Home Forums Fiction Writing Critiques Novel Idea Critiques Guardians of Airos blurb

This topic contains 18 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by  jenwriter17 1 week ago.

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  • #59087

    jenwriter17
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    Hello everyone!

    I’m currently outlining my first sci-fi novel (or is it fantasy? Idk, I’ll figure it out eventually). Would anyone be able to tell me if this is a good idea or not, if it’s cliche or it needs anything? I’m still kind of unfamiliar with the sci-fi/fantasy genres, so I’ll take all the help I can get! Also, I’m terrible at writing book blurbs, so this is very rough….

    Taegan is the first student in four years graduating from Airos Academy to be qualified to be one of the Guardians, an elite group of soldiers trained to protect the queen at all costs. 

    Taegan knows that a mistake on her part can threaten not only the safety of the queen but of her fellow Guardians. She struggles with self-doubt, and it makes matters worse when the other Guardians seem to dislike her. Their disappointed……to them she’s a short, inexperienced teen that can’t handle the job. Taegan thinks accomplishing something on her own might impress them, show them she’s capable, but everything goes wrong, and they don’t feel like a team.

    Things start heating up at Airos Palace when Taegan’s mentor Bentlix seems to be going crazy over one of the queen’s advisers, Trex. He insists he’s plotting something. Murder, maybe. Bentlix is locked up, labeled an old man gone mad. Taegan has to decide if she will heed the warning of her trusted mentor and risk the Guardians’ further dislike and distrust of her, or just keep quiet and see what happens. 

    Conflict tests Taegan physically and emotionally, and meanwhile she finds out the truth about the family she never knew, and the secrets kept by those closest to her. 

    Again, I’m very bad at book descriptions. Sorry this was so long too. Any suggestions or comments?

    @janemaree @mariposa @dragon-snapper @audreycaylin @seekjustice @dekreel @anyone else

    #59088

    SeekJustice
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    @jenwriter17 it sounds pretty good. the premise is a fairly common one, so maybe you could try twisting it in some way, adding a really good plot twist that the reader won’t see coming, such as making the villain less obvious, or making it one of the guardians themselves, or even her mentor. A few twists on this idea, I think, would make a really good, clever and original story!

    INFP with an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

    #59094

    jenwriter17
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    @seekjustice thank you! i was afraid it might be a bit common too. i’ll have to keep brainstorming!

    #59100

    Dekreel
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    @jenwriter17  It sounds fine! Just be sure there’s a bit of action. I love action 😉

    Also I LOVE the name Taegan!!!

    Pronounced DEE-kreel. ENFJ -T (or am I an ENFP...?)

    #59102

    jenwriter17
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    @dekreel okay, I love action too! fight scenes galore!!!

    heehee, thank you, me too! I enjoyed getting unique names like, Jada, Keegan, Axel, Bentlix, Trex, Aubrina, and such…

    #59103

    Dekreel
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    @jenwriter17  LOL

    Actually the reason I like it is because there’s a character in Dr Who named Tegan. Different spelling, but still cool X)

    Pronounced DEE-kreel. ENFJ -T (or am I an ENFP...?)

    #59104

    jenwriter17
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    @dekreel oh, lol, they stole it from me! 😜

    @seekjustice @dekreel i forgot to ask if anyone had any title ideas for this idea too. Guardians of Airos is the name of the series, but I’m terrible at figuring out titles.

    #59105

    SeekJustice
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    @jenwriter17 I’m also terrible at coming up with titles!

    I think it will be good! Don’t necessarily change what you have here, but give it your own special twist ;D

    INFP with an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

    #59108

    WaterLily
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    @jenwriter17 I think the sci-fi direction sounds really cool. Maybe make all the other Guardians traitors… Or the Queen herself… Or…

    Okay, turning the idea generator off. Why is it that I can come up with ideas for other people’s books, but not my own? *Sighs*

    As far as titles go, the one you’ve picked out strikes me as pretty ordinary. Try thinking of the most important aspect of your novel. Is it a plot twist? A character? A place? Then try describing/summarizing it in one phrase. Think of famous book titles. Pride and Prejudice. Lord of the Rings. A New Hope. (Sorry, I had to throw in a Star Wars reference 🙂 These all describe at least part of the essence of their stories. Titles are definitely hard. Hope that helps a bit. Happy writing!

    Feel free to disregard any and all writing advice given. It's mostly just my opinion anyways.

    #59109

    WaterLily
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    By the way, how do you say Airos? My brain says it “eye-rose.” It’s a cool word.

    Feel free to disregard any and all writing advice given. It's mostly just my opinion anyways.

    #59124

    Mariposa Aristeo
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    @jenwriter17 I agree with @seekjustice, the plot does sound slightly cliche. However, not all cliches are bad (even the best books have cliches). It doesn’t matter so much if the plot is cliche as long as the outcome isn’t. I really like Seek Justice’s idea of having the mentor be the villain; that’d give it an unusual twist.

    Hmmm…as for the title, there are lots of things with the word “guardian” in them. I’m not sure what you’d call it instead though…Sometimes it’s best to wait until after you’ve finished writing a book before deciding on a title. That way, you know everything that’s in the book and will be better equipped to create a fitting yet epic title. 🙂

    #59182

    jenwriter17
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    @waterlily thank you for the advice! yeah I was thinking naming the series Guardians of Airos, but I think i’ll be able to title it easier once the plot is figured out.

    I pronounce Airos like “air (we breathe)-rose” but not saying ‘rose’ like ‘roze’ but using the ‘s’ sound. I’m sorry, did this make sense????

    @seekjustice thanks for suggesting i throw in some plot twists! my mind has been whirling with the possibilities and I feel the story getting more interesting and unexpected!

    @mariposa thank you for your advice too! ❤

    #59518

    jenwriter17
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    @jane-maree @aratrea @daeus  @radicallysurrendered @emily @rochellaine Any suggestions for improvement?

    #59525

    Rochellaine
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    @jenwriter17 The only thing I noticed at my first reading was that you speak of her “Mentor” as though he were hers alone.  That is a common cliche and a little expected, but doesn’t seem very realistic to me.  Does the mentor also mentor several other teens?  That would be more like a real-life mentor.  The only reason I can conceive that a mentor would work with just one student would be if the student was particularly important, like the secret heir to the throne or something. 🙂

    #59526

    Radically-Surrendered
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    @jenwriter17

    It sounds like a really interesting idea. I agree that the villain is too obvious, if you’re planning on Trex being the villain. Having the mentor or a fellow Guardian be the villain would be unexpected. Alternatively, you could make it so that the mentor accuses Trex based on assumptions, when in reality it’s someone else… there’s a lot of ways you can go.

    As for titles, I personally always love one-word titles that carry a lot of meaning, like ‘betrayal’ or ‘deception’, that give the reader a vague idea of what it’s about. Maybe that’s just me though.

    Also, ‘Guardians of Airos’ sounds cool, but when I think about it, it might get lost among a lot of similar titles on the market today…

    https://radicallysurrendered.wordpress.com
    ISTJ

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