Can anyone proof my film sript? Please?

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  • #61384
    Keleigha Liess
    @ceaseless-prayer
      • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
      • Total Posts: 23

      Hello

      I have just finished my first (real) film script, planning to film this winter!! So, can yaā€™ll do me a favor?? I need a few ā€œoutsidersā€ to proof my script. You can read it here .Ā I hope. :/ Anyways, there is on unfinished part (it is marked, and to be honest, I totally forgot about that, abut Iā€™m getting to it!) Please comment here with any edits you deem necessary. I really appreciate it! =)

      #61388
      Joy
      @dekreel
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 2304

        @ceaseless-prayerĀ  A film script! OOOOOOOHHH! šŸ˜€ šŸ˜€

        I canā€™t seem to access it though, it keeps trying to give me a tutorial

        You can pronounce it however you want.

        #61394
        Grace H.
        @gh24682468999
          • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
          • Total Posts: 199

          @ceaseless-prayer Awesome! Iā€™d like to proofread it for you, but like Dekreel said, I donā€™t think we can access the link via the website youā€™re using. Could you maybe share through a document or some other medium?

          It's g-h, 2-4-6-8 twice, three 9's
          literatureforthelight.wordpress.com

          #61395
          Joy
          @dekreel
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 2304

            @ceaseless-prayerĀ  you could try copying it to a Google Doc if you use Google šŸ™‚

            You can pronounce it however you want.

            #61396
            Keleigha Liess
            @ceaseless-prayer
              • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
              • Total Posts: 23

              Okay, Iā€™ll try Google doc. thanks a lot!! šŸ˜€

              #61398
              Keleigha Liess
              @ceaseless-prayer
                • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                • Total Posts: 23

                Okay, here is a google drive link. Hopefully this works better lol btw, we are in the process of changing the title, so any ideas on that would be helpful as wellā€¦https://drive.google.com/drive/u/0/my-drive

                #61400
                Alia
                @alia
                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                  • Total Posts: 1253

                  @ceaseless-prayer, I would be willing to do it, but even with the new link I still cant seem to be able to access it

                  WIP - Decisions
                  Kapeefer til we're old and grey

                  #61405
                  Kareena Liess
                  @countryman
                    • Rank: Bumbling Henchman
                    • Total Posts: 1

                    Hmm, well, I could attach a pdf file, if someone could tell me how? I didnā€™t see any options for thatā€¦ but then, Iā€™m not super good with computersā€¦ Iā€™ll try something tomorrow. šŸ™‚

                    #61406
                    Rochellaine
                    @rochellaine
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 3322

                      @ceaseless-prayer Oh my goodness! Does that link have a reference to Oak Brook College of Law?Ā  Whatā€™s your connection?Ā  Iā€™m a third year student.

                      "Sylvester - Sylvester!"

                      #61407
                      SeekJustice
                      @seekjustice
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 3365

                        @ceaseless-prayer

                        If you open your google doc, go to SHARE and get a sharable link, and then post the sharable link here, your readers should be able to see it. You will also need to put it on the setting ANYONE CAN EDIT or ANYONE CAN COMMENT, if you want them to be able to give feedback. Hope thatā€™s helpful!

                        INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

                        #61414
                        Keleigha Liess
                        @ceaseless-prayer
                          • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                          • Total Posts: 23

                          Oops, looks like last time I posted, I was logged in as my little sister, who does happen to be quite handy with computers and such. šŸ˜› Anyway, here we go: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OKBGO8SRoMDNrtyJC-8U2-XteHiy4aXa/view?usp=sharing Thanks for the help everyone! I allowed editingā€¦ just curious, will the edits show up inĀ  a different color or something?

                          #61482
                          Grace H.
                          @gh24682468999
                            • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                            • Total Posts: 199

                            @ceaseless-prayer I think you attached a PDF file (it ends with Ian calling over the phone, ā€œyou know, just within boundariesā€) so Iā€™m not exactly sure thatā€™s what you wantedā€“?

                            But Iā€™ve read the story, and so far, I think itā€™s pretty cool even though the PDF doesnā€™t contain all of it yet. I can kind of see where youā€™re going with the death theme, and its interesting that you have a teenage boy wander around graveyards. It adds the layers of familial tension and reflections on the deep things of life, so I canā€™t wait to see how this finishes!

                            A few formatting tips ā€” at the beginning when the teenager is narrating, you should probably put that into the format usually used for dialogue (which starts page 3). Otherwise its easy to mix up description with the actual words being spoken. If Tommy is narrating you can put ā€œTOMMY (V.O.)ā€ (standing for voiceover) in the character cue. Also, you might be putting a bit more action into the parentheticals than youā€™re supposed to ā€” for example, Madeline looking at Tommy curiously on page five should be in the description format.

                            Hope this helps!

                            It's g-h, 2-4-6-8 twice, three 9's
                            literatureforthelight.wordpress.com

                            #61487
                            Keleigha Liess
                            @ceaseless-prayer
                              • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                              • Total Posts: 23

                              @gh24682468999 Yes, it does! Hmm, I will check it out after I get off workā€¦ Thanks for the comments and encouragement. =)

                              #61630
                              Keleigha Liess
                              @ceaseless-prayer
                                • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                                • Total Posts: 23

                                Okay, I redid it. Here is the entire script:

                                https://drive.google.com/file/d/1E0sy1mLG6ViQBCtxCTU5oGImTTDKnQ2l/view?usp=sharing šŸ™‚

                                #62106
                                Keleigha Liess
                                @ceaseless-prayer
                                  • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                                  • Total Posts: 23

                                  @rochellaine @gh24682468999@seekjustice @alia @dekreel Donā€™t feel like you have to or anything, but if any of you guys were wanting to proof my script, Iā€™d appreciate if you could get it done this week, or early next weekā€¦ Thanks for the tips @gh24682468999 šŸ™‚

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