Mallory O’Bier
            @overcomer
              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
              • Total Posts: 550

              Here, you can read it for yourselves. @writefury , @daeus , @kate-flournoy

              Any name ideas or editing ideas are welcome!

              Clickety-clack,
              New and black;
              Click-clack-ding!
              And the paper rolls back.

              Letter then letter
              Line by line,
              White paper is marred
              By a black ink design.

              Clickety-clack,
              Old and rusted;
              Years have passed
              Since last it was dusted.

              Silent and still,
              It speaks no more;
              Hasn’t since
              The last World War.

              But letter then letter
              Line by line,
              Remain the white paper’s
              Black ink design.

              #10241
              Mallory O’Bier
              @overcomer
                • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                • Total Posts: 550

                You see, @daeus , if I name it after the first line it sounds like it’s a poem about a train, and if I name it after the second, it’s a bit vague . . . it could be about a sports car, or a new pair of shoes.

                As for naming it after what it’s about, @writefury , that’s kinda difficult. . .

                It’s about typewritten words outlasting the machines used to write them, and ultimately, about how written words last. At least, that’s what I was going for when I wrote it. 🙂

                #10243
                BlueJay
                @bluejay
                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                  • Total Posts: 1622

                  @overcomer Ooooo….great poem. I really loved it.
                  Hmm…titles. Not my strong point.
                  The typewriter.
                  Words.
                  “Come on Tess. Think, think.” *scrunches up eyes and holds breath* Gasp, gasp, gasp. “Nope, that’s all I can think of for now.” 🙁 Sorry

                  #10244
                  BlueJay
                  @bluejay
                    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                    • Total Posts: 1622

                    Written Words.
                    Ha, I thought of another one. Yay! (Don’t know if it’s any good though.)

                    #10245
                    Kate Flournoy
                    @kate-flournoy
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 3976

                      Hm… ‘Dust and Ink’? ‘Endurance’? ‘An Inky Legacy’? ‘Forever’?

                      Love the quick, tight rhythm, by the way! I honestly can’t find anything I would change. Nice and simple, but pithy at the same time. Love it. 😀

                      Daeus
                      @daeus
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 4238

                        Love the poem. Only thing I don’t get is the “then” in the last stanza.

                        Love “dust and ink”

                        Also might consider “Legacy of ink”, “Child of thought”, or “The typewriter’s memories”

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                        #10254
                        Mallory O’Bier
                        @overcomer
                          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                          • Total Posts: 550

                          Gee guys, @kate-flournoy , @daeus , and @bluejay , I should have applied to you sooner! Thanks:) I can feel my creative juices being stimulated already.

                          I’m glad y’all like my poem. I liked it when I wrote it, but by the time I was done editing I wasn’t so sure anymore, you know?

                          Do y’all like the way it reads with the punctuation I chose? You have no idea how I agonized over it, especially since it was the first time I ever really tried to punctuate one of my poems!

                          I like “Dust and Ink” also. It’s short and sweet, like the poem. “Legacy of Ink” is cool.

                          What do you think of these?

                          “The Typewriter’s Legacy,” “Remains of a Typewriter,” “Writer’s Design,” “A Typewriter’s Design,” “Typing Echoes,” “The White Paper’s Design,” “Marks of a Typewriter,”

                          I’m kinda leaning toward “Dust and Ink,” but I’m still deciding, so I’d love y’all’s opinion. I was seriously despairing of a name for this poem, and you guys have given me hope! Thanks for that:)

                          #10255
                          Mallory O’Bier
                          @overcomer
                            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                            • Total Posts: 550

                            @daeus , thank you, I’m glad you pointed that out. In my poem, the second and last stanzas originally had “and” instead of “then” but I changed it based on a suggestion from my Editor in Chief. (My mom:)

                            They looked like this:

                            Letter and Letter
                            Line by Line,
                            White paper is marred
                            By a black ink design.

                            and

                            But Letter and Letter
                            Line by Line,
                            Remain the white paper’s
                            Black ink design.

                            Do you think I should change them both to the original, or just the last stanza? I can see where with that one especially it might be a better choice. I’m not certain my mom meant for me to change the last one. It doesn’t seem right at all, but I couldn’t really tell until you said something because in my head it still says “and.”

                            Maybe you have a different suggestion for it? I’m all ears. (Don’t worry, I’m not being literal. I know I can’t read with my ears;)

                            #10256
                            Daeus
                            @daeus
                              • Rank: Chosen One
                              • Total Posts: 4238

                              @overcomer I think the first “then” is good, but the one in the last stanza I would probably change to “on”. If you do that, you might also want to change “line by line” to “line on line” just to match.

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                              #10260
                              BlueJay
                              @bluejay
                                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                • Total Posts: 1622

                                @overcomer I like this one definitely out of your lot of titles. “Marks of a Typewriter.” But “Dust and Ink” is good too. 🙂

                                • This reply was modified 8 years, 1 month ago by BlueJay.
                                #10289
                                Mallory O’Bier
                                @overcomer
                                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                                  • Total Posts: 550

                                  I have a quick question for y’all, @kate-flournoy , @bluejay , @daeus

                                  Did any of you guys read the poem before your read my description of what it’s about? If you did, do you think you would have enjoyed it half so much if you knew before you read that the poem described a typewriter?

                                  I think the answer to this will significantly narrow down my choices, for if the poem is more interesting without “typewriter” in the title giving away the subject, then I must obviously choose a more cryptic title.

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